Ordinaryday Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Back in 2002, when I was 18, I briefly dated a girl for a few months, before she coldly and cruelly dumped me for someone else. She did it in a rather nasty way, and while I have been over her for a long time I have never 'forgiven' her. I think that is a common misconception regarding really bad relationships. People say that you will get 'over' it one day, and while you may stop pining and obsessing over them, you may not ever reach a stage where you forgive them. I certainly haven't forgiven her, and I never will. Anyway, the breadcrumb was sent through Facebook, she basically sent me a short message asking how I was, if I remembered her (as if you EVER forget something like that), telling me that she is now married with three kids and asking how my life is right now. She also said 'hope you didn't think too badly about how I acted when we broke up, kids will do stupid things haha'. I'm not going to respond but she will know I read her message cos she will be able to view the 'seen' icon on fb. Wow, just hearing from her after 11 years really annoys me! Sometimes the best thing the dumper can do is to leave you alone forever, sending breadcrumbs even after so many years can be really insensitive! Have you ever had this happen to you?
for666 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 are you idiot? its no breadcrumbs its noting! its past 11 year she is defrant than what you used to know she is much more mature and what you hate ones isnt what she is now! you need to stop the hate she is not the person you hate she is someone totalyyy els now THINK of it 11 year you are totally defrant now 2! so stop the funny respond her nice and forgive her man 11 year dam i forgive people after 1 year cos thay change in 1 year alot 2.. my age 20-30 3
Exitleft Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Be careful there, she is probably bored and looking for an ego boost that is something to avoid at all costs. A married woman with 3 children doesn't need to look for someone from 11 years ago. I say block and delete 4
for666 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 wow didt see it now until exil sad it he's wright something is wrong 11 year she need'd to f forget you for **** know why the f dose she even contact you hu the f are you? a god? are you now hot rich and a rock star next to her **** FAT ass not good for noting husband and f fat little kids?
Bozena Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 At these days FB connects people. In any case I wonder how you still remember her and you keep those ill feelings for her saying: "like I could forget someone who did this". I mean it is 11 years after and she was a child as she told you herself. Personally I don't have feelings of remembering anyone of my exes except those that we are on friendly terms and my latest exes. But to remember someone with such ill heart 11 years after. what to say... as of her I agree with the ego boost but she might just added you just to say hi or because she didn't want to think the way you think of her
forgetmenot75 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 :S Haha omg you really need therapy, that's no breadcrumb at all. Why aren't you replying to her??? Crazy people on here...
forgetmenot75 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Be careful there, she is probably bored and looking for an ego boost that is something to avoid at all costs. A married woman with 3 children doesn't need to look for someone from 11 years ago. I say block and delete She's being friendly, do you think she wants to leave her husband and kids for this man she dumped 11 years ago?? I too contacted a lot of people from my past, just curiosity, not because I want to start any relationship with them 1
Ashlaria Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I think Exitleft is right. She is probably bored and looking for some excitement. No one is suggesting she is going to leave her husband and kids, just that she is looking for some cheap thrills at someone else's expense. If you really feel so strongly about how she behaved, wrote back and tell her. Tell her what she did and how it made you feel. Saying she was just a kid isn't an excuse and the fact she didn't bother apologising show a complete lack of class. Personally I wouldn't bother replying, I'd just block her and move on. Life's too short, get out and enjoy yourself!
Exitleft Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 She's being friendly, do you think she wants to leave her husband and kids for this man she dumped 11 years ago?? I too contacted a lot of people from my past, just curiosity, not because I want to start any relationship with them Can't say but I do think it may be more trouble than it's worth. He did the right thing to leave it imo.
marqueemoon4 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Wow, this is so easy. "I'm doing great! Hope you are well" Then never think of her again. 3
AlexDP Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 No one here is going to say the obvious? She's bored and wants an affair.
Simon Phoenix Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Who cares, it was 11 years ago. Let bygones be bygones. Nothing to get worked up about.
