Eggplant Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 You've only known the guy 2 weeks. It's not as though you're madly in love, right? Very little investment. Just bail. There are other fish in the sea. You go find a man who wants sex earlier. He'll go find a woman who wants sex later. Problem solved. No need to force a relationship that's not compatible.
KathyM Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 They mentioned it was both. both. Unfortunately now I will have to lie about it if I'm asked again. Ive always been 100% honest about this and it has cost me dearly. I have to look out for myself. wish the past could be kept in the past. No, you don't have to lie about it. She may not ask about the past, but if she does, you could say that you never met the right woman that you wanted to have a relationship with. If you have many good qualities about you, then she might perceive you as being very selective. If you don't, then THAT is what you need to worry about. Not your virginity. I know a man who was 53 and was still a virgin. He had many good qualities about him, and a woman that was very interested in him because of those qualities, and he had even been engaged to one woman at one point, but he never progressed the relationship. You need to work on yourself if you have been rejected for the last 25 years. It's not the virginity that's holding you back. It's the other traits that are not attracting a woman.
KathyM Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 If you found out that out of the 2000 individuals only 20 were marriage only types and they were within the first two years of their marriage would this effect how skeptical of their results you are? You picked that number (20) out of thin air. I would assume that the researchers took more care to make sure their research sample was evenly distributed enough to have a valid and reliable test. If you have some actual test/study to refute what this study claims, go ahead and post it, rather than making arbitrary assumptions on your own with no facts or studies to back it up. I've actually found other studies that say very much the same thing than this one.
kaylan Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 It will be a lot more of a concern for a woman that the guy has never been in a relationship. A manwhore that has slept around until 43 years old but never had an actual relationship with someone is not appealing in any way. Didnt know 15 partners made a 43 year old a whore, but ok =P
KathyM Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Didnt know 15 partners made a 43 year old a whore, but ok =P lol. 15 is an arbitrary number. The dude in question had no sexual encounters. I was talking in general terms, that women would rather date a man who was sexually inexperienced, than a man who was a commitment phobic manwhore, that made it to 43 sleeping around, but never having a relationship of any kind.
kaylan Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 The reality Ive seen is that commitment phobic guys whove slept around get a lot more benefit of the doubt than virgins. Comparing extremes though is never good though and doesnt really help older virgins who feel they need to lie in order to date successfully.
KathyM Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 The reality Ive seen is that commitment phobic guys whove slept around get a lot more benefit of the doubt than virgins. Comparing extremes though is never good though and doesnt really help older virgins who feel they need to lie in order to date successfully. They don't need to lie. There are women that will not hold their sexual inexperience against them. Several women on this message board even said as much. I think men make more of an issue out of this than women do. And if a woman would discriminate against him for sexual inexperience, then she is obviously not a match, so no loss. I know for a fact that there are women who would not hold that against him.
Author dsw31 Posted July 8, 2013 Author Posted July 8, 2013 I'm scared this guy is going to hurt me.I was so sad on Sun morning, when I thought we were through.It reminded me of just how much a man can influence my happiness or sadness.He even told me that he always ends up either hurting someone or himself, no matter what he does.I get that he's trying to do things differently with me but, I'm just too fragile when it comes to relationships.My inner voice is telling me not to get too attached but I haven't liked anyone in over a year.How the hell am I supposed to detach emotionally? I don't know that anyone has any answers but I just needed to write that out,I guess.Damn!
Recommended Posts