JustAReformedGirl Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 A little background. My daughter, who just turned five this past May, was a slow learner as far as potty training goes. Most kids start training (or are trained) by two usually, right? It took my daughter until she was three for this to be accomplished. Now, once that was accomplished, my daughter still wore Good Nights' (well, the equivalent of) to bed every night until she was about four and a half. In December of 2012, she no longer wore them. Bed wetting hadn't been an issue; there had been maybe 2 occasions, all told, until June of this year. For about the last week and a half that she was in school, she started wetting the bed. It was about 2 or 3 times. Now that she's on Summer vacation (which started June 27th) she has wet the bed every night since. I always make sure she goes to the bathroom before bed, and I've heard her get up the odd night (about an hour or two after her bed time) to go to the bathroom. However, in the morning, I either find damp pajamas with the undeniable stench of urine on them on her bedroom floor at the very least, or I find both wet pajamas and a wet bed at the very most. The latter is usually the case, in which I grow very tired of stripping her bed and washing linen, nearly every day. So I have theorized that maybe because she hasn't been getting up as early as she did during the school year, she's just not making it to the bathroom on time. I can't think of any other change in our lives that could be causing this. Any second opinions on this? I just don't understand why it's suddenly an issue, after so many months of no trouble at all. I've tried both positive and some negative reinforcement. I praise her the days I don't find urine soaked linen and pajamas, and I've taken away privileges (after giving her warnings) when it continues. Any insight on how to end this bad habit of hers are greatly appreciated. I'm trying not to lose my temper with her, but it's becoming a lot more difficult.
Balzac Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Negative reinforcement, punishment and anger? Oh that's just wrong. She's a five year old kid. What she needs is a medical evaluation. 3
Balzac Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 https://www.hopkinschildrens.org/bedwetting-or-enuresis.aspx?fullsite=1
Author JustAReformedGirl Posted July 6, 2013 Author Posted July 6, 2013 Negative reinforcement, punishment and anger? Oh that's just wrong. She's a five year old kid. What she needs is a medical evaluation. Cripes, I haven't struck her, or anything. I meant negative reinforcement as in taking away video game privileges. I've kept my cool fairly well, all told. I'm just reaching exasperation levels. Why would she suddenly start having this issue, when she was doing so well for so long?
Author JustAReformedGirl Posted July 6, 2013 Author Posted July 6, 2013 https://www.hopkinschildrens.org/bedwetting-or-enuresis.aspx?fullsite=1 Thank you, this actually helps. I still don't know what is triggering it, but perhaps I'll just need to go back to using Good Nights for her. 1
sweetkiwi Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Don't be sad mamas. It could be such a wide variety of things such as increased fluid consumption, stress, or nightmares. Just be patient and don't be mad. 1
Balzac Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Some kids are neurologically incapable. Stress can be a factor. I know of two boys who were over 10 and took those sleeper diaper things to summer camp. I can nearly guarantee your little girl cannot control this. Shame is a heavy hand. 2
Author JustAReformedGirl Posted July 6, 2013 Author Posted July 6, 2013 Don't be sad mamas. It could be such a wide variety of things such as increased fluid consumption, stress, or nightmares. Just be patient and don't be mad. I'm doing my best on that. I'm trying not to let it stress me out too much, because I keep worrying that if I'm stressed out-even if I don't show it-it might make it worse for her. I really don't want to be mad at her, since she's little. Hopefully it passes soon. Good thing we have one of those mattress protectors on her bed. 1
Author JustAReformedGirl Posted July 6, 2013 Author Posted July 6, 2013 Some kids are neurologically incapable. Stress can be a factor. I know of two boys who were over 10 and took those sleeper diaper things to summer camp. I can nearly guarantee your little girl cannot control this. Shame is a heavy hand. If it persists for another week, I'm probably going to have to get her back into those, then. We're visiting family for 2 weeks, come mid July. It might be my best plan of action, at least until she gains control again. Thanks for your advice. I do appreciate it.
sweetkiwi Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Some kids are neurologically incapable. Stress can be a factor. I know of two boys who were over 10 and took those sleeper diaper things to summer camp. I can nearly guarantee your little girl cannot control this. Shame is a heavy hand. I wet the bed till I was nearly 11. And have done it as an adult as well. I dream I am at home going to the bathroom and I simply release my bladder. I cannot help it though it was, and occasionally is, a source of great embarrassment and shame. My dad used to get very very upset, not angry but disappointed which was almost worse. I would pray before bedtime that I wouldn't pee so dad wouldn't be sad with me.
