Alys Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 Hi, I'm just looking for someone who could give me some advice or just general opinions on my situation, I would really appreciate it. Well basically, I was in a long distance relationship for a year and a half (bear in mind I'm only young and he was my first boyfriend). After about a year and a few months I was really struggling with depression and attempted suicide. Before this I had told him how I was feeling and he encouraged me to get help and made me promise I would never 'try anything' while I was still with him. He came to see me as soon as he could but got angry with me for breaking my promise. As time went on I wasn't getting much better and I became extremely clingy and attached to him. He said he couldnt deal with me being like it anymore and I felt bad for treating him like that so we came to a mutual agreement to break up. We would still talk very occasionally and after being broken up about a month we decided to meet up for one more time as friends. I was planning to use this as a chance to say goodbye and end things on a good note but when it came to it, he made hints that we get back together so I never got a chance to say what I needed to. However, when he went home he suddenly didnt seem bothered about getting back together and I got really upset because I couldnt believe he just messed me around and we had a massive arugment. I tried to make things better the next day because I was desperate things didnt end badly between us but he said he didnt care how things end because he would never actually see me again anyway. He then just stopped replying to any messages and completely blocked me out of his life so I had no way of contacting him. He's moved on and is with another girl now but I'm really struggling to move on from this because he was such a massive part of my life and I don't understand how he could just leave and not even say goodbye. I understand why he couldnt be in a relationship with me if I was clingy but I dont understand why he wouldnt even let me say goodbye and how he could just cut me out and move on? Like he enevr once checked to even see if I was still alive, at the time I was still depressed and there could have been every possibility that I would make another attempt but he didnt seem bothered as long as I wasnt with him at the time and kept my promise. That doesnt make sense to me? Do you think he even cared about me at all if he could just leave? I'm sorry this is such a long story but if anyone could help maybe explain the story from another perspective that would be helpful! All I want to do is move on now but I feel like its impossible with all these unanswered questions I dont understand!
youngbutoldsoul Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 From the information you shared, I wil attempt to share my perspective but keep in mind you may never know the entire truth, perhaps not even HE will have answers to some of your questions. You have to find a way to make peace with it and move on for YOUR well-being. I am certain that he DID care for you, hence being able to commit to that amount of time. However, maybe he doesn't HAVE THE CAPACITY to care for you and your clinginess/depression problems because his actions spoke louder than his words. He made the decision to walk out of your life because 1) he does not want to deal with those issues anymore and more importantly 2) he doesn't care ENOUGH to want to get through them. My advice to you is to find support and help to detach yourself from Clinginess and Depression and battle them because I too have dealt with those two monsters before and it tremendously affected my personal life because I couldn't be the BEST POSSIBLE version of myself and it pushed men away. Take care and feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to. You ARE VERY IMPORTANT and you must NOT hurt yourself over ONE guy (out of BILLIONS of PEOPLE).
LosingHope0806 Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 I do not know how old you are but I pray that you are still seeking the help you need to address your depression and suicidal thoughts. Now my thoughts... I'm sure that he cared, but he probably didn't understand to the full extent your psychological problems. Most people aren't equipped to deal with people with mental problems and instead of sticking it out they run away. I really believe this is what he did. He witnessed first hand how deep you were into it and probably realized that he could not help you and it scared him. And his way of dealing with this was to cut all communication with you and move on with his life. I'm sorry this has happened to you. But all those unanswered questions that you have need to remain unanswered. I'm sure he cared hun, but he didn't care enough to give you what you wanted and needed and I'm sorry. But you need to continue seeking help and get yourself to a better place mentally! When you do that you will see that he is not your world. But yet you have yet to experience the "world." 2
Laur3n Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 I do not know how old you are but I pray that you are still seeking the help you need to address your depression and suicidal thoughts. Now my thoughts... I'm sure that he cared, but he probably didn't understand to the full extent your psychological problems. Most people aren't equipped to deal with people with mental problems and instead of sticking it out they run away. I really believe this is what he did. He witnessed first hand how deep you were into it and probably realized that he could not help you and it scared him. And his way of dealing with this was to cut all communication with you and move on with his life. I'm sorry this has happened to you. But all those unanswered questions that you have need to remain unanswered. I'm sure he cared hun, but he didn't care enough to give you what you wanted and needed and I'm sorry. But you need to continue seeking help and get yourself to a better place mentally! When you do that you will see that he is not your world. But yet you have yet to experience the "world." I agree with LosingHope0806
for666 Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 i suffered something close you i stop'd using drags in one hit and i got hard core depression and just need'd that help i guess you'r not clingy or need'e i know i'm not but be-cos i was in this weird mental stage that i cant satesfie my self anymore cos i got used to drag ( they made me happy not i am) i became little needy and just wanted more attention cos i need'd it to get true it well she just dumped me for no particular reason except i don't love you anymore it was devastating and still is i'm trying my best to heal and i have to say time do heal it will heal don't woryy how long its gonna take it can take a year but you will heal i know what you feel now you are in the lowest point of you'r emotional stability and you get hit by the most hardest way there is i don't wish it to anyone but let me ashore you he did love you but let me ask you something do you really need someone that in the first hard problem is taking his tail dawn and run away? wude you do it to him? i guess not so why do you care now? heal your self let me ashore you that if you was good and gave the max to this relationship than you the winner he just lost a person that truly loved him and its his problem be strong it will pass you will get stable get some help i know i went to get some help talk to friends go to gym or do some hobby you like try to occupy your self so you wont feel alone you gonna get true it with making your self busy and he gonna regret that i guess you did noting wrong so or he gonna regret it later cos you did the best and he did the mistake or he wasn't meant for you but don't dwell on it be the best you can and you eventually get the best you deserve
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