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Seeing LDR bf after a break up?

girlystuff16

By girlystuff16
in Long-Distance Relationships

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girlystuff16 New Member

girlystuff16

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Posted (edited)

Our plans were that we were going to hang out in my city, then together fly to LA for a convention. We broke up due to his feeling of no longer feeling like he was capable of waiting for the day when we didn't have to be long distance anymore. Besides that he just wanted to have other priorities and not have to worry about making time for Skype calls and texting. He broke up with me two days ago, 13 days before he was to arrive here. We've been together for 8 months. We talked yesterday and we both still miss each other and are both feeling down in similar ways. But he still feels it's right. I'm going through all the typical break up stuff, because I was the one to get dumped. I miss him a lot, I really do. However, he's found a rebound girl and well, that sucks for her and I. Hahahaha....

 

The dilemma is that I will still be attending this conference, as will he. I didn't want to let the breakup stop me from enjoying my summer. It was a hard decision as I'm not in the mood to do anything plus I had already booked my flights and they were non-refundable. Whatever, I know I'll be excited to go with the new people I made plans with once I get there.

 

However, did I mention he will be here? We last saw each other in the beginning of May, we were still in a relationship then. It's going to be hard because I waited over two months with excitement to see him, only to have the next time I see him be when we are no longer together.

 

I was just wondering if you had any advice for how I should act if I come across him. Do I ignore him completely? Say hi, hug him? Try to impress him or make him jealous? Sounds bad but he'll do the same to me without even trying.

 

This was my first relationship and being long distance, it was hard but I really liked him and it will take a long time for me to fully get over him. I don't know how to act around an ex as he will be my first and especially because we only had 3 visits before this, it will be weird seeing him and not going in for a running hug.

 

Also would it be a good idea to ask for closure with him? Maybe if we could just sit together and talk briefly, or would that be a bad idea. I think I'd like some sort of closure just because I don't want to leave him as the last time speaking in person when we were together, does that make any sense? How could I bring up this idea to him once it gets closer to the time.

 

xoxo

Edited by girlystuff16
Chris516 Established Member

Chris516

Posted
Posted

This may sound weird, even seeming like it has nothing to do with your situation.

 

My (ex)wife left me in 1997 4.666yrs. into our marriage. I didn't divorce her until the 8.5yrs. mark. Our son graduated from high school last year. At his graduation, (almost twelve years post-divorce) she ran up to me, gave me a big hug(that I didn't want from her), and a big kiss(which I also did not want from her). I just wanted to vomit.

 

The correlation is this, you will eventually be glad he broke it off. Because their are 'better fish in the sea', than him.

 

I was depressed for almost five years after the separation(two years after the divorce), when I finally met someone online and eventually moved to another state with them. It only 4.166yrs., but they were years that were better than what I spent with my (ex)wife.

justwhoiam Established Member

justwhoiam

Posted
Posted (edited)
he's found a rebound girl
Two days after the breakup? What does that tell you? It looks like a garden of red flags.

 

The dilemma is that I will still be attending this conference, as will he.
What's this conference about? It can't be a professional thing, as you're 16 and he's 18. So what is it about?

 

did I mention he will be here?
You mean he not only will go to the conference in LA, but will also be in your town before that? How come?

 

I was just wondering if you had any advice for how I should act if I come across him. Do I ignore him completely? Say hi, hug him?

1) There's a chance he might bring this new girl to the conference.

2) If you see him anywhere, don't walk up to him. Just say hi, if he walks up to you or happens to be close to you and looks in your direction.

3) No hugs & kisses. Just smile, say hi and walk away right away with "well, i gtg"

 

Try to impress him or make him jealous?
No. You'd give him importance, and you don't want that, right? If you feel like, take a friend with you (female friend would be better) and then chat up with people at the conference. Make connections.

 

This was my first relationship
You're only 16!

 

Also would it be a good idea to ask for closure with him?
No. He's not in love nor has deep love feelings. So just leave him alone and move on. Edited by justwhoiam
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