Newbie37 Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 Hi All First time posting so here's my story: A guy who I was in love with and thought he felt the same has hooked up with someone new recently, I think about 4-6 weeks ago, we had a "mad" 4 month relationship which ended up with us staying close friends, if im honest I still love this guy and god only knows why, ive always been hoping we could have another chance, however since finding out he has someone new that has all gone as he has lied about being with her etc and I found out vial social site they were an item!!! After a few harsh words from each other things calmed down and we remained in touch despite advice from my friends I should forget him, so some days I hear from him some days not, its mostly in the day if he does text, then last night at midnight he text me asking if I was awake?!?!?! As you can understand I am very confused by this as why now he has a new partner would he decide to text me late at night?!?! Thoughts please - many thanks
Sneaky Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 I don't know much and I might not be the best person to advice but to me it seems like you weren't ready to be friends. I am just guessing but maybe he was trying to spare your feelings by trying to hide things and now he's concerned you are pissed with him. That's just a guess but the bottom line is he has shown no romantic inclination or attempts to reconcile. If you want my advice you should try going no contact to move on for yourself. I can't imagine anything worse than seeing the person you love date and fall for someone else while stuck at the sidelines.
aloneinaz Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 You need to disappear from his life. There's NO WAY I'd do what you did. He broke up with you, started seeing someone new yet wants you in his life as a fall back and you agree? Come on.. Where's you're pride and self esteem? You need to disappear from his life and go NC. There's zero reason you need to stay as a "friend". F-him. Find someone that likes you and wants you.
Author Newbie37 Posted July 5, 2013 Author Posted July 5, 2013 Hi Sneaky Thanks for your advice, your right I was not ready to be friends as I do still have feelings for him, I suppose the worst thing is it has made me question the whole relationship and if that was just a pack of lies too, I have deleted his number and social site and am trying to move on, its just at the moment I cant think of anything else but him.
Legatus Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 If you go on thinking your relationship was a lie, you may not find peace. Remember the good times you had, but do not recall it, do not overthink it. I have found some kind of pattern that cheaters like to stay friends with people they cheated on. I don't know whether it's because they're hoping to fix their karma that way or they want to make sure people who have been cheated on will be ok. The best thing to do is to not give them the pleasure of knowing what happens. They get enough pleasure from those who participated in the cheating..
Author Newbie37 Posted July 5, 2013 Author Posted July 5, 2013 Thanks for the advice guys, our relationship was very intense we talked about marriage kids the whole thing, he lost his job which is why it ended and I sort of hoped once he was sorted we could get back on track, how wrong was I!!! It just hurts thinking the it was all lies and I could never have meant all that much to him, even though he left his partner of 3 years to be with me at the time!!! I never had him down as a player but the more I think about things he was playing me all along
Sneaky Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 Hi Sneaky Thanks for your advice, your right I was not ready to be friends as I do still have feelings for him, I suppose the worst thing is it has made me question the whole relationship and if that was just a pack of lies too, I have deleted his number and social site and am trying to move on, its just at the moment I cant think of anything else but him. That's fine, I'm at over one month of no contact and I still think of my ex a lot too but it doesn't hurt as much as it used to so that's something. You can give yourself some time to grieve and after that it helps to keep busy to keep your mind from wandering back while slowly moving on. Good luck.
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