lailax3 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 So I broke NC after seeing my ex. I was in a restaurant with my friends, we were seated by full length glass windows. A back entrance to the mall was situated opposite me, from where he entered. My friends saw him first, I only saw him until he had walked past. I text him last night, saying it was 'unexpected to have seen you and next time say hello as I don't bite hope you had a great birthday.' I didn't get a reply. I don't feel disappointed or foolish. I don't think it's given an impression I'm pining for him or want him back. If anything, I believe it shows I hold no grudges even though it was him who disappeared from me. When my ex's message me after a break up, either straight away or after a few months, I have responded. Maybe this guy holds ill feelings towards me so acts oblivious towards me. I know strict followers of NC are probably rolling their eyes at me, but I did what I wanted to do so I can't regret it. It's my first experience as a dumpee so I'm gonna make these mistakes until I learn.
halaluyaa Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I know NC is something for you to move on and get better but I totally understand you. I'm fighting with the urge of not writing to my ex girlfriend. I always thing, seriously, what would I lose? I still have feelings and I just want to share with her and let her know. I don't care if she laughes, I don't care if she doesn't respond. At least I will be relaxed. You did what you felt is right. He hasn't responded you? Okay. Now you feel okay and you can go on with your NC fully. No regrets.
Author lailax3 Posted July 6, 2013 Author Posted July 6, 2013 I know NC is something for you to move on and get better but I totally understand you. I'm fighting with the urge of not writing to my ex girlfriend. I always thing, seriously, what would I lose? I still have feelings and I just want to share with her and let her know. I don't care if she laughes, I don't care if she doesn't respond. At least I will be relaxed. You did what you felt is right. He hasn't responded you? Okay. Now you feel okay and you can go on with your NC fully. No regrets. Well I did get a response a hour ago. Just a mere one worder 'thanks.' I agree no contact is a healing tool but I also believe breaking it isn't the end of the world. Sometimes breaking the urge is a great feeling, and continues yo stay great even if the response or lack of response is futile.
BC1980 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 It does give the impression you are still hung up on him. I'm not saying you are, but that is what he sees. Because you thought and cared enough to write the text. To him, that is shows you care more, and the one who cares more has the least power.
Author lailax3 Posted July 6, 2013 Author Posted July 6, 2013 It does give the impression you are still hung up on him. I'm not saying you are, but that is what he sees. Because you thought and cared enough to write the text. To him, that is shows you care more, and the one who cares more has the least power. I understand your viewpoint. But I don't think anyone has more power or less power, unless I believed NC or breaking it was a manipulation game or something.
Simon Phoenix Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Meh, seemed kind of worthless to do it, but whatever.
LostGirl11 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Well I did get a response a hour ago. Just a mere one worder 'thanks.' I agree no contact is a healing tool but I also believe breaking it isn't the end of the world. Sometimes breaking the urge is a great feeling, and continues yo stay great even if the response or lack of response is futile. Yeah, nothing good has come from this, but nothing bad has come from it either. I wouldn't text back and forth now, just leave it be. His response could have been better but whatever
BC1980 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I understand your viewpoint. But I don't think anyone has more power or less power, unless I believed NC or breaking it was a manipulation game or something. Good. As long as you did not do it to get him back or play games. As long as his indifference doesn't bother you that much.
aloneinaz Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Relationships are odd.. It's so striking to be in a committed relationship one day where they are your best friend, lover, go to person, share everything with to the next when they are an ex and the communication stops... Very odd.. To the OP, you did what you FELT was right. If my ex who ended are relationship, telling me she didn't want me in her life anymore, to be her friend or lover. If she walked by me, I'd of ignored her ass. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction to let her know I even thought of her for a second.. You don't want me in your life? Your wish is my command! 2
LostGirl11 Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 Relationships are odd.. It's so striking to be in a committed relationship one day where they are your best friend, lover, go to person, share everything with to the next when they are an ex and the communication stops... Very odd.. To the OP, you did what you FELT was right. If my ex who ended are relationship, telling me she didn't want me in her life anymore, to be her friend or lover. If she walked by me, I'd of ignored her ass. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction to let her know I even thought of her for a second.. You don't want me in your life? Your wish is my command! It's quite sad how easily people can walk into our lives and make a dramatic change, then walk out again. Gone. Done. This always upsets me. But thats life I guess. 1
BC1980 Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 It's quite sad how easily people can walk into our lives and make a dramatic change, then walk out again. Gone. Done. This always upsets me. But thats life I guess. That's so true. One day, this person is your best friend. A few months later, it feels like you don't even know them. 1
LostGirl11 Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 That's so true. One day, this person is your best friend. A few months later, it feels like you don't even know them. It's a bit of a mind **** isn't it. I guess they have to walk out so another person can walk in.... Wish that thought could cheer me up but it won't....yet.
aloneinaz Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 (edited) That's so true. One day, this person is your best friend. A few months later, it feels like you don't even know them. But, I think the realization that the dumper was probably checking out of the relationship, emotionally and even physically before doing the dumping makes it more comprehendible. It still leaves the dumpee shocked even though if we were honest w/ourselves, we saw it coming. My ex was giving mixed messages the last two months. Her words didn't match up to her actions. I wasn't happy either but I wasn't to the point of ending it. She demonstrated all the classic signs of losing interest. Less time spent together, less sex, cuddling, hand holding, etc. I should of ended it looking back but she's going to have to live w/what an a-hole she was the last few months to a guy that was nothing but great to her and her kids. Edited July 7, 2013 by aloneinaz
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