AlliceInWL Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I have a guy friend that I've know for about 8 years now. We met in college, dated for a little bit, and then decided it wouldn't work (we were both young). Over the years, we've become really good friends. We can talk about anything with each other, and he has given me advice on every relationship I've had since I met him. He's always really flirty (although he's really flirty in general) and often brings up things from when we dated. A few years ago, we were chatting one night and I told him that I have always loved him - just laid it all on the table - and he said although I am "sooo cute and fun," he didn't feel the same way and he wished he did. What I don't understand is how he can not feel the same way, but now wants to see me. We've lived far away from each other for about 7 years now and have only seen each other a couple times throughout. It would have been really hard to try to make a relationship work being so far apart. But I will be moving soon for my new job, and since I've told him about it, he's been talking to me a lot more and about seeing me/kissing me. I've told him multiple times that I would not be OK with seeing each other and being physical (in any way, even if it's just kissing) if that's all it would be. Could he still be just interested in hooking up or is it possible that he does have feelings for me, but didn't want to say it a few years ago? Would it be a good idea to see him again?
coachcomeback Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Hi Alice. So much time has passed that anything is possible now. Even if back then he says he did not see you that way, chances are he could see you completely different now. All the experiences he has had over time probably have shifted his views of what is important to him. Also, he was able to watch you grow and shift over the years as well. He is probably seeing things in you that he didn't see before. I say have a good ol' heart to heart chat with him and "lay it all out there" once again. Good luck
ChessPieceFace Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I've told him multiple times that I would not be OK with seeing each other and being physical (in any way, even if it's just kissing) if that's all it would be. Could he still be just interested in hooking up or is it possible that he does have feelings for me, but didn't want to say it a few years ago? Would it be a good idea to see him again? If a girl said she really liked me and I really liked her, I can't imagine saying I didn't. I can't speak for most guys since I don't believe in cheap sex. But I can say that I have female friends whom I find attractive and respect, that I'm not really into but I wouldn't be opposed to going on dates just to see if anything is kindled. It could be that. Maybe he wants to try things out and see if romance develops. Or maybe he's a pig looking to "get some." Who knows.
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