Does NC work if she knows you are doing to get over her?

[slowday]

Hi. I was dating a girl long distance – as in different continents – I travel there for work. I got clingy and was thinking children and marriage (after only 15 months – i know) and she went distant, i got desperate, she dumped me. I did about three weeks of no contact, then she messaged me about work and I acknowledged her question. Then she told me she would be in a country where i was going for a meeting and asked me to bring something I had bought for her (with her money) while we were together. So, I got there and she suggests dinner and i go all strong trying to persuade her to come back. We had a good evening – friendly and laughing but she still said no. So, fine, i shouldn’t have had dinner with her. Then she sends a whatsapp message to me meant for her current boyfriend, usual sweet nothings, confirming she is in a relationship (which she was denying). I got this late at night and i resisted asking her about it. We went out for dinner with friends on another night and it ended with a small fight cos I kept on bringing up the breakup (i was hurting). Then after a week apart we had dinner last night (in her home city) and it was light and pleasant until she said something about, oh you’re my friend so we need to sit in the light so you don’t misbehave, friends don’t do that. I said, well am not sure I am or could be your friend. She looked shocked but I said I didn’t want to talk about so we carried on talking - mainly about what had happened at work since we were together - but in a very close way, just like we would have if we had been together. All the while she is tapping my shoulder and leaving her hand on mine in the same way she used to when we were dating. At the end of dinner she said, so why can’t you be my friend. So I explained that it seemed she had moved on (and she confirmed it) and i thought she had someone else (which she now refused to deny or confirm, saying I shouldn’t hurt myself by thinking about that) and that I did not want to be the guy who sat in the wings with his heart in his throat while she was happy with someone else. I said I was being selfish but I needed space. I said i wanted her as a girlfriend but was not ready just to be a friend. I said if she was happy (to which I got a small nod) then I needed to leave for my own sake. When she dropped me off at my hotel i said we would be friends in the future – to which she responded – you know how to get hold of me and i said – you know how to get hold of me; i said i am sure we will see each other in future and she looked shocked again and referenced two occasions where we will meet for work, i said of course and then i said bye. Now, I think I blew it by being too honest – and the no contact will itself be seen as a form of neediness. Help?