Author JustAReformedGirl Posted July 6, 2013 Author Posted July 6, 2013 I wet the bed till I was nearly 11. And have done it as an adult as well. I dream I am at home going to the bathroom and I simply release my bladder. I cannot help it though it was, and occasionally is, a source of great embarrassment and shame. My dad used to get very very upset, not angry but disappointed which was almost worse. I would pray before bedtime that I wouldn't pee so dad wouldn't be sad with me. I can just imagine how difficult that's been for you. I used to have those dreams when I was little, too. It was very occasional, and I haven't had a problem since I was 6 or 7, I think. In those cases, there was definitely stress in my life, which I believe led to it. Yours probably was stemmed from your dad as well. I'm sure he didn't mean to be upset; he was probably worried, as I am with my daughter.
mrs rubble Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I would get her urine tested, sometimes a UTI can cause bed wetting in children. 1
Author JustAReformedGirl Posted July 6, 2013 Author Posted July 6, 2013 I would get her urine tested, sometimes a UTI can cause bed wetting in children. I may very well do that, too. When I really think of it, she drinks a lot of fluid during the day-but she hasn't been relieving herself as often as usual. You could be on to something. 1
Balzac Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Often children play hard, swim in pools not up to cleanliness standards, sleep very soundly, may have a UTI. Lots of developmental changes at age 5. Provide access to disposable overnight pullons. Hang in there. 1
sweetkiwi Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I can just imagine how difficult that's been for you. I used to have those dreams when I was little, too. It was very occasional, and I haven't had a problem since I was 6 or 7, I think. In those cases, there was definitely stress in my life, which I believe led to it. Yours probably was stemmed from your dad as well. I'm sure he didn't mean to be upset; he was probably worried, as I am with my daughter. Yes I had a traumatic childhood to say the least, my dad being disappointed was like the only person who loved me being sad about something I was doing, but couldn't help.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I second a trip to a qualified pediatrician. Instead of taking things away, maybe reward her for dry nights. At 5 I wouldn't make it long term, but maybe two consecutive nights for something small she likes but if she makes a week, maybe that's a new video game. My 25 year old was crazy about beanie babies as a child. I bought bags go the things every week. I can't tell y how many behaviors we improved with beanie babies! My son is more expensive! Anything she loves? 1
Author JustAReformedGirl Posted July 6, 2013 Author Posted July 6, 2013 Yes I had a traumatic childhood to say the least, my dad being disappointed was like the only person who loved me being sad about something I was doing, but couldn't help. Awww. I hope your relationship with your father improved, once you mostly grew out of it. Balzac: Thank you. Your advice and insight are very much appreciated. 1
Author JustAReformedGirl Posted July 6, 2013 Author Posted July 6, 2013 I second a trip to a qualified pediatrician. Instead of taking things away, maybe reward her for dry nights. At 5 I wouldn't make it long term, but maybe two consecutive nights for something small she likes but if she makes a week, maybe that's a new video game. That's what I told her, today. She didn't get to play any of her games, but I told her if she has a dry night tonight, she'll get to play video games tomorrow. I'm definitely thinking she needs to get checked out. I have to wait until my husband is back at the end of next week, though. We only have one car, and he has it. My 25 year old was crazy about beanie babies as a child. I bought bags go the things every week. I can't tell y how many behaviors we improved with beanie babies! My son is more expensive! Anything she loves? I have a bin filled with those. I'm holding on to them until my daughter is a bit older. Oh gods, she loves a lot of different things. The rewards are pretty much endless possibilities for her. I'll definitely take your advice into consideration. Thanks to everyone who has given me input so far. I was really feeling at a loss for what to do.
