JustJana Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 I'm hoping someone talks me out of cancelling tonight. I met this guy at Barnes & Noble a couple weeks ago. I know it's a little cliche actually but he seems great. We've been talking for 2 weeks due to schedules. We're supposed to go out tonight, problem is I'm afraid that he's going to be a lying jackass. He seems almost too good to be true. I've had some crap experiences lately that have really made me wonder if there are any decent guys out there. I need to be convinced that he's probably what he seems & that his goal isn't going to be to **** & run. Thoughts?
TigerCub Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 If you are so scarred by your previous experiences maybe that shows that you're not ready to date for a while and that you should actually work on those issues with a professional. However, if this guy seems nice and you do want to give him a chance, then go for the date. You're worried that he's gonna f**k & chuck you - a good way to get around that problem is to not sleep with him so soon. Get to know the guy, have fun, but don't sleep with him quickly. Yes, even if you waited a few months, that doesn't guarantee that he wont be a jerk that will leave you after, but honestly it will weed out the guys that are just taking you out to f**k you. But I mean this with all sympathy and respect - yes, it sucks to get burned in relationships, but the next guy shouldn't pay for someone else's mistakes. If you're not ready to date, don't. But I honestly don't see the harm in getting to know someone, having fun and being smart about the situation. Good luck 1
salparadise Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 I'm hoping someone talks me out of cancelling tonight. I met this guy at Barnes & Noble a couple weeks ago. I know it's a little cliche actually but he seems great. We've been talking for 2 weeks due to schedules. We're supposed to go out tonight, problem is I'm afraid that he's going to be a lying jackass. He seems almost too good to be true. I've had some crap experiences lately that have really made me wonder if there are any decent guys out there. I need to be convinced that he's probably what he seems & that his goal isn't going to be to **** & run. Thoughts? Yea, my thought is that if you cancel because he seems great, and you don't believe any great guys exist or that it's not possible that a great guy would be interested in you, then you've essentially sealed your fate. You have some seriously distorted logic bouncing around in that space. What you should be thinking is, "Wow, this could be what I've been hoping for, and I'm absolutely worthy! When opportunity knocks, open the friggin door."
soccerrprp Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 If you are so scarred by your previous experiences maybe that shows that you're not ready to date for a while and that you should actually work on those issues with a professional. However, if this guy seems nice and you do want to give him a chance, then go for the date. You're worried that he's gonna f**k & chuck you - a good way to get around that problem is to not sleep with him so soon. Get to know the guy, have fun, but don't sleep with him quickly. Yes, even if you waited a few months, that doesn't guarantee that he wont be a jerk that will leave you after, but honestly it will weed out the guys that are just taking you out to f**k you. But I mean this with all sympathy and respect - yes, it sucks to get burned in relationships, but the next guy shouldn't pay for someone else's mistakes. If you're not ready to date, don't. But I honestly don't see the harm in getting to know someone, having fun and being smart about the situation. Good luck Yes, this! No sex early on and if he walks, then you know. Dating/relationships are inherently risky. If you don't take risks, you're just not going to find someone. That simple, right? Good luck.
Author JustJana Posted July 5, 2013 Author Posted July 5, 2013 That's my plan, no sex. I'm going to go. I might regret it, but I'm going to go. I did google him, he doesn't seem to have any felonies or a family stashed anywhere at least. Let's call that a step in the right direction!
shexy Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 You're thinking about cancelling the date because it's a great guy? That makes no sense! You won't have to worry about being a **** and run if you don't have sex with him.
grkBoy Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 Go out with no expectations. Just have fun. Have the strength to walk when you see it's gone bad. The problem with many men and women who get burned by lists is they saw moments when they could have walked, but the stayed and tried to make it work. I'm guilty of this in my past btw. If you want to be alone, then don't date. However, if you want to find love, then you unfortunately have to take risks. Just learn to guard yourself and protect yourself without being negative, cynical, and/or paranoid. Just go have fun this one night and don't worry if there is a future. Let a future happen if he's the right one. 1
Phantom888 Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 Just go out and have fun. If there is no chemistry, then just be friends. As stated above, don't expect anything....just see what happens. There are great guys out there.
Author JustJana Posted July 6, 2013 Author Posted July 6, 2013 I went, we had a great time. It was so nice. I'm glad I went.
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