Prin Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Hey there! The situation is this. I was dating this girl for around 8 months and the relationship moved faster than any other that I have been in. At the beginning of the relationship she could not get enough of me. As time went on and the relationship rushed, she started to lose passion for me. I was oblivious of this until after our relationship ended. I realized that i became clingy, jealous and all the things I have never been before. So a week ago she broke up with me out of nowhere and said she doesnt just feel that attraction to me anymore. She said she still loves me and that i deserve a girl that is better than her. She also said i know that i will hate her and never want to talk to her again for this. So the last week i have been searching everything possible and even purchased the ex2 system for answers and help. I have been applying the no contact rule and she has been emailing me asking me about a surgery i need for hernia and seeing if i was ok. I still have never intiated contact with her yet. To cope with the pain I have been trying to get out and hang out with other people including women. I have been posting pictures to my social network, so she will see that I am doing just fine with the break up and that it hasnt affected me. Though tonight I saw a picture of her with another guy that looked like they were on a date because they were holding hands. My question or advice i need is? -Do you think that if i follow the rules of no contact this will be a way to get her back? -Has any one heard of the ex2 system and does the system work? -Do you think she put this picture on their to make me jealous or get back at the ones that i have been putting on there of the fun I am having without her? -Do you think this guy thing could be a bad sign for me? I know some people will tell me to forget about her, but i really would like to have her back! I never connected so well with anyone else and I really love her so much! I need any kind of advice i can get! i have really tried reading everything, but i feel some of it is just so i will buy their book or advice! Thank you
slowday Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Man, I am in exactly the same position, except my relationship was long distance and it lasted 15 months. Everything - at the start she would text me while I was having dinner with an old friend, she would text while she was in meetings etc. Then this stopped and when I did the same - texting when I shouldn't - she hit the roof, then she dumped me. Its been a month or so and I have used NC on and off (she texted me and invited me to dinner etc and I blew it all by texting back and having dinner and asking her back). Now am back on NC and am doing it for myself. I don't think I will ever get her back - I think she fell out of love with the needy me and I was so far away I couldn't keep her satisfied (and yes women want loads of sex). But, I cannot be friends with her until I have stopped obsessing about her and broken the attachment. I hope she will still be friends when I am over her, but whatever happens happens. My point to you is that you may get her back (people get back together all the time - my mother left my father for six months when they were dating and they are still together 30 odd years later); but you may not. But if you use NC to regain your centre and become the strong man she fell in love with - she will be back or someone else will fall for you. Its all good (though very difficult).
Author Prin Posted July 6, 2013 Author Posted July 6, 2013 Yeah, I know what you mean buddy! I hope everything goes well for you! NC is so hard and i dont have to tell you that. What do I do about her contacting me? I know you said your ex was doing that to you?
slowday Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 I think the idea is to be strong if she messages you and you are not ready for the contact; if you are still desperate she will recognize this and you won't have a chance. There are rules about thirty days etc...but I think its more about how strong and calm you are and whether you can come across as a catch for her again. I had to tell my ex I was not going to be just friends until I was over her and this hurt us both badly but I think I will be better for it and maybe in the future I can get her back. I need to work on myself now - I am panicking in all sorts of social interactions and alienating friends so I, personally, will be getting counseling and building back my confidence. Even if you are not as badly cut up as I am I am sure you can do with some self reflection and calm. be strong mate.
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