rocketman122 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I did not suggest that you were socially retarded nor did I suggest anyone is right or wrong here - that would be obtuse. Not responding for a "whole day", is really no big deal if people have busy lives and they are not in any sort of relationship with expectations attached. It still amazes me how we as a society survived without cell phones and texting a generation ago Perhaps mobile devices are secretly a means of "thinning the herd" by making dating even harder really? and you would react this way of you were in her situation but you sent the text and he didnt reply and came up with the pathetic I didnt have my phone with me? I dont think so. women are the worst with the "why hasnt he called me yet" so females, please dont be hypocrites.
sweetheart5381 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Stop being obtuse. I know what i'm talking about & you are wrong. I'm not socially retarded. I don't text or call to "chat". I do it to set up a time & place to meet up or to verify we are meeting. I prefer to do my communicating face to face. I've had women just not respond for a whole day, a week, or never. And when they take that long to respond they come back with "good morning" or "have a good weekend" or some other non-sense completely ignoring my inquiry about plans. they are deleted & I move on because I don't want or need a text buddy. really? and you would react this way of you were in her situation but you sent the text and he didnt reply and came up with the pathetic I didnt have my phone with me? I dont think so. women are the worst with the "why hasnt he called me yet" so females, please dont be hypocrites. Well, I cannot speak for all women, as we are all individuals. Generalizing and calling someone a hypocrite is also rather "obtuse". If I send a text there is no time limit on when he can/should answer. Perhaps he is out of town/country. Perhaps his cell died, was lost, damaged, whatever. Perhaps he is ill, there was a death in the family.... see where I am going with this? If you value the person in anyway there really is no time limit on communication. If you don't value them, then they are better off not going out with you anyway. Just an opinion folks
white Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I can text any of my friends right now and expect a reply before tonight. I could text my sister, or my mum. I could text my colleagues or my boss, my classmates. My neighbour. I'd get a reply today. So would you. We all have phones for explicitly this purpose. Many people pay a lot of money for expensive phone contracts so they can text even more. When people who are supposed to be up for dating - an exciting thing everyone's keen to do - take days to respond to a text, they're doing it deliberately, contrary to how they would behave if the aforementioned other people in their lives texted them. They've seen it and chosen not to respond. It is an attempt to play a game or hold imaginary power. It's a childish and stupid response. In my parents day they'd have queued up to use the single local payphone simultaneously in their hometowns for a couple minutes every day just to get to talk to each other and arrange to meet. Now we can talk across the planet, instantly, anywhere, and people use this unimaginable power to disappoint and upset each other. And then spit out overprivileged bull**** about there being no expectations. 1
BradJacobs Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Guys, how long do you let go by before your decide a person is not interested if they don't call or text back right away... especially if you only just met them (and online, not in person yet). A week or two? Months? Someone I haven't even met yet is still a stranger to me. I don't owe them anything and neither do they owe me anything. The guy sounds clingy.
rocketman122 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Well, I cannot speak for all women, as we are all individuals. Generalizing and calling someone a hypocrite is also rather "obtuse". Fair enough. If I send a text there is no time limit on when he can/should answer. Perhaps he is out of town/country. Perhaps his cell died, was lost, damaged, whatever. Perhaps he is ill, there was a death in the family.... see where I am going with this? you have been in a relationship and you sent the guy a text and he took longer than 24 hours and you didnt get pissed off he wasnt considerate, or cared enough to stay in contact? tell the truth. I doubt it. I DEMAND IT from my partner and I give back no less. if I get a text, I reply as soon as I can. when you dont reply as soon as you see the text for any other reason than youre super busy, its a mind game and I have no patience for that. zero tolerance. when my GF is mad at me she replies after some time. I know her too well. but other than that she replies pretty quickly. cause if she doesnt I will do the same and I AM THE MASTER OF MIND GAMES and I dont play, so if im not doing it, she will not either. its being inconsiderate and disrespectful you couldnt take the 10 seconds to say "so busy, soon sweetheart,wait" and contact him/her later. I wouldnt want to be with a person who didnt care if I texted 24 hours later. too passive for my taste. If you value the person in anyway there really is no time limit on communication. If you don't value them, then they are better off not going out with you anyway. you being passive by letting 24 hours pass by would be a no no for me. if my GF doesnt reply within reasonable time, could be 20 minutes and could be 3-5 hours, depending what I know she is doing during that time of day, then I would be worried. I would care if something happened. but she didnt do the same it would be over and it would show me she is not the caring warm person I want to be with.
rocketman122 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I can text any of my friends right now and expect a reply before tonight. I could text my sister, or my mum. I could text my colleagues or my boss, my classmates. My neighbour. I'd get a reply today. So would you. We all have phones for explicitly this purpose. Many people pay a lot of money for expensive phone contracts so they can text even more. When people who are supposed to be up for dating - an exciting thing everyone's keen to do - take days to respond to a text, they're doing it deliberately, contrary to how they would behave if the aforementioned other people in their lives texted them. They've seen it and chosen not to respond. It is an attempt to play a game or hold imaginary power. It's a childish and stupid response. In my parents day they'd have queued up to use the single local payphone simultaneously in their hometowns for a couple minutes every day just to get to talk to each other and arrange to meet. Now we can talk across the planet, instantly, anywhere, and people use this unimaginable power to disappoint and upset each other. And then spit out overprivileged bull**** about there being no expectations. absolutely. today texting is much more than phone calls and FB and other internet SM people are texting all day. I dont believe the OP for a millisecond she didnt have her phone with her. those that delay replies to text see it but decide to build tension and play stupid kiddy games. and women play those stupid games all the time. men do too but women mostly. it would have the opposite affect on me if a women didnt reply in a normal time frame. I would not even reply to her reply after that. you cant put effort to use your fingers to type on a screen. get the hell outta here. but thats ok cause it tells me who you are and I can find someone who has more class. "new to texts"...sure. keep saying that to yourself. GTFOH.
