archiep Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 okay i have been an idiot. Basically went on holiday with girlfriend and on first night we had a row. Not a common thing as we never had that many, just unfortunate it was first night of holiday. Anyway one thing led to another and altough it wasnt violent or anything else she ended up getting another room for that night to calm things down. The following day i was peed off cos she had got another room but also ashamed cos i could see that i had really caused the argument (no fault of hers, just some things on my mind at home), so i stayed out of her way and didnt answer her texts. Now i remember saying through drunkeness the night before that it was over and i was going home, stupid i know. She took this at face value, was scared and decided to go home herself. So that was result, she came home on 2nd day. I was totally distraught for making her leave and out of m mind at what she must have gone through on the journey home. Anyway that was 5 weeks ago. When i got home i did nothing but apologise, probably too much really, cos have now come over as being a bit of a pest to say the least. In the first week she said she was too angry to speak to me. Since then she has said she cannot decide if she still wants the realtionship, and when i have asked outright on several occasions is it over, she has said she does not know yet, only repeating on several occasions that she needs space We have met once in that time, last week and she again said she did not know. What she did say was that if she didnt think there was any chance with us she would definately tell me its over. Now the waiting is really hurting. I could understand her wanting to end it, and would accept it, but the confusion is why she is taking all this time and if its over why does she not tell me so i know where i stand. Am i being too impatient ? If she has no intention of coming back, surely it would be kinder to let me know rather than keeping my hanging on 5 weeks ? Or is it a sign that she may come back given time- i.e surely she would not keep me hanging so long then decide to tell me it is over after all ? I have a feeling that i havent helped by keep pestering her for an answer. I have only really left her in the last week not texting or contacting her with my worries and questions, the other first four week i was on to her nearly every other day. But i thought that the longer you leave it the harder it is to get back, and now am wondering if 5 weeks just is TOO long for her to come to a decision. Is she likely to come back, or are the signs not good ? So many things going through my head thats its difficult to see the light here. im even getting paranoid there may be someone else, and have confronted her with question a couple of times but she nearly blew up and reacted badly the first time and second time she refused to answer saying she was offended even by the question. We have been together 7 months and she really is the love of my life. She has said even since we got back that she loves me and misses me, but all this time away just makes me insecure that maybe she doesnt miss me that much
bluechocolate Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 That must have been some argument! If, as you say, you rarely argue, it's difficult to understand why she would storm off like that. Were you overtly aggressive or something? Given that alcohol was involved I would have thought that in the morning people would have been thinking a little clearer. Anyway, as I mentioned, that must have been some kind of argument. Are you sure there isn't more to her wanting this break? Again, it's difficult to understand why someone would react so strongly after one argument. so i stayed out of her way and didnt answer her texts That was dumb. You should have answered her texts - you may have been able to salvage your holiday & possibly your relationship. It sounds like she reached out first & you ignored her. Is that the case? Is she likely to come back, or are the signs not good ? Hard to say. If she really wants to be with you I would have thought she could have made up her mind by now. Either that or she's playing games with you - getting some "pay-back", as it were. If she has no intention of coming back, surely it would be kinder to let me know rather than keeping my hanging on 5 weeks ? I agree. Only you can decide how long you are willing to wait. In the meantime I would leave her alone & try to carry on as if it's over.
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