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Met a guy twiced and worried I've been 'friendzoned'?

penguino

By penguino
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penguino Member

penguino

Posted
Posted (edited)

*Oops, didn't spot the typo in the thread title.

 

I've met this guy from OKcupid twice now. We get on, share similar interests and humour, and generally have fun whenever we meet. The first time we met, I felt there was something there. I'm definitely attracted to him, and I noticed that whenever he spoke to me his eyebrows would rise...so I looked it up on google and apparently it can be an indication of attraction. After the first meeting, he hugged me goodbye and text me the next morning asking if I got back alright etc. Now, we've never talked about finding each other attractive or anything other than being platonic yet, but on the first meeting I did sense that he was attracted to me.

 

On the second meeting (the week after), we got on well again, but I noticed he wasn't doing the eyebrow thing anymore. I feel kind of ridiculous writing this out, and perhaps I'm being neurotic, but that- and a few other subtle things- made me fear that he'd somehow lost the attraction to me he'd felt on the first meeting. However, he did say about perhaps meeting another time soon and even suggested I could go inter-railing with him. He hugged me goodbye. After the second meeting, he added me on facebook and we've talked a few times (times which I've initiated) but we've rarely talked compared to how we used to ( and he's online a lot too). He said that he 'likes hanging out with me'....so have I been friendzoned? I hate that term but I want to use it because there seems to be a myth that only 'guys' get friendzoned. I'm 21 but kind of inexperienced in dating. I'm aware that I probably need to chill. I don't care if he wants a purely platonic relationship, but I just want to try and determine how he sees me. I really like this guy.

Edited by penguino
shexy Established Member

shexy

Posted
Posted

I think you're reading way too much into his eyebrows.

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penguino Member

penguino

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Posted

Haha! Yeah, you're probably right. :(

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penguino Member

penguino

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Anyone else?

sdraw108 Established Member

sdraw108

Posted
Posted (edited)

Ask him on a third date, and make sure to use the word "date" when you do (e.g. something like "How do you feel about a dinner date this Friday?"). You should be able to figure out how he views you from his response. You met him on OK Cupid after all, so it's not like it needs to be a big mystery whether or not you're both interested. If he acts weird about it, then you've been friendzoned, but if you have you might as well find out as soon as possible, so you won't have lost anything by using this approach.

Edited by sdraw108
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penguino Member

penguino

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Okay. I'll try that later. I did ask if he wanted to meet today, a few days ago, he said he'd let me know yesterday but he never did. Doesn't look good :( Ugh, I wonder why he's gone off me?

irc333 Established Member

irc333

Posted
Posted

You know...it's not very often I hear of a woman upset about being FZ'ed.

 

 

*Oops, didn't spot the typo in the thread title.

 

I've met this guy from OKcupid twice now. We get on, share similar interests and humour, and generally have fun whenever we meet. The first time we met, I felt there was something there. I'm definitely attracted to him, and I noticed that whenever he spoke to me his eyebrows would rise...so I looked it up on google and apparently it can be an indication of attraction. After the first meeting, he hugged me goodbye and text me the next morning asking if I got back alright etc. Now, we've never talked about finding each other attractive or anything other than being platonic yet, but on the first meeting I did sense that he was attracted to me.

 

On the second meeting (the week after), we got on well again, but I noticed he wasn't doing the eyebrow thing anymore. I feel kind of ridiculous writing this out, and perhaps I'm being neurotic, but that- and a few other subtle things- made me fear that he'd somehow lost the attraction to me he'd felt on the first meeting. However, he did say about perhaps meeting another time soon and even suggested I could go inter-railing with him. He hugged me goodbye. After the second meeting, he added me on facebook and we've talked a few times (times which I've initiated) but we've rarely talked compared to how we used to ( and he's online a lot too). He said that he 'likes hanging out with me'....so have I been friendzoned? I hate that term but I want to use it because there seems to be a myth that only 'guys' get friendzoned. I'm 21 but kind of inexperienced in dating. I'm aware that I probably need to chill. I don't care if he wants a purely platonic relationship, but I just want to try and determine how he sees me. I really like this guy.

phineas Established Member

phineas

Posted
Posted
You know...it's not very often I hear of a woman upset about being FZ'ed.

