whisperoftheheart Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 Basically I am a female dumpee, after 2.5 year relationship. No real reason given bar 'I cant do it anymore'. Few moths post breakup. The last time I saw my ex (to hand back stuff), he didnt let me apologise for my ways towards the end which I perhaps was a bit distant looking back but otherwise I did my best. Well I tried and he just kept on telling me 'You have no need to be sorry', 'its not your fault' and 'Please dont apologise'. If I have 'no need to be sorry' which to me says I did nothing wrong, why end it like he did? Frustrating! Any thoughts? Is he just being nice so to speak? Or maybe it just didn't work for him even though I did my all. Perspective needed! Thanks
blotter Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 (edited) You have to remember a break up is a LOT different for dumpers than dumpees. Dumpers don't sit around at home crying, dwelling, thinking about the what if's and where it went wrong. They are going out, hanging out with friends, talking to new females, moving on with their lives. In all honesty, they don't give a $hit about you anymore and could care less about your apologies. He's thinking about the friends he's going to hang out with or the girl he's going to call later on after he gets his stuff back. To him your apologies are just annoying. Edited July 5, 2013 by blotter 1
travelonic Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 ...they don't give a $hit about you anymore and couldn't care less about your apologies.. Fix'd /GrammarNazi
Talulah Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 I tried to apologize to my ex as well but only because he said in anger that I did stuff wrong. Then, he later told me that it wasn't my fault and that there was no need for apologies. He always made sure that I never apologized again after that. I think that it makes dumpers feel sooo much worse when you apologize because they're the ones who dumped you and are at fault for making you feel bad. Especially, if you did not do anything wrong. I did this with my now ex and I could see the guilt in his eyes. Your ex just doesn't want to feel guilty.
Ordinaryday Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 by telling you that you have no need to apologise it helps to assuage any guilt they may feel. it's basically another way of saying "it's not you, it's me". it is different for the dumper and dumpee. I have had a few DUMPERS contact me down the line to apologise for how they acted, but they don't want me back, they just want to apologise to ease their conscience. depending on how I feel, I either tell them to f!ck off, or just ignore them.
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