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How long does it take to stop thinking about AP?


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Posted
CD - did XMOM every have a conversation (post DDAY) with your husband? If so, how did that go?

 

He confronted us both in person on DDay. H and OM exchanged some texts to clear up some business, and met up in person for the same reason, in Feb, i think. I don't think they really talked about the A, except apparently OM double-checked that I wasn't pregnant or anything. They were supposed to meet in July, but never did.

 

I discussed this last one here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/infidelity/404953-bs-wants-declare-war-ap

Posted

Well, at least they met. Maybe, even though the hurt and betrayal were immense, he got the questions answered he needed to and an apology?

 

I know my husband was the same way. He wanted to beat the crap out of him. He spoke with him one time on the phone for 5 minutes, the day my husband found out. But they never met. I met with his BS at least twice and exchanged a few emails and texts.

 

Even though he was extremely angry, now he is sad. The fact that XMOM never, ever apologized or ever had the guts to face him I think is really hard on him.

  • Author
Posted
Well, at least they met. Maybe, even though the hurt and betrayal were immense, he got the questions answered he needed to and an apology?

 

I know my husband was the same way. He wanted to beat the crap out of him. He spoke with him one time on the phone for 5 minutes, the day my husband found out. But they never met. I met with his BS at least twice and exchanged a few emails and texts.

 

Even though he was extremely angry, now he is sad. The fact that XMOM never, ever apologized or ever had the guts to face him I think is really hard on him.

 

I don't think he got an apology or got his questions answered. OM was all about minimizing. Even on DDay, he lied and told H that we had only had sex 3 times (the number agreed upon the second time we discussed open relationships), and that we'd just gotten carried away. He blamed it all on biology. I think he had a very real fear of being beat up, and all he was thinking about was protecting his own ass.

 

I was a bit sad that they didn't end up getting together in July, because I think it could've been beneficial to H to get his questions answered, and hopefully get that apology.

 

But the way he was feeling at that time, it looked more like he was in danger of beating him up, rather than getting what he needed to heal. :/

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