flitzanu Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 have you dated a girl SINCE this girl dumped you after dating you for a FEW MONTHS? i'm guessing no one is considering that she might just be trying to actually apologize now that she's matured and realized that she didn't handle the situation very well. i DON'T think that after 11 years, and dating "a few months" that this girl even has the slightest notion of ego boost or having an affair, that's just kinda stupid. if you dated for years and were engaged or something, or decided she was "the one" after a very long relationship, then yes, i'd consider something unusual, but in this case...no. she was being friendly. and if she messaged you, i'm assuming that means you added her as a friend, otherwise her message would end up in your "other" folder and you wouldn't see it unless you check those every single day... 1
forgetmenot75 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 No one here is going to say the obvious? She's bored and wants an affair. Yeah? You think so? Like if a woman has no other options besides a lover she dumped 11 years ago. Nah, she's being friendly, nothing more than that. however, Ordinaryday still has some unresolved issues with her and thinks this is a breadcrumb and he should ignore her. so weird :S 1
forgetmenot75 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 OMG, this thread is actually hilarious, it made my day! Hey guys, I have a problem here, a guy who dumped me 20 years ago while I was in high school just sent me a Facebook request...Do you think it's a breadcrumb? I'll ignore him, to see if he pursues me more!! Just a joke
dumPI Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 A friend got dumped when he was 18 by a girl of the same age. 13 years later he is still single and got a message from her. Now she has two kids and is divorced. He started by deleting the messages without reading them, over time he started reading them then started answering, then they started chatting, then the feelings (from his side, the dumpee) came back and they've been dating for one year and she says she can't live without him. Do you think her first text was: "I want to get back"? To me he is trading down but as he is too lazy to even go out and date in the real world, he is stuck with a fantasy that happened 13 years ago and which now comes with the full package (kids + divorce) ...
mtnbiker3000 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 A friend got dumped when he was 18 by a girl of the same age. 13 years later he is still single and got a message from her. Now she has two kids and is divorced. He started by deleting the messages without reading them, over time he started reading them then started answering, then they started chatting, then the feelings (from his side, the dumpee) came back and they've been dating for one year and she says she can't live without him. Do you think her first text was: "I want to get back"? To me he is trading down but as he is too lazy to even go out and date in the real world, he is stuck with a fantasy that happened 13 years ago and which now comes with the full package (kids + divorce) ... Exactly why social media can be down-right damaging. These two people should have never been in contact again. Too easy to click and see what else is out there or what may come back from the past. Hope it just goes away
Jono85 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 :S Haha omg you really need therapy, that's no breadcrumb at all. Why aren't you replying to her??? Crazy people on here... why does the guy HAVE to reply to her?? i know it's from 11 years ago, but why does he have to engage in this petty small talk? like really what is the purpose of this girls msg?? just to say "hi" or more likely, she had a moment of reflection and realized she treated this guy like dirt at the end of their relationship, and wants to feel better about herself and make sure he sees her in a better light, etc. i mean i can't imagine still having ill feelings about someone from 11 years ago, but at the same time, a part of me right now (having not ever been in those shoes) feels i'd just ignore. A. she doesn't really deserve that good feeling, and B. what's the point? "hi how are you" "great you?" "awesome" ".........". where is this going to go? it sounds stupid to me.
forgetmenot75 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 why does the guy HAVE to reply to her?? i know it's from 11 years ago, but why does he have to engage in this petty small talk? like really what is the purpose of this girls msg?? just to say "hi" or more likely, she had a moment of reflection and realized she treated this guy like dirt at the end of their relationship, and wants to feel better about herself and make sure he sees her in a better light, etc. i mean i can't imagine still having ill feelings about someone from 11 years ago, but at the same time, a part of me right now (having not ever been in those shoes) feels i'd just ignore. A. she doesn't really deserve that good feeling, and B. what's the point? "hi how are you" "great you?" "awesome" ".........". where is this going to go? it sounds stupid to me. What I wanted to mean is that ultimately, it's no big deal whether he replies or not. Who cares, really. He might have some feelings for her and wanted to say "hi" back, as a friendly thing, or he just ignore her.
Exitleft Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 It may be friendly, that is not the problem. The point is we all look people from our past romantic or not up online when we are bored, just out of curiosity. And let's not pretend every married person and their affair partner always plotted and schemed to fall into an emotional affair, these things happen and these sorts of things usually open the door. He's doing the best thing to leave it.
mutant Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 She was 18 back then and now she's 29, for ***k's sake you should forgive her. Don't reply the message there's nothing positive that can come out of it. She will see that you read it and didn't reply, and that's a good thing. she'll probably think you forgot her and won't contact you further. Seriously man forgive her, but don't contact her.
Bozena Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 What I wanted to mean is that ultimately, it's no big deal whether he replies or not. Who cares, really. He might have some feelings for her and wanted to say "hi" back, as a friendly thing, or he just ignore her. well I agree that she is just trying to be friendly or something and it might not want an ego boost but you never know what is going on out there. I have a lot of guys that remembered me 11 years after. And yes the introduction was something like: Hi, I was terrible with you back then how are you? And then since I had already forgot it, they asked me to go out etc. Of course I am a woman and the return for sex come back is usual but you never know how the other one is thinking
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