Z33 Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 Ok, so we officially broke up 3 weeks ago yet I couldnt do the no contact. Every 3-4 days, I got a hold of her. And things went ugly. She blocked my number and facebook. I always had clean break ups but this girl is really hard to let go after 2 years of relationship. She has my laptop. For school project, I need files from the laptop. I also got a job offer overseas and suppose to let my possible employer by 17th if I want to take the job or not. So I wanted to talk to her about it. Last night, I went over to her apt and she went CRAZY on me. She was just angry. I tried to talk to her in calm manners yet she started pushing me away, told me to get out. She said she never loved me, blah blah. Grabbed my shirt, pulling, pushing, all that crazy stuff It was my fault that I couldnt keep up the no contact. The reason of the break up was that she needed the time and space. Also, my short temper. I dated few crazy girls in the past but I always ended it clean. This one, I dont think I can let her go so Im going no contact on her. After a long conversation with a friend and reading psychology articles, I still dont understand why she acted that way. When I went over to her apartment, I saw all the things I got for her and even my old toothbrush. She still have the stuffed animals I got for her, her early birthday present (DSLR camera), my laptop. She still uses the phone I got for christmas. If she talked to me in calm manners that she has no feelings for me, I wouldnt even bother to post about this. Im just going no contact. Not for her to call me back but to work on my temper.
Author Z33 Posted July 7, 2013 Author Posted July 7, 2013 Any opinions on why she did such thing? I am more curious about her actions rather than getting back together
Author Z33 Posted July 7, 2013 Author Posted July 7, 2013 She just called me and asked me not to talk to her sister and come to her apartment. I said ok and i told her i wont contact you. But if she wants to talk or need me, she can always call me. I even told her she can come back to me even if she dates another man. To be honest, i really dont care. This is 21st century. I shared bed with many women and she has her past. It sucks if she sleeps with another guy but officially, we are not together. If that makes her to feel guilty and want to come back to me, im ok with it. I told her i would work on improving myself. I do crossfit and brazilian jiu jitsu so im very fit. However, i know im not the smartest guy out there. Im going to spend more time on studying and since im going back to school next month, it is very good time to focus on things i need to accomplish. Some of us are not like other guys. I know i cant be a player or a bad guy. I trust people and believe human are good from the nature. From the 2 years of relationship with my lady, i found out shes a very caring person with warm heart. She donated $ to poor people in vietnam whenever she had chance. She helped her friends whenever they needed her. I believe shes a good person so i believe what she did to me last night was not her true intention. I just believe and know that we will see each other soon. Weird, but i feel much better and calm now. 3 weeks ago, i felt like i got shot in the chest but now, i am more calm and can go to sleep well. I think she would suffer from now on. Or maybe not. Who knows
Author Z33 Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 So no one knows why she hit me? lol Im just so curious
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 This: "I even told her she can come back to me even if she dates another man. To be honest, i really dont care. This is 21st century. I shared bed with many women and she has her past. It sucks if she sleeps with another guy but officially, we are not together. If that makes her to feel guilty and want to come back to me, im ok with it." Seems you make as good a doormat as you do a punching bag. Why did she hit you? Because YOU Let her KNOW that she could. She doesn't value you because you de-value yourself. And while I agree that she, you, me and everyone else has a past, thats exactly what it is, a past. Meaning once she's moved on to someone else, HE is not her past, he's her present, you are the past. Sloppy seconds anyone? I thinks its best you just let it go. Go NC, and if you have self respect, you won't take her back in the unlikely event she comes back That'd be a start to show her you AREN'T her punching bag. Literally and figuratively.
Hoaks Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Well unfortunately man, it sounds like she is sick of you big time. Turning up to her place would have frustrated the hell out of her. My ex is like this, shes sick of the sight of me for some reason and she threatened to hit me if I didnt leave near the end for us. They just want to be left alone. Just leave her alone for awhile.
