Darren Steez Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 Sorry about that lad, but well done for having the courage to do what needed to be done. I attest to what the others said, seems crazy she can't wait for you to leave to screw this guy, now she's calling and begging. If she had the courage of her convictions, she would have just gone straight over to him, which she might eventually. But you don't need that drama in your life, especially where your little one is concerned. Good luck to you bro! Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 For some reason I always read your name as USM Chokie. Most people do... Link to post Share on other sites
SweetiePie12 Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 What I don't understand in these stories is why the cheater isn't relieved and happy that their "official" relationship is toast...why do they go pleading and begging when they can just go to their other person's place and live happily ever after...? Probably she loves them both, but feels she could only be truthful with one. Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 You need to talk to a lawyer and work out the parenting arrangements regarding your son, is he still with your mom? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 Sorry dude, Sorry you're going through this. But, she was trying to play you. Post here and post here often. It does help to vent. AND there are many tricks that Ex's use to squeeze back into our lives. You can ask for advice and see if what they're trying to do is on the "up and up" or if they are trying to manipulate you again. I have a feeling she's not done. Not by a long shot. Especially if she said something about pre-season? Makes me believe that you're some sort of athlete. Therefore, there's a good sum of money and a nice lifestyle that you could provide. She doesn't want to lose that. So, she's not done. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flaco Posted July 8, 2013 Author Share Posted July 8, 2013 You need to talk to a lawyer and work out the parenting arrangements regarding your son, is he still with your mom? That’s going be a problem since I’m only in the states for a few months (only about 3 full months). I don’t know how I’m going to make it work. My career will make speeding time with my son very hard. My sons with me now I picked him up a few hours ago Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flaco Posted July 8, 2013 Author Share Posted July 8, 2013 Sorry dude, Sorry you're going through this. But, she was trying to play you. Post here and post here often. It does help to vent. AND there are many tricks that Ex's use to squeeze back into our lives. You can ask for advice and see if what they're trying to do is on the "up and up" or if they are trying to manipulate you again. I have a feeling she's not done. Not by a long shot. Especially if she said something about pre-season? Makes me believe that you're some sort of athlete. Therefore, there's a good sum of money and a nice lifestyle that you could provide. She doesn't want to lose that. So, she's not done. I am glad I found this site it’s a great way to vent and let all out. My fiancé can be a very controlling and manipulative person she has always be able to get to do thing I wouldn’t normal do. So I don’t doubt she would try to do something to tie me up again. She can be one of the nicest peoples when things are going her way but when things don’t go her way she starts to act out. I’m a pro athlete I play football (soccer) in France. I stared playing pro when I was 18 but I dint start making a good living at till now so things were looking good everything was falling into place then she decides it would be a good idea to cheat. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 (edited) I am glad I found this site it’s a great way to vent and let all out. My fiancé can be a very controlling and manipulative person she has always be able to get to do thing I wouldn’t normal do. So I don’t doubt she would try to do something to tie me up again. She can be one of the nicest peoples when things are going her way but when things don’t go her way she starts to act out. I’m a pro athlete I play football (soccer) in France. I stared playing pro when I was 18 but I dint start making a good living at till now so things were looking good everything was falling into place then she decides it would be a good idea to cheat. Well, then....there ya go. Soccer player's get paid a hell of a lot more in Europe than they do with the MLS in the States. She's not going to want to lose that.... Is the kid yours? If it is, I would see a lawyer and see what you have to pay for child support. You can be the greatest Dad in the world! But, you don't have to be her husband. MAke sure you stay in that kid's life. Skyping, writing letter's, phonecalls and sending gifts if you can't be there. Let him or her know that they DO have a father! Edited July 8, 2013 by Chi townD 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SweetiePie12 Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 I’m a pro athlete I play football (soccer) in France. I stared playing pro when I was 18 but I dint start making a good living at till now so things were looking good everything was falling into place then she decides it would be a good idea to cheat. Oh, honey, the mademoiselles are going to be throwing themselves at you. Don't go overboard, now. