wolvie666 Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 Ok. A little background is necessary. I spent the last weekend in New York City (I'm considering relocating there) and before hand had made plans to meet up with a girl I was friends with in High School (we dated very briefly and remained friends for years afterwards). I hadn't spoken to or seen this girl in 8 years though I had always thought about her because to be honest I was always in love with her for the years we were friends. We drifted apart and both got involved in serious relationships and became adults. My engagement ended 5 months ago, and I found out that she ended her engagement in September. The idea of sparks flying entered my mind, but it wasn't a serious consideration because we were just friends for years after we dated. So I meet her at a bar on Saturday night. We started talking like no time had elapsed at all and everything was nice. She was being very touchy feely and kept commenting on how happy it made her to see me. Then she told me that the reason she broke up with her fiancee was because she started seeing somebody else who happens to be a woman. I was shocked but recovered because I wasn't expecting anything to really happen anyway. But as the night wore on (and no she wasn't drunk) she became more and more touchy feely and then finally started kissing me. Of course I was thrilled. She then started saying things like, "I have such a good feeling about what could happen if you moved here." The rest of the night she was holding my hand and kissing me and laying in my arms and saying over and over how happy being with me was making her. She even told me how she wished I could spend the night with her (I couldn't because her fiancee still lives in the same apartment). As we parted at the end of the night it seemed like we were at the beginning of something new. I was elated. Everything changed the next day. We went out again and she was affectionate to start but then withdrew. Later in the night she leaned over to me and asked if I felt weird about everything that happened the night before, I told her I didn't and then she said, "Everything that happened was nice, but I think I was just feeling sentimental or something." It hurt because I had fallen for her all over again and thought she had fallen for me. Does her explanation sound logical? I know she's in a strange place right now having just broke up with her fiancee and now seeing a woman, but how could feeling sentimental make her say the things she said and have her kissing me and telling me she wants to sleep with me? I can't get her out of my head now. How could she mess with my head and heart like that? Should I pursue her when I move in January even if she's in this lesbian relationship? I feel like something drew her toward me on Saturday and it wasn't sentimentality, you don't just make out with old friends because you haven't seen them in years. You don't say things suggesting that the fates were pushing us towards each other. She was not drunk. She emailed me yesterday and told me that kissing me might not have been the best idea but she was so happy to see me and was "feeling nostalgic." The more I think about it the more I think she's lying to herself about what she felt that night. Do you think she's confused? I love this girl and would absolutely love to have her as my girlfriend.
bluechocolate Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 I think you should keep things in perspective here. You haven't spoken to or seen this girl in 8 years so I find it a little strange that after one night you feel that she has, mess(ed) with my head and heart like that? Should I pursue her when I move in January even if she's in this lesbian relationship? Of course not. Does her explanation sound logical? Actually, in a strange way, it does. Who knows? Maybe she was feeling particularily lonely that day? Maybe seeing an old friend from "happier" days caught her momentarily off guard? Remeber, it was just one evening. It's not like she's been stringing you along for a few weeks & then decided that she was just being sentimental. And besides, it's her explanation. It doesn't have to be logical to you or anyone else. She said: "Everything that happened was nice, but I think I was just feeling sentimental or something." and told me that kissing me might not have been the best idea but she was so happy to see me and was "feeling nostalgic." and now you want to convince yourself that she is actually feeling something different: The more I think about it the more I think she's lying to herself about what she felt that night. Save yourself the heartache & take her at her word.
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