BittetGrace Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 (edited) After lots of drama and a need for personal healing, I have finally been hit over the head enough to know that no contact is the way to go in order to handle my failed relationship. My story is that my guy and I were friends for about a year, dated for five years, and then were engaged for little over a year. He cheated on me once during that time, and we broke up for a few months. Later we got back together. Well we broke up five months ago when he left me for another woman. This girl has a bad reputation but she has been a friend of his for years. Her exes are extremely weird, and she has been known to cheat. His family hates her. My main problem after we broke up was completely letting him go. I tried, but would always fail. I would do nc for about a week or two, and then I would either initiate contact or he would. Then we would talk or flirt. During this time, I also stopped talking to my friends about how I felt (believing that they would not understand how I was still not able to move on). Well one person I did talk to a lot was one of my friend’s husband (we will call him Nemesis) who use to date the girl that my ex is with. He hates the girl because she was the one that got away but also because she cheated on him and left him for his best friend years ago. Well Nemesis also hates my boyfriend because he hates cheaters in general. I knew I should not be talking to him because he has a history of causing drama even though he is 30. I also started talking to a friend of my ex who always liked him because she hated my ex’s new girl (you know the enemy of my enemy is my friend). Well somebody pretty early on started hounding my ex’s new girlfriend on facebook using my name (it was a separate account from mine). Sometimes I think it might even be his new girl lying because one time out of the blue she contacted me on facebook account (I thought well you can clearly tell the difference between our pages now.) Well for the last two months I have been talking to my ex less and less. Then about a month ago I told Nemesis that I still talked to my ex and he flirted with me. He goes and tells the new girl. So lots of drama happened ending with my ex cussing me out and completely not talking to me. So then I cut him as a friend off of facebook. And I stopped talking to Nemesis even though he kept talking to me. Was prepared to block him but I was planning on a trip and did not give it much thought. Well on my trip I felt really bad for gossiping about my ex to people I knew who would use it against him so I sent him a text about how I was sorry I had caused him any problems with his new girl. Well it turns out I was apparently apologizing for more than I meant because not only did he think I was apologizing for having the fake profile and harassing his girlfriend but somebody (who had to be a friend of mine or a friend of a friend) stole my vacation pictures (me in my bikini on a beach) and started sending them to the girlfriend’s phone about that was how I was going to get my ex back. (Like I have no contact with her… who would give me her number??) I had to find this out from one of my best friends who is kin to my ex. She wanted to see if I had done it. I feel really hurt because I’m a door mat, people pleaser who is clingy but not psycho. I feel immense guilt over doing little things wrong. I am someone who always has a fear to say no to someone. People, especially those who know me, should know I’m not capable of something like this. So not only am I upset that my identity was stolen from someone I know, but also that it s now circulating around my close friends and they should know better. I also feel heartbroken (again) because my ex would think I did that and not confront me or anything. Because even after we broke up, he seemed like he was willing to have that connection (being friends with me). So now I feel done with this situation, but I can’t stop thinking about how betrayed I feel on all sides. Plus my reputation (being a good girl) is something I take pride in. But now I wish I was more aggressive and could say f*** you all and not care. I have deactivated my facebook and eventually I will get back on, increase my privacy and block everyone involved in this, but it saddens me. I wish I could explain to my ex my side but probably the best way to handle this is to just let go and eventually he will realize that I was innocent. I’m also afraid my friend who is married to Nemesis will call me one day and I will have to explain to her what happened or in worse case scenario… completely chew her out. Because I really do not believe she had anything to do with it, I fully believe it was her husband. To me this is so… high schoolish. I’m not a person that is use to drama so am completely inexperience in how to handle this situation. So any advice is welcomed, but I hope to write on here any time I feel insecure about this situation… for my own piece of mind… like my journal. Edited July 5, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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