CSD Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 OK so I joined this forum a few minutes ago cos I've decided to be humble and ask for help or at least better understand why my dating life sucks so bad right now. I've historically been successful with ladies and could proudly sing Jay Z's I got 99 problems but a chic ain't one. Recently got transferred by my company to another city and everything just seems to be falling apart. I recently met this gorgeous and intelligent professional woman at a happy hour and after a phone call or two we decided to go on a date. We had a great first date where we had great conversation and really just got to laugh and have a good time while getting to know each other. The second date was even better. We had a nice dinner followed by drinks at a very classy bar. Ended up kissing several times during the night: at her door, while having drinks, while walking to get a cab etc. She was clearly into me or so I thought. She told me not more than once how different I was from a lot of guys she had met. That was the end of the good times though. Was looking forward to an amazing third date when she bluntly tells me by text message that she only wants to be friends because she feels "no romantic connection at all". Thinking it was because I had acted like a gentleman and not tried to have sex immediately, I called and asked if she thought we wanted different things but she confirmed that she knew I wanted romance but all she could offer was friendship. She also made it very clear that she didn't want to see me again. I'm back in the game and already talking to someone else but sometimes I wonder why women treat guys this way. I'm going crazy here trying to figure out what I did wrong.
lissa90 Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 You did nothing wrong. She was just not that into you as she probably first thought. No biggie, its not the end of the world. Don't take it to heart nor let it knock your ego :]. People use "lack of chemistry" etc as an easy way to let you down rather than be blunt. As you've said, you are back in the game and talking to someone else, so just chalk it up to a stale mate.
kaydubz Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 You didn't do anything wrong. And I'm sorry that happened to you. I've been through similar issues with guys, but never did the whole kissing and end up not liking the guy thing. It really could be that she's just not that into you. Though I don't really believe that there was no romantic connection at all if she was kissing you that much.
nescafe1982 Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 You did nothing wrong. She was just not that into you as she probably first thought. ^ This. Sometimes I wonder if we attribute too much of the failure for a couple dates to develop into full-blown romance to something we did wrong because it gives us a feeling of control over the situation. Both men and women ask "what did I do wrong?" as a first resort, when in reality a failed date is often about a lack of mutual chemistry. At this stage of the game so much is out of our hands... so why do we torture ourselves, looking for flaws like this? Glad to hear you've moved on, OP.
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