Break up after 3.5 year relationship with who I thought was the love of my life

[love.hurt]

Hello

 

Three days ago my now ex broke up with me. We had been together for 3.5 years which I would consider a very loving relationship.

Until about 3 months ago she told me she was unhappy with her life in the city we are in as there was constant drama with her friends which resulted her in tears most weekends and did not particularly like her job. She made the decision to move to another city in hope to make new friends and find a better job. I could not believe how easy it was for her to make this decision and at first couldnt handle it and we argued for a couple hours until I left and didnt speak to her for around 24 hours. The day after she called and I answered, once again we argued as I was so angry with her. I thought how does a girl who calls her boyfriend the love of her life just pick up and go so easily. I even tried telling her to wait so I can finish my studies and follow her. She wouldnt. She wanted to continue our relationship as long distance and said she fully is comitted to making this work. I never have believed in long distance relationships and was not keen at first but after some time to think, I decided to give it a shot.

 

1 month later she moved, Still in love and happy we were ready to face the challenge of long distance. As soon as she arrived it became quite hard, she didnt want to talk to me on Skype much as she found it too hard to see "my face". So we texted and I would try initiate skype convos as much as I could. After 3 weeks I went over and visited her for a weekend. At first it felt a bit weird like she was a little distant but after having some time alone things were back to normal and the intimacy was back. After I left, we continued texting and once again was not able to skype much as it made her too sad to see me. 1 month and a half after since she had left she had found herself a descent job and a nice place to live. Now her contact was at its worse sometimes going for days without contacting me. So three days ago I set up a skype date with her which she agreed to after not having one for over a week.

 

We caught up and talked but after about 10 minutes she said she had to go as she needed to go and get dinner. I couldnt believe it we hadnt spoken for a week and a half and shes cutting off our skype convo so she can go and get some dinner. I told her how I felt about it and she was apologetic and told me please to be angry. We then said good bye and I said "I guess I wont be able to skype you until next week, see you then". I cut the call after I said that.

 

5 minutes later she called on my cell phone she was crying and said "I cant do this anymore, it is too hard. I need to find myself and figure out what I want in life". After pleading with her for a bit to rethink what she was doing I finally gave up and decided to accept and hang up. She then sent me a txt after and said Im sorry sorry blah blah blah I really did want this to work etc.

 

So now broken up I thought over the last month of our relationship. The truth is she didnt try very hard at the long distance thing event though she said claims she did. Hardly ever contacting me does not show that she was trying and it made me so mad because it was her idea to try the long distance and promised me shed do her best to make it work.

 

Any way the day after I sent her a txt saying something along the lines of "Im fine, I could see this coming the way things were. I hope you find it is whatever you are looking for. Good luck."

 

So now its been almost 4 days with no contact. Im still very much in love with the girl and hope one day we can reconcile things. You may be thinking "she's not in love with you and she wants to move on". (which could be very much true) but it is hard for me to believe that as 2 months ago the love and affection she showed me was so real. Shed say things like you are the love of my life, I want to have your kids one day etc.

 

However I am her first and I picked up on a few comments she said over the years when talking about her little sister who had only had one boyfriend for over 4 years and said things about her like "How can she stay with him knowing you never know what else it out there" This was a shot in the heart to me as she is in the very same position and got me to realise maybe she does want to explore more before she commits forever.

 

Any way I have accepted the break up trying to move on but knowing deep down I want her back. I will update this thread on my progress with the breakup. I am going away on holiday in a week to Los Angeles and Las Vegas and hope it will help me keep my mind off of her.

 

Please comment and let me know what you think of her actions and where her head is probably at.

 

Also please give me advice on things I should do.

 

Thanks

[Z33]

I just got out of 2 years of relationships and dragged her for 3 weeks. I now realize how stupid i was. I feel you totally.