noideawhoiam Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I've been on this forum long time but never posted or even had an account. I feel the urge to get some help. My ex broke up with me couple of months ago. That hurt me so much. I loved her so badly, and she said she doesn't love me anymore etc. Anyway, one day she told me she had a secret she need to tell me and she told me her ex put taped her sex while doing it and blackmailed it on her and she felt awful even thought of killing herself. I'm still not over my ex and lastnight I was checking on her social media and saw how happy she is while i am depressed and can't even leave my bed. I just lost my mind that moment and created a face profile and told her I'm a hacker and I have her sex tape. I will put it on internet and also send it to her family and friends. She didn't reply and even blocked this fake account from facebook. I couldn't sleep lastnight thinking about this. It was just awful what I did. No matter what she put me through noone deserves something like that. In the morning I sent her a text from skype ( so she can't see who sends it ) and told her it was just a joke from one of her friends but I won't tell his/her name. And still nothing. But I think I hurt or made her scared lastnight even though she wrote me nothing. Do you guys think I should do something about it? I feel like I should call her from real number and at least tell her I love her and I miss her. So she may see I'm with her and she may feel better? Feeling so bad.
Talulah Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Holy crap! that is horrible! she confided something in you and you used it against her. Shame on you..don't ever date anyone again.
Author noideawhoiam Posted July 6, 2013 Author Posted July 6, 2013 Holy crap! that is horrible! she confided something in you and you used it against her. Shame on you..don't ever date anyone again. I really feel awful because of it man. I know she doesn't know it is me. But I wish there is a way to make her feel better. I have never done something like that before. I regret it so much and I hate myself. I really hope she felt relaxed after I wrote it was a joke but I know it brought up her bad memories about that situation. I feel horrible. What can I do? How can I make her feel better?
Sneaky Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Probably by leaving her alone. I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to hear from you after that, harsh but true.
Author noideawhoiam Posted July 6, 2013 Author Posted July 6, 2013 Probably by leaving her alone. I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to hear from you after that, harsh but true. Why? She doesn't know it is me. If it was me she would contact me or block me from everywhere, I know it.
veggirl Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Ugh. What was your goal in doing this? She prob knows it was you and thinks you're psycho. If you randomly contact her now she will DEF know it was you and think you're psycho. So leave her alone. Only a jaded ex would do something like this. No friend would. She doersnt for one second believe it was a friend, guaranteed. She knows it was you.
Author noideawhoiam Posted July 6, 2013 Author Posted July 6, 2013 Ugh. What was your goal in doing this? She prob knows it was you and thinks you're psycho. If you randomly contact her now she will DEF know it was you and think you're psycho. So leave her alone. Only a jaded ex would do something like this. No friend would. She doersnt for one second believe it was a friend, guaranteed. She knows it was you. I was just so depressed seeing her moving on and felt really bad and just lost it. And I regret it so much. Also, I wake up at 6am every morning for work, and I was last seen on whatsapp at 10pm as everyday usual. And these messages delivered to her between at 1 to 3 am. Maybe she think it was me but I don't think she knows it. I think there is nothing I can do besides leaving her alone. I hate myself.
Ordinaryday Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 We all do and say bad things post break up, don't think too much about it. Don't contact her or do anything at all, just let it go. If she contacts you and asks of you did flat out lie, and act offended that she would think you would do such a thing. Love can be a battle, play dirty
Author noideawhoiam Posted July 6, 2013 Author Posted July 6, 2013 We all do and say bad things post break up, don't think too much about it. Don't contact her or do anything at all, just let it go. If she contacts you and asks of you did flat out lie, and act offended that she would think you would do such a thing. Love can be a battle, play dirty I really love her damn much man. I guess that is the reason I just lost it. I lost the perfect girl and she is never coming back, and while she is soooo happy, I just wanted to hit her from the weakest part of hers and made her feel bad one last time. And I did made her feel terrible, because I saw her new pic from yesterday and her eye were all purple. I guess she cried all night. I really hate myself, wish I never done that. It is not worth it. Seriously I lost trust in me. Who am I? Who am I becoming? Why do I love her so much? And if I love her so much why did I want to hurt her? Doesn't make sense? Ah, I just want to hug her and tell her everything will be okay. I felt horrible when I saw her eye all big and purple. Ah, stupid me !
