somedude81 Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Flip those two around. Making connections should be number 1. Luck should be number 2. I can see why you would think that luck plays a huge role. My first gf told me she started liking me after she caught me babysitting my little sister when she came to drop something off. For the longest time I though I just got lucky with her but then I realized that if I hadn't become friends with her in the first place, she would've never come to my house that day. I personally hate explaining things with luck. You'll find that the most successful people in life are successful because they are doers. They don't just wait around for stuff to happen to them. They make things happen. I'm not saying that there's no luck involved but I don't think you should ever wait on luck to drive your life. Life is too short for that. I've made friends with a ton of girls and none of them before her have ever wanted anything other than friends. There is no doubt in my mind that I got extremely lucky with her. The breakup with her ex was at the absolute perfect time. For some reason she started to like me before I asked her out which no girl has ever done before. And she's extremely easy going and lets me stumble around. Right now she's basically the best I could ever hope for. With the way things have been going so well, there is just no way that luck hasn't had a significant impact. Of course, I know that my actions have been and are very important to maintain this relationship.
Hazzard Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 I don't talk to women, I've never had a conversation with one except my mother I have crippling social anxiety Low self esteem and massive inferiority complex I have no friends I have no social life, I never go out as I have no friends
patrol Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 I've made friends with a ton of girls and none of them before her have ever wanted anything other than friends. There is no doubt in my mind that I got extremely lucky with her. The breakup with her ex was at the absolute perfect time. For some reason she started to like me before I asked her out which no girl has ever done before. And she's extremely easy going and lets me stumble around. Right now she's basically the best I could ever hope for. With the way things have been going so well, there is just no way that luck hasn't had a significant impact. Of course, I know that my actions have been and are very important to maintain this relationship. Well I mean if you think it's luck then I won't argue with you. I just personally don't want to put my life in the hands of something I can't control at all.
PinkSapphire Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 This is to FortyNineThousand, but it likely applies to many of you/us: flirt with people you don't find attractive. This is how you practice. Flirting is harmless, and most everyone does it - especially with people who are "safe." It is so fun to flirt interact with people, especially when it seems clear that neither are in it for serious. Just fun laughs, teases, compliments - makes both people feel good, and is great practice for the real thing. More people need to try this. this is how I got good at it, as a woman. Just be careful they aren't actually interested so you aren't being cruel to someone (stop immediately if this appears to be the case). I have so many great male friends who dated and ended up in relationships, engaged, married during our whole flirting relationship. Clearly, they didn't want more from me nor I from them, but we both certainly had fun and got good at it. If you wait for the people you are attracted to and nervous around, it will come off badly. You will be shaky, the stakes will be too high, and it just won't go well. Practice, practice, practice. Ok, that's all I have to add for now 1
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