Sampo Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I posted a thread recently and this is partly an update but also just some 'thinking out loud' and seeking any comments and thoughts. Basically I was interested in this girl and I wasn't even sure if we were dating, so we certainly weren't together. Anyway, she was the one who started contacting me through a friend and I believe came on fairly strong in relation to starting ... something, a friendship I suppose. Maybe that's part of the problem, I was unsure what was happening exactly. We live a few hours drive apart and she was keen to drive to my city for a visit (only ever a day trip, never slept over, we were never intimate). It was all good. We had a great time hanging out, going for a hike, for dinner, whatever. She always texted me when she got home telling me she had a great time, etc. We went away for a weekend to a neutral city, she insisted on paying for 5 star accommodation, two separate rooms, which was fine. Anyway, I felt really uncomfortable when I got back to my room that night, felt she was leading me on, as she had talked about her husband over dinner. She is separated, has been for 18 months but she said there is nothing in the horizon to suggest that they will be signing the divorce papers and they don't want to do it to each other (?). The thing that probably annoyed me the most was during the weekend, quite a few times she would ask about something then say she would look it up online on her mobile phone and I could clearly see that she was texting - receiving texts and sending them - to her husband (I could see his name at the top, I knew his name from our mutual friend, she didn't tell it to me). So I felt slightly humiliated and insulted (to my intelligence) that she wouldn't even think that I could see and work out what she was doing. So, the point was - she invited me for a weekend away, said all the right things to me, yet still made it a priority to text her husband - who she is separated from for 18 months yet still has to text like they are in a marriage. I texted her late in the night to tell her I was going home early the next day and not to drop me to the airport. I was polite, thanked her for everything but told her it was time for me to go. Anyway, I left. We texted a few times over the next week. She said it was fine, etc and was happy to keep communicating, etc even thought I didn't completely explain my reasons. She said a few mixed message things, saying how much she liked me, etc, but not over the top. So the conversation was still open, still good over text but I just couldn't let it go. I ended up shutting the thing down again by saying that it really was time for me to move on and explained how annoyed I was at her texting him, etc, but I was very polite. No response, which is fine. A few days ago, which was after about a week of my text telling her that, I sent a text, not apologising for what I said, but the way I said it and that Id like to think we could still be friends. I haven't received a response, which is understandable, and fine really. So, I guess Im just a bit torn inside between standing my ground and standing up for what I believe in and feel strongly about. Because it does bother me majorly on some level what she did. But at the same time; no one is perfect, the bigger picture was that she was with me. She did a lot of positive things to indicate how into me she was. And its never, ever going to be perfect with anyone. On one level I think I treated her harshly, but on the other hand, major, major red flags were appearing. Anyway, enough rambling, its all good. haha.
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