It-is-what-it-is. Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I was just so depressed seeing her moving on and felt really bad and just lost it. And I regret it so much. Maybe she think it was me but I don't think she knows it. I think there is nothing I can do besides leaving her alone. I hate myself. I believe with all my heart that when you do something horrible you must apologize without excuse and without expectation of forgiveness. Until you do that you cannot forgive yourself. You also need to find out why you lash out and use people's weakness when you are hurt. Call her and tell her that you did it and you are mortified by your behavior and devastated by the pain it must have caused her. You are not asking for forgiveness because you don't deserve it. You want her to be able to know that it isn't true and that she doesn't need to worry anymore. Wish her all the happiness and then be a man and leave her alone. Get a therapist and work on your coping skills. 1
theonlyjuan Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 You should tell her it was you. Before you get in another relationship, sort yourself out a bit. You can't do things like this
BC1980 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 All of this reinforces why you need to go NC and leave this girl alone. Doing what you did is making you feel terrible, so what was the point? Now you want to call her? That will make things worse. She will likely find out it was you who did this since you admitted you knew about it. I would go NC before she finds out, so you won't even have to know.
TaraMaiden Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Why? She doesn't know it is me. If it was me she would contact me or block me from everywhere, I know it. Of course she knows it was you!! Anyway, one day she told me she had a secret she need to tell me and she told me her ex put taped her sex while doing it and blackmailed it on her and she felt awful even thought of killing herself. So if it was such a secret, a girl will only tell someone she truly trusts. And if she's told more than one person, it can't be many. And it wouldn't take much for her, by a process of elimination, to know who would do something like that, because they must have an axe to grind.... So I'm pretty sure she knows exactly who it was.
omit Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Look I am going to sound harsh, "She said she doesn't love you any more" that's it mate done. Nothing you can do you need to try to cope take small steps forward. The main part to these small steps is no contact. Her view of you sounds like its changed so telling her you love here is not going to help. No more anonymous texts over Skype. Happens to us all mate some times more than once all you can do is look after you and let it go.
SimonSerenade Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 That is a horrible thing to do, despite every cruel thing my ex has ever said and done, I couldn't do that to her, I can understand the motives as messed up as they may be, I'm sure at some point we all want to do something messed up to hurt the people who caused us unbearable pain but going through with it isn't an option, give it time and you'll forgive yourself for it some day, we all mess up at one point or another, it's human nature, unless this girl contacts you and asks you about it, don't say a single word and avoid her like the plague, chances are she has a hunch that it's you, just be grateful she hasn't said anything.
omit Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I think he gets what he's done is wrong, but we need the OP to start looking at the broader horizon on this one. Sounds like it was over any way.
adelia Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 what a despicable thing to do and one thing not mentioned is you could get a hefty fine or go to jail for such an act. there are laws for such crimes. id confess, apologise and get some help for yourself before you get yourself in trouble. its a sad day people feel the need to lash out that way after a break up. ruining someones life is a horrible way to hurt someone. think before you act on something you can never take back. just wrong..
forgetmenot75 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 You are lucky if she doesn't call the police or pursued an investigation. I don't have enough words to say how disgusted I am reading you. And I have to admit, if you're capable of such acts, she's lucky to not be with you anymore. I'd confes and immediately go no contact. Anyway , I'm sure she knows who he was, so confessing will make you feel a little more at peace.
Chi townD Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Dude, she knows it was you. She told you a secret which means only a few people or only maybe JUST YOU know what that secret is. The line of suspects is pretty thin...
fancy feast Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Own up to it, apologize, and accept the consequences.
Author noideawhoiam Posted July 6, 2013 Author Posted July 6, 2013 I know i did a terrible thing and wont do it agaîn. Just lost it. Also 4 hours later i sent her a text that i am sorry and it was a stupid joke. So she knows it is not true. I really hate myself and i already seen a shrink about it today. I will fix mysef. Thanks for the posts and ideas.
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