sandra89 Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 My boyfriend recently dumped me. We hadn't been dating that long (several months), but we'd been casual friends for quite awhile before that. Until recently, I thought we were really good together and the break up really threw me. Based on the break up, I think that my now-ex might just be in a bad place in his life and didn't feel like he could handle the relationship anymore... but I'd like to get some feedback. He said he was breaking up with me because we "jumped into the relationship" and he just didn't think I was right for him. He basically said he wasn't feeling it anymore, but that it was nothing I did. It's weird because he never seemed to doubt the relationship before. And if he didn't think we were a good fit, I feel like that's something he would have noticed in the first month or two. The thing that gets me is that he always seemed really into me until a few weeks before the break up. He would talk about things we'd do together in the future (that we'd go to see a movie that hasn't come out yet, etc) and he even mentioned possibly moving in to an apartment right by mine in my complex (this was about three weeks before the break up). If he was doubting the relationship as a whole, I don't think he'd have said these things so recently. Another red flag for me is that he's kind of down on himself. He's quiet and keeps most emotions to himself, but I can tell he isn't happy with some things in his life. He wishes he'd finished college. He doesn't have a lot of friends, and his best friend (who he lives with) is moving away soon, which will pretty much leave him without anyone to hang out with (especially since he dumped me and therefore lost my friends as well). Based on this, do you think it's possible we could get back together? I haven't spoken to him since the break up -- which went about as well as any break up could. I don't hate him at all and I think he legitimately did what he thought was right at the time, but I just don't know if he was in the best frame of mind. I just don't know how to approach him now to see how he is feeling.
Appleness Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 Second chances are always possible although in this case, you think you should take it at face value and just leave him be until things get sorted out. If he wants to be with you, he'll come to you. Don't wait for someone to validate you. Guys are like that. Lots of time, they need personal time to think things though to assess where they want to be in life. At least this guy respects you enough to not string you along for company while taking his time figuring his life out. If he sees a future with you, he'll find you. Don't initiate contact. He won't respect you for it. In the meantime, work on yourself and move on. Good luck.
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