Author Z33 Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 Yes, Im her punching bag lol she just called me and told me I shouldnt take the job overseas. We had good talk for 10 minutes and talked about how things are going for each other. She said shes still angry but didnt tell me why shes angry. I said happy early birthday to her. Friday is her birthday and I told her I didnt want to make her feel bad by sending her text that day. she said thanks. In the end she said "I will talk to you la.... I gotta go." I am excited but I am still not gonna call her first. Im gonna wait till she reach back to me again. I am her punching bag because she was with me when I was going through the hardest time of my life. My family had 2 restaurants but we had to close one due to economy. Our house got foreclosed. I was also going through some issues with work and school. However, she stayed with me and supported me. I worked odd hours (3 AM to 9 AM on weekdays) and worked 25 hours on saturday/sunday So yeah, I sound stupid but thats how my relationship has been. This pic explains everything
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Hahaha love the pic, and I get it. But even at that the line has to drawn somewhere in order for you to keep your dignity. Well, as far as her reaching back out to you? Dunno, I wouldn't hold my breath. But yes, give her distance, and more important give YOURSELF space and a reality check. Do you really want that kind of psycho? And I'm speaking from experience. My ex would go ballistic and I'd stand there and take it. Funny part is this is LONG before our BU. Hell, she wanted to get married Lol. Worst case scenario is you don't hear back from her, you will no longer have to be her punching bag. Good luck
Author Z33 Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 Thanks alot. So basically shes another psycho? lol Shes turning 22 this friday. I am 27. My last ex is 3 years older than me and she was WAAAAAAYYY more crazy. Just because she was older, I thought she would be more mature and act better than other girls but I was WRONG She did a lot of crazy things but lets just say I bailed her out TWICE from jail.
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Yeah, thats why they need to come with LABELS Hahahaa! And the older ex of yours had more time to perfect her psycho "craft" Jeeze mine was 37 when we met, crazy from day one! Yet I loved her, go figure. Probably says a lot about me Thats what I meant by "I speak from experience"
CC12 Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 She has my laptop. For school project, I need files from the laptop. I also got a job offer overseas and suppose to let my possible employer by 17th if I want to take the job or not. So I wanted to talk to her about it. You don't need to ask her opinion on your personal life anymore. And you don't need the files. You can live without them. Also you told her to keep the laptop, so forget about it. It's gone. These are just excuses you've made up to have a reason to contact her. It's not really okay since she told you she doesn't want to speak to you anymore. Last night, I went over to her apt and she went CRAZY on me. She was just angry. ... After a long conversation with a friend and reading psychology articles, I still dont understand why she acted that way Sometimes, people can get pushed into extreme reactions. It's never okay to put your hands on someone else in anger, and I don't think she reacted in the best way possible. But I think you've poked her and prodded at her, probably for a long time now, but especially since the relationship ended and she told you she needs space. You haven't left her alone. I think the straw that broke the camel's back was showing up at her house (unannounced, it sounds like.) And she lost it on you. You admit to having a temper, so you should understand what that can be like. It's also possible she was simply scared that you took it as far as going to her apartment and was fighting you to get you away. It's a pretty natural human reaction to fear. 1
Echo000 Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 sounds like you both have issues that need to be worked out while apart from one another. Why she would have any input on whether you take a job overseas makes no sense to me, seeing as you two not only broke up but she has a strong desire to NOT see you as of now. Its less that you two need to work things out as a couple, but more that you both need to work on yourselves as individuals. Dont wait around hoping for a call. Leave your phone at home, and go out in the world and better yourself.
Author Z33 Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 I went over to her apartment after she called me first. She said she could come over on sunday morning. I told her I would be busy yet she said "well im gonna come. Bye." and hung up on me. I texted her I will come over right now. And she didnt reply. As soon as I got to her apt, she opened the door and went CRAZY on me
almond Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 I recommend therapy. You should look into changing the fact that you are willing to be consistently abused, and are happy to run back. The fact that you are happy to stay in a relationship with someone that clearly does not want you, and treats you like garbage, is very telling IMO You also mention that you have a history of being abused in relationships with "crazy" girls. Speak to a professional, so that you may have a chance at a healthy and happy relationship in the future. Do not continue this cycle. I hope you can accept that there is a problem within yourself that you need to work on, and I genuinely hope you take the necessary steps to improve yourself and your life. Good luck.
