AcaciaStrain Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Girlfriend of 6 months text me last night saying "Yeah just waiting for bus. Some guy just asked for my number. Thought id share. X". Is this a red flag or shall I just laugh it off. She's text me before saying that guys have been hitting on ect. What is it she's trying to achieve from this
melodymatters Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 She could be trying to make you jealous. She could feel like you don't appreciate her enough and she wants to remind you that others find her attractive. Or, she could feel almost guilty ( not that she should ) so she wants you to know. The third is the silliest but I've found myself doing it before ! 4
DelusionalOne Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 She feels like she isn't getting enough attention/appreciation from you. If it continues, at some point you'll be calling her your "ex-girlfriend".
Author AcaciaStrain Posted July 6, 2013 Author Posted July 6, 2013 That's weird. I always give her attention, just got back from a holiday I took her on. Been with her most of this week and always saying she's gorgeous. Women are very hard to understand lol.
spice4life Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Don't beat around the shrub and just call her on it. If the only way she knows how to communicate is by pricking you to test your reaction then she has major communication problems. An emotionally mature person would tell you how they are feeling and deal with the issue honestly. It's up to you whether or not you want to tolerate immature passive agressive behavior.
JustAReformedGirl Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I'm not sure I agree with what most posters are saying; this might not be a bid for attention or a power play at all. She might just be letting you know, so that you know you can trust her in these situations. I know, it seems unnecessary, but that could be her viewpoint. If she's anything like me, she's not used to guys hitting on her (no matter how frequently it might be occurring now) and might be finding it somewhat unnerving and humorous. This is usually true if she wasn't always considered "attractive" by conventional standards. IME, anyway. 5
BetrayedH Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Tough to say from such a short text but I tend to agree with RD on this one. My guess is that she's disclosing this kind of thing to demonstrate that she's not hiding anything from you. She's demonstrating that she can be trusted and is probably hoping that you would act in a similar fashion. I would openly ask her. Being able to communicate with her is pretty critical. Just tell her you were a little confused about why she told you she had been hit on and it left you wondering if her intent was to leave you jealous or reassured. 1
spice4life Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I'm not sure I agree with what most posters are saying; this might not be a bid for attention or a power play at all. She might just be letting you know, so that you know you can trust her in these situations. I know, it seems unnecessary, but that could be her viewpoint. If she's anything like me, she's not used to guys hitting on her (no matter how frequently it might be occurring now) and might be finding it somewhat unnerving and humorous. This is usually true if she wasn't always considered "attractive" by conventional standards. IME, anyway. Good point. I admit I may be a little jaded in my view sometimes due to certain experiences. However, my point stands in the fact that good honest communication could clear this up in one second. For instance, all AcaciaStrain has to do is ask her to clarify why she sent that message and tell her straight up that it confused him and he is not sure what her intention was in sending it in the first place. AcaciaStrain, if you are confused by her message you need to tell her so and ask her directly to clarify what she meant. All we can do is speculate about her intentions; the only person who really knows is her. So, go ask her! 2
JustAReformedGirl Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Good point. I admit I may be a little jaded in my view sometimes due to certain experiences. However, my point stands in the fact that good honest communication could clear this up in one second. For instance, all AcaciaStrain has to do is ask her to clarify why she sent that message and tell her straight up that it confused him and he is not sure what her intention was in sending it in the first place. AcaciaStrain, if you are confused by her message you need to tell her so and ask her directly to clarify what she meant. All we can do is speculate about her intentions; the only person who really knows is her. So, go ask her! Likewise, I agree with you and BetrayedH that open, honest communication on the matter will certainly help. If he asks her what her intentions were, it will help to clear up any misunderstandings, and they can remove that particular stumbling block from popping up in the future...hopefully, at any rate. And it's alright; we all draw from our experiences, even when we aim to be objective. I can't be sure that OP's gf is anything like me, but if she is, I can see why she did it.
spice4life Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Likewise, I agree with you and BetrayedH that open, honest communication on the matter will certainly help. If he asks her what her intentions were, it will help to clear up any misunderstandings, and they can remove that particular stumbling block from popping up in the future...hopefully, at any rate. And it's alright; we all draw from our experiences, even when we aim to be objective. I can't be sure that OP's gf is anything like me, but if she is, I can see why she did it. Yep. And the only person who knows is her. As he can see there are a few different possibilities, but he won't know for sure unless he asks her. I am a firm believer in that due to my own experiences as well. I learned this the hard way. I had a woman stalking me online before and she would post things to prick me and get under my skin and I would react when I had enough. It turns out she was doing it on purpose because she wanted to keep a wedge between me and someone I was with at the time. It took me a while to figure out who it was and I thought it was the person I was with at first and took it out on him. This is where my jaded view comes in sometimes and I have to step back before reacting with speculations - I'm still learning though and it's a process. Now when I have someone in my life I get clarification, so there are NO misunderstandings. Period end. If I have a question about a communication I no longer torture myself with speculation - I ask! This probably makes no sense at all, lol. Anyway, with that said, I'm out for now and off to start my vacation. Have a great summer everyone! 1
So happy together Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I'm not sure I agree with what most posters are saying; this might not be a bid for attention or a power play at all. She might just be letting you know, so that you know you can trust her in these situations. I know, it seems unnecessary, but that could be her viewpoint. If she's anything like me, she's not used to guys hitting on her (no matter how frequently it might be occurring now) and might be finding it somewhat unnerving and humorous. This is usually true if she wasn't always considered "attractive" by conventional standards. IME, anyway. My bf and I laugh at this stuff all the time. If someone hits on me I'll text him and say something silly, he'll do likewise. It's just a joke to us because we are not insecure in our relationship. She could just be acting silly, next time she does it say something sweet to her like the fact that she is beautiful and you're not surprised at all. 1
WakingUp Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Maybe she was tired of waiting for the bus and wanted you to come and get her. 1
Damia Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Your post is in the OM/OW forum do you also have a wife? If you do my guess is its her way of pointing out she has other options too. 1
Recommended Posts