It-is-what-it-is. Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Ok, fair enough. But if you need to be sad, be sad, or mad or whatever it's all good. You really seem like a nice man. I know you will be ok. I know it. Your Mom is a doll too. Keep posting
Simon Phoenix Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Not much to add, only that NC is for you and you only. She didn't break NC because she's not the one going NC, you are. You are the only one who can break your No Contact. And she wants to use you as a safety blanket to get over you. She doesn't regret the decision, she just wants to have the emotional support you'd provide while she gets to do what she wants. Don't allow it. 1
Author leafguy Posted July 8, 2013 Author Posted July 8, 2013 So much for a decent sleep 2 hours and stomach churns. My mom is a doll for helping so much with this. And your right, I could have ignored the texts and maybe I would have been better off today. Im going back to NC tomorrow and will hopefully get back on my own path since she knows Im still in love with her. I don't want to be a shoulder for her if she has no intentions of coming back. As far as what to do next, Im not sure. I just dont see how her reaching out to contact me is going to get her over it either. Maybe because this is just foreign to me in terms of the fact I haven't been in this position ever before, so Im not sure how to react to it. Maybe there is that part of me in my heart that is still leading me with false hope that I need to ignore. Im not sure at this point right now. Need more time to clear that up.
itto ogami Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 She's selfish. And notice that when you responded, she said her text was "a mistake" -- meaning that if you had stayed NC the result now would be the same except you wouldn't be frazzled trying to suss out her text. She misses you and is confused. She will likely reach out again. But the ONLY WAY she will come back to you for a second chance is if you go NO CONTACT. Until she flat out states, "I want you back. Can we talk?" Then you can make that decision. She needs to miss you completely in order to process your exit from her life. And as stated, it's a win-win for you. You just go forward.
Author leafguy Posted July 8, 2013 Author Posted July 8, 2013 I think knowing she misses me is a win for me, but I think you guys are right. I am up again writing because I wake up with an accelerated heart rate thinking of her. And I would bet money that she reaches out again soon. I mean she did already and it was less than 2 days. All it did was make me reconsider my stance of NC and get me completely screwed up in the head again, intentional or not, it has set me back a bit. I need to calm down and look at the bigger picture right now and worry about myself. Shes not around and I cant worry if she is or isnt. I still believe she will come back, but I have to move forward without her.
Author leafguy Posted July 8, 2013 Author Posted July 8, 2013 So Im spending a few minutes to rant before work. I slept ok the last few hours, but still woke up with a tight chest. I am leaving my phone in the car today so it will be out of sight and hopefully for the most part out of mind. Going to try and go NC again today and get back to where I was yesterday before the mess of an afternoon. Hope my focus is ok.
It-is-what-it-is. Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Sorry you had another rough night. It will get better if you keep NC. The previous posters are right, contact helps her (woobie) but guts you (kryptonite), You cannot approach this like you are just waiting for her to come back. First and most importantly,cause it will leave you in pain so much longer, it will prevent your healing; and second call it games, or human nature, she will not feel your loss until you have clearly begun to move on. Take care of yourself
Author leafguy Posted July 10, 2013 Author Posted July 10, 2013 Hey everyone, Sorry for the no reply for a couple of days. I emailed her on Sunday night to try and figure out why she texted. I was a bit nasty because apparently she was genuine in that she was asking if I wanted NC and to be without her. She got the email at work, and texted me she broke down. Her coworker / friend called me and asked what happened. I told her that for the last few months she has been distant and apparently she felt the same way. She sent a reply and told me she never wanted to end things this way and never thought they would. I told her about the mixed messages received and we sort of reconciled, gonna take things slow. Both our guards are up, but I would consider us together. Lots of hugging, kissing and even some joking around for the hour and a half we talked. Tomorrow she should be coming over and hopefully it will be the start of returning to normalcy. I still view her as the one and I for sure want to get it back to a point where I can call her my fiancee again.
flitzanu Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 tread lightly my friend, and best wishes. you know we're all here for you.
It-is-what-it-is. Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 Make sure you guys discuss and resolve the emotional affair/distance issue as a coping mechanism or else you will be going through this six months or a year from now. You both should read "Not Just Friends" I really hope you can pull through.
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