A Single girl will get 100 guys after her and for a single guy none

[Southern Cal Dude]

Well you don't need to learn that, guys must know how to approach you Phoe!

Here you go see how many guys hitting on you !! get the point

 

 

If her current ways aren't working, a change has to be made. If no one is approaching you and you want to find someone, you have to start approaching. Arden Leigh made a good point in one of her videos. A 7 who is charming, articulate, and approaches guys will have more success than the 10 who passively waits for a guy to make a move.

[Simon Phoenix]

You could say the exact same thing to the men around here.

 

Men remember every woman that comes up to them, undesirable or desirable. Unless we are wasted of course.

[Phoe]

I'm not trying to be a douche, but maybe that photo of you isn't an accurate representation of what you look like? My rule of thumb on POF used to be, if they only have 1 picture, regardless of how good it looked, I wasn't messaging. This is b/c it's amazing how people can improve their physical attractiveness by several points with the right shot.

 

Again, not trying to be a d*ck, or call you out. But if that picture IS essentially how you look, I don't believe you've only been hit on a handful of times in years, let alone months, unless you're a hermit or in a very remote tiny town.

 

Yes this is one of my better pictures but there's nothing fancy going on. I like it because I'm wearing makeup and my hair looks nice. I've got other nice photos but I don't change my profile picture because it's the one I've always had, people recognize me by it.

 

 

I've posted photos of me with no makeup before, in other threads. No one's eyes were burned out lol.

[aloneinaz]

Well maybe I'm the exception to the rule, but I don't usually just get over it fast and forget all that love. There were a few times where I have, but I also wasn't in love with them. My breakup was only 3 weeks ago, and I have had a few guys asking me out, but I was truly in love with my ex, so I am in no way ready to just move on with another guy. In time, I'm sure it will happen though

 

I wonder if you're the exception to the rule. A lot of women immediately start dating after a serious relationship to distract themselves from the previous one. I know that's my ex's MO. A relationship ends, and she's right back on the dating sites looking for her next victim.

[Jono85]

Yes this is one of my better pictures but there's nothing fancy going on. I like it because I'm wearing makeup and my hair looks nice. I've got other nice photos but I don't change my profile picture because it's the one I've always had, people recognize me by it.

 

 

I've posted photos of me with no makeup before, in other threads. No one's eyes were burned out lol.

 

oh? where are these photos?! lol. like i said, judging by your avatar pic, something isn't adding up, b/c guys would be hitting on you for sure.

[Phoe]

Also, getting "hit on" is VERY DIFFERENT than being approached genuinely by a man interested in a date.

 

Yes I get "hit on". I get catcalled by creeps in passing cars. I get chased down by homeless men in gas stations. I get 70+ old men asking if they can take me home with them. NONE of this helps me. NONE of this will lead to a relationship.

[andilyn1]

I wonder if you're the exception to the rule. A lot of women immediately start dating after a serious relationship to distract themselves from the previous one. I know that's my ex's MO. A relationship ends, and she's right back on the dating sites looking for her next victim.

 

Yeah I know a lot of people who do this too. Me, I prefer to deal with and heal from the breakup, then date someone else. That way I've dealt with the relationship ending, instead of having it come back to bite me later. I've been an emotional mess since my breakup, on an emotional roller coaster. Probably a horrible time to date again lol

[Southern Cal Dude]

Also, getting "hit on" is VERY DIFFERENT than being approached genuinely by a man interested in a date.

 

Yes I get "hit on". I get catcalled by creeps in passing cars. I get chased down by homeless men in gas stations. I get 70+ old men asking if they can take me home with them. NONE of this helps me. NONE of this will lead to a relationship.

 

 

Then the only logical thing to do is approach the guy's you're interested in.

[Phoe]

Then the only logical thing to do is approach the guy's you're interested in.

 

exactly, I know this. It's just a matter of being brave enough...

[Simon Phoenix]

Also, getting "hit on" is VERY DIFFERENT than being approached genuinely by a man interested in a date.

 

Yes I get "hit on". I get catcalled by creeps in passing cars. I get chased down by homeless men in gas stations. I get 70+ old men asking if they can take me home with them. NONE of this helps me. NONE of this will lead to a relationship.

 

I figured as much.

[Phoe]

I figured as much.

 

what do you mean?

[Simon Phoenix]

what do you mean?

 

I figured that you got plenty of male attention that you weren't referencing when you entered the thread. Maybe it's not from males you like, but you have options.

[Simon Phoenix]

exactly, I know this. It's just a matter of being brave enough...