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 What I don't understand in these stories is why the cheater isn't relieved and happy that their "official" relationship is toast...why do they go pleading and begging when they can just go to their other person's place and live happily ever after...? I would imagine her other boyfriend is in a relationship of some sort as well so I would not be surprised if the OP's Ex Fiance would have been thrown under the bus by the other guy too ("Hey it was just a little sex on the side, I don't want a relationship with you...after all you have a kid and you are supposed to be getting married"). lol Sad but always a very real possibility as those who cheat usually don't have a lot of long ranging plans thought out. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 I’m a pro athlete I play football (soccer) in France. I stared playing pro when I was 18 but I dint start making a good living at till now so things were looking good everything was falling into place then she decides it would be a good idea to cheat.. Your former Fiance just scored an Own Goal...does she play for Columbia? Sorry for the levity but seriously if you are playing professionally the only thing you need you really need to worry about is your child and your career. see an attorney and be made aware of all of your rights as soon as possible. I hate to say it but I agree with some of the others who told you to get a paternity test. I certainly would now if I were you. Link to post Share on other sites
freetolove Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 can you live with someone who behaves that way? If so, live on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flaco Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 It’s been a while since my last post and a lot has happened. My ex has started dating the other guy which hurts a lot after everything I have done for she goes around and act like she has done nothing wrong and accusing me cheating on her and never supporting her. She has gone as far as to say I never give her a dime and she has taken care of our son for the entire relationship. All of that being lies I have gone as far as to pay her own tuition which has been about half of my income while I was playing in the states. She has made look like a competes a-hole and a dead beat father which I’m not. That enough about her they are some good things that have happened. I and my ex seem to have come with way to share our son equal. My ex will still have him for much of the year but I do have him the complete summer which thankfully is also during my off season and I have him during Xmas. None of this is a sure thing we still have to work out the legal side which my lawyer has been great thanks my boss agent/manger he found me a great lawyer on the cheap. So that’s a little update Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flaco Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 can you live with someone who behaves that way? If so, live on. I can’t and I won’t that’s why we are not together 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flaco Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 Well, then....there ya go. Soccer player's get paid a hell of a lot more in Europe than they do with the MLS in the States. She's not going to want to lose that.... Is the kid yours? If it is, I would see a lawyer and see what you have to pay for child support. You can be the greatest Dad in the world! But, you don't have to be her husband. MAke sure you stay in that kid's life. Skyping, writing letter's, phonecalls and sending gifts if you can't be there. Let him or her know that they DO have a father! Yeah in France I’m going to get paid tripe of what I was getting her which wasn’t a lot. To make thing better the contract is a short one only 2 years so if I make a good impression I will be able to renegotiate my contract and possible get more money. My lawyer made it so that I will pay a ok child support and own the months she has him I still plan to be a great dad even if I can’t be there for him every day Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flaco Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 Oh, honey, the mademoiselles are going to be throwing themselves at you. Don't go overboard, now. For some reason European girls love American guys. Seriously I got hit on by every girl that saw me I never would of thought that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flaco Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 . Your former Fiance just scored an Own Goal...does she play for Columbia? Sorry for the levity but seriously if you are playing professionally the only thing you need you really need to worry about is your child and your career. see an attorney and be made aware of all of your rights as soon as possible. I hate to say it but I agree with some of the others who told you to get a paternity test. I certainly would now if I were you. Nope just some white trash that I have to call the mother of my son My father told me the same thing. Even if the kids not mine doesn’t really matter to me at this point he my son Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Well, your Ex is Demonizing you. It's common. She's trying to make you the bad guy here to try to ease her guilt about what she did. To justify her actions because you're (apparently) an asshat. So, you're going to be making triple in France than what you did in the States. That's awesome! Seriously, you need to be on your A game over there. Work your ass off. And if you get your picture in any of the sporting mags over there, make sure you mail them to your son. This is important so your son can see what you are doing and why you're not there. Send him a DVD of some of the things you do in the games. He can watch you score a goal and hear the crowd go nuts! (unless you're a goalie or a D-man) Always call him, Skype him or write letters. Send him some cool gifts from France. BE INVOLVED AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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