 

You spend too much time here.

Only on LS do women enjoy it when sex isn't on the radar.

 

In the real world most women are mind-flucked when a guy doesn't try to bang her by the 2nd date & some if he doesn't go for it on the 1st date.

 

Hence the reason why guy's whose goal isn't to stick it in everything with a heartbeat ASAP have so many problems with dating and getting friendzoned themselves.

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crude Established Member

crude

Posted
Posted
You spend too much time here.

Only on LS do women enjoy it when sex isn't on the radar.

 

In the real world most women are mind-flucked when a guy doesn't try to bang her by the 2nd date & some if he doesn't go for it on the 1st date.

 

 

You got that right. Tell a woman you don't think of her THAT way and just want to be her friend, and watch the anger come out. YOU don't want ME, you must be gay or crazy!

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penguino Member

penguino

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Posted (edited)

I'm not angry about it. Just kind of hurt, and trying to fathom where I stand. And yeah, I guess my ego is hurt, but I really enjoyed his company and hoped for something more. He seems to be sending me confusing signals, asking me to maybe go France with him in the Summer on the second meeting, and then not contacting me at all. I don't have a problem if he wants to stay friends, it would be unreasonable to assume that everyone HAS to be attracted to me.

Edited by penguino
Shaun-Dro Established Member

Shaun-Dro

Posted
Posted
Okay. I'll try that later. I did ask if he wanted to meet today, a few days ago, he said he'd let me know yesterday but he never did. Doesn't look good :( Ugh, I wonder why he's gone off me?

 

It's because you're chasing. And even if you feel you aren't he may sense it that you are. On Cupid, there's tons of women in his orbit and it's better to believe that others have struck his fancy, outside of you.

phineas Established Member

phineas

Posted
Posted
I'm not angry about it. Just kind of hurt, and trying to fathom where I stand. And yeah, I guess my ego is hurt, but I really enjoyed his company and hoped for something more. He seems to be sending me confusing signals, asking me to maybe go France with him in the Summer on the second meeting, and then not contacting me at all. I don't have a problem if he wants to stay friends, it would be unreasonable to assume that everyone HAS to be attracted to me.

 

I'm a guy and I never speak of the "future" like this with women i'm not in a relationship with.

However, women who have done the exact same thing to me were either looking to lead me on by making me think they really liked me or they really liked me & were trying to figure out if I liked them.

Either way, these one-on-one events they spoke of never happened.

 

However those trying to chump me failed miserably & those into me eventually showed me with other actions.

 

It's because you're chasing. And even if you feel you aren't he may sense it that you are. On Cupid, there's tons of women in his orbit and it's better to believe that others have struck his fancy, outside of you.

 

This also.

The man sounds like one of the hotter women with tons of options & just doling out sht-tests.

 

Stay the course, if he said he would contact you, let him. he don't contact you then you know he was just playing you.

 

I mean seriously, who casually asks someone they hardly know to take a trip to france?

 

sounds like something a con-man would say when trying to woo a woman.

RebelWithoutACause Established Member

RebelWithoutACause

Posted
Posted

What exactly is your question? If it's whether he's into you - no, he doesn't seem actively interested in you. Don't initiate any more facebook conversations, or anything else for that matter.

 

If you're asking why he's gone off you, who knows. Most likely he wasn't that into you to begin with. He's probably meeting 3 or 4 new women a week.

The point is you've expanded too much mental energy already for someone who probably doesn't even remember your name.

 

Move on.

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penguino Member

penguino

Posted
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Posted (edited)

Yeah. You're right. I need to move on. I feel hurt, but I know I've done similar things to other people - phasing them out because I didn't feel a 'spark'- and now it's my turn to feel that pain. Thanks guys.

Edited by penguino
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