juicygirl Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 I wouldn't scare or punish her for not making it to the toilet. It puts too much pressure on the child and may have the reserve effect because she's so nervous about disappointing you, plus it's rather mean. Yes she is 5, but you are her parents I can't tell you how many times I've had to clean **** in the last few days but I'm mummy and it's part of the job. Anyway, I would be looking at what changed? Have you asked her about school? Is she being bullied and not telling you, is something else going on that she's worried about? The stress could be causing the bed wetting. I don't it's medical as she was controlling it before then and out of the blue started bed wetting again.I would explore medical issuses after exhausting the other possibilities
Author JustAReformedGirl Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 Juicygirl, I haven't gone out of my way to scare her. As for punishments, again, I haven't done anything extreme. Originally, I grounded her from video games for a day or two (this has been going on for the last 3 weeks, now), but beyond that, I tried to keep things light. I've abandoned grounding her from them, since I got the first bits of advice on here. School is out, so she's definitely not being bullied; she wasn't being bullied at school, either, when it was still in session. They keep a very sharp eye on the kindergarteners. I'm still unclear on what has changed for her; for all I know, it could be something as simple as seasonal changes. When it started, daddy was on normal work hours, but I'm given to wonder if his being away for anywhere from one week to 10 days recently has been throwing her off, causing it to flare up more. Someone also said she might have a UTI, or another common bladder disorder. Trust me, I'm being as positive as possible with her. Yesterday when she woke up, dry bed and pajamas. I was pleased with her, and so told her (along with giving her an extra treat). This morning, not so lucky. But, thanks to everyone posting here, I'm not as worried; I'm sure whatever it is, it will pass. I'll be taking her to the doctor the end of this week, to see if it's either the UTI or the other bladder issue (the name escapes me). Again, thanks everyone for your input. It's been of great help.
smile1983 Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 I had a bed-wetting problem as a child as well. I do not know what caused it but my father admitted to having the same problem as a child, could be hereditary. My oldest daughter doesn't wet the bed anymore but her younger sister is still having a problem at 7 years old and we still put the little three year old to bed in diapers. 1
GorillaTheater Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 My 8-year-old daughter has really struggled with this. For a while my and I would take turns getting up in the middle of the night to wake her up to go to the bathroom, which was difficult because she sleeps extremely soundly, which I'm certain is at least part of the problem. I really would recommend staying away from punishments, at least for now. Besdies taking her to see a physician, I really recommend things like no fluids after 6:00 p.m., no sodas at all, and so forth. We've looked into matress covers that make a somewhat subdued "alarm" noise when they come into contact with liquids, that I understand are pretty effective. We haven't done so becasue we seem to be making progess. Poor kid is terrified of sleep-overs with friends, though, so I hope we get this behind us once and for all. 1
GorillaTheater Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 I wet the bed till I was nearly 11. And have done it as an adult as well. I dream I am at home going to the bathroom and I simply release my bladder. I cannot help it though it was, and occasionally is, a source of great embarrassment and shame. My dad used to get very very upset, not angry but disappointed which was almost worse. I would pray before bedtime that I wouldn't pee so dad wouldn't be sad with me. Oh boy. Hugs, sweetest Kiwi.
Author JustAReformedGirl Posted July 10, 2013 Author Posted July 10, 2013 Thanks again everyone for the input. I do have a mattress cover, luckily; it's one of the ones that resembles a fitted sheet. We used to have one of the ones that covers the entire mattress, which zipped up like a giant Ziploc bag-but it ripped, lol. I've been praising her a lot when she doesn't wet the bed, but she still seems to be doing it more than not. Mostly, only her pajamas get wet, which I figure means she gets out of bed in an attempt to go to the bathroom, but just doesn't make it. Given how close her room is to the bathroom, I'd say it's definitely a lack of control. Still going to take her to the doctor, just to see what their diagnosis is. If they suggest medication, I won't do it. Usually because the side-effects are worse than what's being treated. I'm sure it will rectify itself with time.
hoping2heal Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 She needs to see a doctor as soon as possible. This type of behavior can be a symptom of sexual abuse or psychological distress. Now that doesn't mean either of those is the cause but it would be prudent to rule it out of course. As someone also said it could be a sign of a uti. Punishment no matter how "light" is not a good course of action for treating this and would only serve to further shame her which of course would be more upsetting for her if there was a psychological component she is already dealing with. This could have a harmless root or it could be exposing a very deep problem. Get her evaluated asap.
Recommended Posts