sweetheart5381 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Rocketman, I understand what you are saying, however the OP is not yet in a relationship, they haven't even met and have not established a rough guideline for communication. If my bf didn't respond after 24 hrs I would be very concerned that he was hurt or in trouble, etc and I too would expect him to contract me in another way to let me know he was ok. This is because we have an established routine and know what we are doing from day-to-day. If he didn't contact me I would find him inconsiderate and I'd make sure he is aware that I find that unacceptable. Again, this thread seems to be focused on the length of time that one finds acceptable to return a text, however there is no universal rule and we are all have different obligations and lifestyles. 1
phineas Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 absolutely. today texting is much more than phone calls and FB and other internet SM people are texting all day. I dont believe the OP for a millisecond she didnt have her phone with her. those that delay replies to text see it but decide to build tension and play stupid kiddy games. and women play those stupid games all the time. men do too but women mostly. it would have the opposite affect on me if a women didnt reply in a normal time frame. I would not even reply to her reply after that. you cant put effort to use your fingers to type on a screen. get the hell outta here. but thats ok cause it tells me who you are and I can find someone who has more class. "new to texts"...sure. keep saying that to yourself. GTFOH. funnily enough, while this thread was going on I sent out a bunch of messages on OKcupid. 2 women got back to me. After about 6 or 7 messages in an hrs time I asked for their number. Nada. I'm interested to see if they respond & how long it takes. I know for a fact they were online because I Favorited them. 1
rocketman122 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 from what I saw when I did OLD, many women dont really want a relationship. they dont really want anything besides attention. they hide behind their screens and love the attention they get but to get them to come out from their cave and meet is not going to happen. there are 5 options for "type of relationship your looking for" -friend/buddy -partner -long term relationship -marriage -marriage with children I never sent messages to those who checked the first 2. never. they simply arent serious enough. if youre intention is to have a serious relationship then you would check LTR. Also a lot of women are simply looking for someone to entertain them. they have their busy lives. friends, children, work, and other things and they want someone to entertain them. take them out when they have some free time. gets some sexual satisfaction but it will go no further than that. And those that specifically write im very independent, I stay away from. they can do without you and you arent that important to them and they can be on their own. im not independent, nor am I dependent but I love being in a relationship. I love to love and be loved. so those are things ive learned over time. and its worked well for me. I filter them REAL quick. too much BS you need to deal with. I wish you luck buddy.
USMCHokie Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 . Again, this thread seems to be focused on the length of time that one finds acceptable to return a text, however there is no universal rule and we are all have different obligations and lifestyles. For me, like I said before, infinite time. It's literally fire and forget. If I send correspondence that beckons for a response, and she does not respond, she will not get any more correspondence from me. And in regard to the mobile age, those in my age demographic are generally tied to their phones. If a woman legitimately only checks their phone every few days, then I probably don't want to date them anyway because it will only cause headaches down the road. I would be completely comfortable writing off that population of women from my dating pool.
krz12 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 For me, like I said before, infinite time. It's literally fire and forget. If I send correspondence that beckons for a response, and she does not respond, she will not get any more correspondence from me. And in regard to the mobile age, those in my age demographic are generally tied to their phones. If a woman legitimately only checks their phone every few days, then I probably don't want to date them anyway because it will only cause headaches down the road. I would be completely comfortable writing off that population of women from my dating pool. Modern smartphones effectively need to be charged daily under typical usage. At the minimum, someone must be looking at their phone when they plug it into the wall.
InsaneTrombone Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Is it normal to have minimal communication between eachother between dates? My logical mind tells me if you're interested in someone, you make a reasonable effort to chat with them whether over the phone or text between dates. You would respond or even initiate texts / phone calls if interested. She's not responded to my last 3 texts or initiated anything back for the past few days since the date Tuesday, but has time to update her FB status and hold a large conversation with someone in comments. I know it's good that she has continued to accept and meet me on dates on my terms about once a week, but it's a little bothersome there hasn't been as much communication inbetween as I would have liked. In person, she has no problem kissing me, cuddling in bed or holding my hand in public. I guess you could say I'm somewhat of an active texter and to see she isn't is a little discouraging. Am I reading too much into this lack of communication on her part? I've been told it could mean disinterest all the way to her liking me so much it scares her so she's taking it slow lol. Frankly, I'm considering just approaching her about where she feels we stand but everyone keeps telling me that's a bad move...
phineas Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 from what I saw when I did OLD, many women dont really want a relationship. they dont really want anything besides attention. they hide behind their screens and love the attention they get but to get them to come out from their cave and meet is not going to happen. there are 5 options for "type of relationship your looking for" -friend/buddy -partner -long term relationship -marriage -marriage with children I never sent messages to those who checked the first 2. never. they simply arent serious enough. if youre intention is to have a serious relationship then you would check LTR. Also a lot of women are simply looking for someone to entertain them. they have their busy lives. friends, children, work, and other things and they want someone to entertain them. take them out when they have some free time. gets some sexual satisfaction but it will go no further than that. And those that specifically write im very independent, I stay away from. they can do without you and you arent that important to them and they can be on their own. im not independent, nor am I dependent but I love being in a relationship. I love to love and be loved. so those are things ive learned over time. and its worked well for me. I filter them REAL quick. too much BS you need to deal with. I wish you luck buddy. One waited 8hrs to respond then said it was a possibility & would get back to me. then checked my profile 2 hrs later. she knows how to reach me. The other one waited a full day then said she wanted to chat on the site for a little while longer. uhh-no thanks. don't need a pen-pal. Will not be responding. I'll hit up the next 5 in my favorites folder now.
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