Three months later, I still miss him, a lot! I want to contact him. Bad idea?

[ShortD14]

My ex and I dated for 5 months. He was such a sweetheart; always lending me his jacket when I was cold before we were even dating, and other sweet things. I don't know what it was about him, but we both seemed to fall for each other very quickly. We had so much fun together and we were both very attracted to each other. Although like many other couples we had issues, but they never were huge or enough to cause damage. We would always make up within the next few hours or by the next day.

 

After two months I asked if he loved me truly, and it was confirmed that we were very much in love with one another.

 

But as we entered our 5th month I sometimes doubted what he said because every time we would get close he would push me away. I tried asking what was wrong and he would reply it's too personal. After a while of this back and forth arguing I ended up breaking up with him, because of this constant circle we were running.

 

I didn't want to, but it seemed as I had no other choice. Before ending things I hugged him but he didn't hug back, I tried once more to ask what was wrong and he just gave me look that said he didn't wanna explain it to me again. I got upset and asked him if he still wanted to be together, with which he replied I dunno. After that reply I told him that I would make his decision easy for him and told him bye. I have to admit I screwed up real bad. I got really angry and I felt really hurt after our last fight. I was convinced at the time that he wanted to break up with me but didn't know how to so he did things to make me break up with him.

 

As typical right after doing this I regretted it and tried talking to him, so that hopefully maybe we could work things out, but it was to no avail. When that didn't work I got a little depressed.

 

Thankfully I had a friend who was blunt and didn't like seeing me this way and told me I needed to get over it. (but with more curse words and forceful attitude) I took her advice and started over. Doing everything and anything to get my mind off of him. I had activities and a trip to distract for the first 2 months. I had even met another guy since our breakup, but it really just made me miss him. These past few weeks have hit me very hard. He just invades my thoughts constantly and while I try to have a good time my mind wonders back to memories we shared and it just brings me down.

 

Over and over I have thought about contacting him and asking if we could possibly meet up to talk things over. But I'm too scared to call him or text him because I feel like he will just ignore me and I don't want to feel stupid.

 

What should I do?

[TaraMaiden]

leave him completely alone.

 

He wanted to break up with you.

he just didn't have the balls to do it.

 

So he's a spineless coward.

Not worth it.

Move on, hun.

you obviously have so much to give.

 

Find someone who deserves it.

[supaflyz]

OMG the first few paragraphs took me by surprise. It's like word for word my relationship with my ex. We dated for 6 months. For a moment I thought you was my ex lol. I use to lend her my jacket when it was cold. I sometime would watch the news and the forecast predicted that it would get cold. I lend her my thick jackets. We had a fun time together. I also told her I love her 2 months in. Even though I knew her over the summer we started dating September of last year. Then of course things ended badly the last month. It was a cycle for us as well. After reading the last paragraph i knew you wasn't my ex. YOu seem much more caring than her. She turn into a cold person. Someone that I could never imagine treat me like that. She didn't ask if I wanted another try.

 

My advice is to contact. I bet he will be happy to hear from u. Its also 3 months since our break up. Sorry my grammar and spelling is terrible tonight. I just got home from the club and had a few drinks.

[TaraMaiden]

My advice is to contact. I bet he will be happy to hear from u.

Dreadful advice.

 

Sorry, but it is.

And being drunk - or at least, recognising you're a little 'over the eight' is a classic type of weakness.

 

So many members contacted their exes whilst they were drunk/tipsy/plastered/senseless, and ALL - ALL of them - bitterly regretted it once sober.

 

So sadly, with the greatest of respect, this advice is ill-timed, and definitely NOT to be followed!!

 

he made it perfectly clear - through his words AND actions - that being 'close to you' was uncomfortable for him, and he didn't want any part of it.

 

He let you make the final break, because that's precisely what he wanted you to do.

He emotionally manipulated you into a corner, and left you with only that way out.

 

That's beneath contempt.

 

Since then, he himself has made absolutely no attempt to communicate with you.

Hell, he wouldn't even communicate with you when you asked him to!

 

No - really - please put any thought of contacting him completely out of your mind.....

[Simon Phoenix]

OMG the first few paragraphs took me by surprise. It's like word for word my relationship with my ex. We dated for 6 months. For a moment I thought you was my ex lol. I use to lend her my jacket when it was cold. I sometime would watch the news and the forecast predicted that it would get cold. I lend her my thick jackets. We had a fun time together. I also told her I love her 2 months in. Even though I knew her over the summer we started dating September of last year. Then of course things ended badly the last month. It was a cycle for us as well. After reading the last paragraph i knew you wasn't my ex. YOu seem much more caring than her. She turn into a cold person. Someone that I could never imagine treat me like that. She didn't ask if I wanted another try.

 

My advice is to contact. I bet he will be happy to hear from u. Its also 3 months since our break up. Sorry my grammar and spelling is terrible tonight. I just got home from the club and had a few drinks.

 

Couldn't disagree more with this advice. The OP is not in the state to contact her ex right now.