NoLeafClover Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 She just called me and asked me not to talk to her sister and come to her apartment. I said ok and i told her i wont contact you. But if she wants to talk or need me, she can always call me. I even told her she can come back to me even if she dates another man. To be honest, i really dont care. This is 21st century. I shared bed with many women and she has her past. It sucks if she sleeps with another guy but officially, we are not together. If that makes her to feel guilty and want to come back to me, im ok with it. I told her i would work on improving myself. I do crossfit and brazilian jiu jitsu so im very fit. ..... You're a tool. "Hey listen, I know u don't wanna see me, be with me or what not... but ill be here and its okay even if u screw another man No problem this is 21 century and that is enough reason for me to be okay with my gf screwing another man. Oh and I do brazilian jiu jitsu so I am like very fit hopefully she can see that I am a great guy even though I am telling her I don't have a backbone." Grow some balls, find a way to get your computer and your belongings back from her and stop contacting her. No one wants to be with someone that has no dignity for themselves. You need to realize that if she says it's over than you do just that. Stop contacting her and find someone else better for you. 2
Author Z33 Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 ^thanks for the advice and nice try trolling on twisting my words and calling me a tool. I could troll back but no, i wont do that. I appreciate your input and i have no intention of contacting her.
NoLeafClover Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 ^thanks for the advice and nice try trolling on twisting my words and calling me a tool. I could troll back but no, i wont do that. I appreciate your input and i have no intention of contacting her. I am not trying to put you down but you're allowing your ex step all over you and your emotions. You should of not told her anything besides was nice to meet you and have a great life. She could of simply called the police or filed for a restraining order after the multiple contacts. You might think its over the top and very exaggerated but you will be surprised what crazy ex's can do and obviously hurting you is not big concern to her. Don't allow yourself to be pushed around. Make yourself a goal to not contact her and in no time you will find new things to do, make new friends find a better girl and you won't think of her. I was going through a tough time in Early dec when my ex broke things of with me. Now it's july and I haven't thought of her in months. She did throw breadcrumbs and i never replied back to anythings she sent my way. Your goal should be to better yourself and to gain your confidence back. Don't be tough on yourself either. Just because you did a few things wrong does not mean it's all your fault things ended. Perhaps she was not ready or mature enough (I don't think she was mature to even handle the breakup the right way)
Chi townD Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Yes, Im her punching bag lol she just called me and told me I shouldnt take the job overseas. We had good talk for 10 minutes and talked about how things are going for each other. She said shes still angry but didnt tell me why shes angry. I said happy early birthday to her. Friday is her birthday and I told her I didnt want to make her feel bad by sending her text that day. she said thanks. In the end she said "I will talk to you la.... I gotta go." I am excited but I am still not gonna call her first. Im gonna wait till she reach back to me again. I am her punching bag because she was with me when I was going through the hardest time of my life. My family had 2 restaurants but we had to close one due to economy. Our house got foreclosed. I was also going through some issues with work and school. However, she stayed with me and supported me. I worked odd hours (3 AM to 9 AM on weekdays) and worked 25 hours on saturday/sunday So yeah, I sound stupid but thats how my relationship has been. This pic explains everything ARE YOU NUTS!!!! TAKE THE JOB OVERSEA'S!!!!! You're gonna pass up an opportunity of a lifetime for someone that told you that she doesn't want to be with you, to stop contacting her or her family and never go to her apartment. And also hitting someone is a deal breaker in my book, you should NEVER hit someone! How does that show you any love? Why did she hit you? One of two reasons: 1. She bat sh*t crazy 2. She had a guy coming over to her place and you were screwing up her plans. She needed to fight with you to get you the hell out of there before this other dude arrived. So, you're going to turn down a job oversea's to experience new sites and a new culture JUST BECAUSE SHE SAYS NO?!?!?! basically, she doesn't want to be with you; but, she doesn't want you to move on with your life either. Insane.....TAKE THE JOB!!!!!! Oh and by the way! That pic doesn't explain anything. IT'S PHOTO SHOPPED!! 1
JDPT Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Any woman who acts this violently and feels entitled to call you names is certainly not worth it. This is one of the things I absolutely do not tolerate, I can have a calm and grown up conversation with her but the second she become irritable and starts screaming that's when it's time for a break as nothing productive will come out of that mere attempt at communication. As stated previously let her be, take the job, move forward with your life, you can certainly do much better.
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