CorridorE Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 Well, today I broke down and broke almost 4 months of NC for my ex's birthday. I had been debating it for a week - and I know I spent too much time thinking about it when I know he isn't worth the birthday wishes - but in the end the last time we spoke was on very bad terms and I still care about him very much so I couldn't let the day pass by while keeping silent. I texted him "Happy birthday, have a wonderful day" and 8am and he responded "Thank you" and 9:30. I was afraid I'd feel terrible after but I don't. I'm glad I told him and I'm glad he responded so I know he saw it and he hopefully knows I don't hate him and won't remember me badly. I'd still like input, good or bad. Did I still mess up? I feel fine and emotionally stable right now, so I think I did the right thing. And I'm not expecting to hear anything back from him later tonight, and won't text anything else. I kept silent for 4 months, I can continue on the same as it was before. I just wanted to let him know I was thinking of him on his birthday, and I think is more of just human kindness, not a weakness.
mtnbiker3000 Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 Well if it works for you, then no biggie. My ex's B-Day was last week, and I didn't break radio silence. Been almost 4 months and I wasn't about to undo a damn thing. Was I thinking of her? Sure. Do I miss her? Yup! But, sticking with NC until I am indifferent. That means B-Day's, Holiday's and any other time it would be nice just to say 'hello'. Again, if it works for you, great. Hopefully, you won't start over-analyzing or feeling bad 1
forgetmenot75 Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 All I can say is that if you wanted him to know you're still thinking about him, you did a good job. It is evident, though, he doesn't want anything with you, at least now. He didn't ask you how are you, or pursued any type of contact after the thank you. If I were you, I wouldn't have broken 4 months of hard work, but that depends on the person. If you think you can be friends with him, without any other expectation, then it's ok. He know knows you still care about him, and that you remember him. that's what you wanted initially, so I guess it's ok you wished him a happy birthday.
Author CorridorE Posted July 5, 2013 Author Posted July 5, 2013 No, I don't want to be his friend. I still care about him too deeply, so it's okay with me that he didn't ask how I was because I wouldn't have known what to say. But I've read a lot of fourms lately of people saying "it's just a birthday, let it go," and I thought... that's right. It's just a birthday wish, nothing more. So why not? Now I'm carrying on with NC, and because we didn't have a conversation I don't think any hard work was ruined.
forgetmenot75 Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 Four months and you still cares about him deeply...that makes me think how long does it takes to achieve the indifference stage. May I ask you if in these 4 months you did some kind of stalking, or looked at his pics, or anything?? Or you just stayed no contact? Just curious..
aloneinaz Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 I wouldn't of wished him a happy birthday. He's not in your life anymore so there's no value in it. You did let him know he's still on your mind but who cares. I just am in a hardened place right now as when someone dumps you they are telling you they don't want you around anymore, don't want to be your lover, friend or be in thier life. Why would I lift a finger to text happy b-day to that person? If you have a falling out with a good friend, I doubt you'd text them happy birthday? I will say I have ex's from 10 to 15 years ago on Facebook. I do tell them happy birthday an vis versa due to so much time has gone by that you don't recall the drama of the break up. Most of these break ups were also done by me but I was very loving and caring when I ended the relationship so there wasn't any anamosity.
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