3 Months of NC  I'm going backwards

[LoveB86]

I was just fine until 3 months came since the breakup and being NC. The two lovebirds at work are enjoying the helk outta of their "life is grand" relationship. Here I am going backwards.. literally at 180. Realizing he had not contacted me since and probably never will. But why do I still feel sad and miss this man who cheated on me with a co worker and left me cold? Why am I even questioning myself, I know better than that! He was wrong and disappeared from my life to enjoy his new woman. Why I can't stop thinking about the day (2 weeks ago) when I walked past him at work, he stared at me right dead in the eyes like a deer in headlights, but then put his head down? Why can't I stop reminscing why he did that? What did it meant? Was he at awe of the new ME? The now summer fit, long hair girl that stopped bothering him a week after the breakup? I disappeared from him even though we work together.

 

Why am I thinking this way? Why am I hurt that his new girlfrend from our work hates me? I mean I am not trying to be her friend, but I am hurt that the pain he caused and he now caused people to hate me for no reason?? I never did that to him at work... never said anything bad about him even though he cheated. I guess he has no guilt.

 

I can't stop thinking of him. I am sad he hadn't reach out to apologize because I was a good person to him. I don't need closure, but why am I feel this way at 3 months and a week of NC? I am crying .. I'm going backwards 

 

Help me, I don't want to go back to where I started. I need some advice please 

[groupergirl]

Please know that you are not alone. My ex is living it up with his new GF. Totally dumped me erased me out of his life.

 

The head on the desk thing is probably the fact that he does not want to feel guilty. He does not want to look at you because he would have to face the fact that he is in fact a big *******.

 

I am in so much pain so I understand how you feel.

 

Know this - he is not going to change. It may not make you feel any better but seriously do you really want anything to do with this guy? He does not respect you and if he did he will not tell you.

 

It is a long road but you can do it. I so want to FB his new GF - she doesn't have a clue what he is capable of. But I wont do it. It is not my style nor my place.

 

I am going to guess this guy never cared for you and somehow you are going to get past this. Don't let him win anymore with you. Keep looking great and don't let him see you sweat!

[mtnbiker3000]

Hang in there. The road to recovery is up and down. You are just on a 'down' at the moment. You will be OK...

[LoveB86]

Down, up, down, and up! Seriously, how long is this going to last? He obviously isn't feeling it... so why can't I just forget about it all.

 

I'm just so tired of this misery. I haven't bothered him since the BU... why can't I just move on!! I'm so sick of this while he's living his perfect life. I'm tired...