 

We have to do this 98 percent of the time. I'm sure you can put yourself on the line once or twice.

[Southern Cal Dude]

I figured that you got plenty of male attention that you weren't referencing when you entered the thread. Maybe it's not from males you like, but you have options.

 

 

Exactly. Even if it's from creeps, they're still options and it's still attention.

[Jono85]

don't ignore my request to see these other pics

[Phoe]

I figured that you got plenty of male attention that you weren't referencing when you entered the thread. Maybe it's not from males you like, but you have options.

 

Right, I should be so grateful for the homeless man that comes up to me and sniffs me, telling me I smell nice. I oughta be more reasonable in accepting his advances. Who cares that he lives in a dumpster, has no teeth, and is about 50 years old? What an ungrateful girl I am -.-

[Phoe]

Exactly. Even if it's from creeps, they're still options and it's still attention.

 

Homeless men are now options? Getting "attention" by being accosted by men screaming "yeah baby lemme tap dat ass" is a POSITIVE thing?

 

 

No.

[Phoe]

We have to do this 98 percent of the time. I'm sure you can put yourself on the line once or twice.

 

I have several time and got rejected, so my walls are up.

 

 

Don't get me wrong, I am more than understanding of the fact that men have to do a lot of approaching and get turned down in horrible ways. I've experienced it personally.

 

 

I just am here hoping to gain insight on how to be more approachable or how to learn to be better at approaching. I'm here to learn so I can have success in the future.

[Simon Phoenix]

Right, I should be so grateful for the homeless man that comes up to me and sniffs me, telling me I smell nice. I oughta be more reasonable in accepting his advances. Who cares that he lives in a dumpster, has no teeth, and is about 50 years old? What an ungrateful girl I am -.-

 

You are putting words into my mouth. No one said you should be grateful or not. You just made it sound like no one approaches you, which is obviously untrue. No one said you had to be grateful for the men that do approach you, but it's inaccurate of you to say that you don't get attention from men.

 

The point the OP was making was that it's easier for the typical woman to find a mate than it is for the typical man. He said nothing about the quality of said mate on either side.

[Southern Cal Dude]

Homeless men are now options? Getting "attention" by being accosted by men screaming "yeah baby lemme tap dat ass" is a POSITIVE thing?

 

 

No.

 

 

Yes it is an option. Doesn't matter if you're interested or not. It's still an option. Whether or not your pursue that option is something else.

[Phoe]

You are putting words into my mouth. No one said you should be grateful or not. You just made it sound like no one approaches you, which is obviously untrue. No one said you had to be grateful for the men that do approach you, but it's inaccurate of you to say that you don't get attention from men.

 

I don't recall saying I get 0 attention, if it came off that way it certainly was uninentional. Yes, about once or twice a month I get the odd catcall or grizzled old man acting frisky. But they're not "options" and they're not "dateable". None of it helps me actually getting a date

 

 

My problem is that I do not get approached by normal men who want dates.

 

 

I've definitely discussed it several times with others on this forum that when you're counting how often you get approached for a date, the homeless man accosting me does not count.

[Phoe]

Yes it is an option. Doesn't matter if you're interested or not. It's still an option. Whether or not your pursue that option is something else.

 

-__________-

[Anela]

Exactly. Even if it's from creeps, they're still options and it's still attention.

 

What sort of girls have you ignored? You know, your "options."

 

Any sort of attention is positive? really? What if you got attention from other men? Sexual attention. Would that be positive? I'm not against gay people, but I know men who would s**t a brick if they were getting *that* sort of attention.

[Simon Phoenix]

Yes it is an option. Doesn't matter if you're interested or not. It's still an option. Whether or not your pursue that option is something else.

 

Exactly. I had no interest in the meth head that wanted to go down on me in a parking lot a few weeks back, but it still counts as an option. That's one difference between the sexes -- women are so used to getting hit on that they have "don't count" and "count" categories. Us men count it all because we wouldn't have much to discuss otherwise

[Southern Cal Dude]

I don't recall saying I get 0 attention, if it came off that way it certainly was uninentional. Yes, about once or twice a month I get the odd catcall or grizzled old man acting frisky. But they're not "options" and they're not "dateable". None of it helps me actually getting a date

 

 

My problem is that I do not get approached by normal men who want dates.

 

 

I've definitely discussed it several times with others on this forum that when you're counting how often you get approached for a date, the homeless man accosting me does not count.

 

 

That's where you're wrong. It is an option and it does count. Doesn't matter if he's homeless, has no teeth, served in the same prison as Scott Peterson. They are options, regardless of whether you find them desirable.