why rules can be silly when it comes to dating and feelings

[hestheone66]

I have been a regular contributor and reader here as I was trying to figure out a few of my significant romantic relationship issues..

i am pleased to report that the ups and downs of my original reason for joining the forum - massively complicated issue involving a player of sorts... has been replaced with a stable but still unconventional situation involving the guy I'm seeing now.

 

Although some readers may be aware I'm in a non exclusive, yet delightfully intense and romantic 'thing' with the man who loves me, I wanted to share that being perfectly honest and open, despite the power trips that may leave you exposed, opens the way to a naturally evolving romance.

 

We met online a little more than 18 months ago. I had my rules.. I wasn't looking for anything more than FWB, heavy on B light on the F.. my rules for that being seeing each other rarely, no kissing and not involving each other with 'our lives' .. just sex in a respectful way.

 

Lucky for him, he agreed with these rules, sufficient for me to continue to trust him.. the first meeting was awkward as he's quite shy. We had discussed a few topics of interst by email but nothing personal. He tried to kiss me but I wouldn't have any of it.. he took me out for a meal a few days later and then back to his place.. I had the best sex of my life.. we were totally open and passionate with each other.. but I'm no stranger to ONS so I knew I had a keeper in the bedroom at least..it was a 6 hour marathon of multiple acts of sex, him taking the time to please me, and always 100% respectful but not in a weak way.

the very next night he messaged me asking for more..

the sexual connection is intense to the point that I feel my heart has orgasms now. We are seeing each other several times a week.. without fail as soon as he's left my side, no matter how drained I've left him.. he will tell me he cannot wait to be inside me or with me again.. his desire is insatiable. and so is mine.

Although experts will tell you that connections based on chemistry alone are not abiding. there are exceptions.. deep lasting connection with a partner is rare, and it doesn't matter how the connection is established, if it is genuine.. i think having one's guard up emotionally is a great way to not get seduced or used just for sex.. but if you are both in it to seek out ways to constantly improve the intimacy and connection , then it's just mindblowing..

so.. for ladies... if you give yourself to a man because it's a ONS, do it with a mind that you are not seeking to 'trap' him or manipulate him into being in a relationship.. give of yourself because you want to .

 

also as i mentioned, we are non exclusive.. but as far as our schedules go, spend most of our spare time with each other.. knowing we are free to pursue others seems to make the other one more valuable so we never take them for granted.

[Appleness]

I have one personal (hard) rule which is that I don't tolerate cheating.

 

As far as rules for (us), I found 3 rules from another post that I think will work out well so I applied them too:

 

1) We promise not to take each other for granted.

2) We promise to always have good manners to each other.

3) We promise to not ask each other hard questions before we've each had our morning coffee. Should there be mornings where, one of us decides NOT to have coffee, we have to make it known so that they can be aware of the impending crankiness.

 

That's all.