MorganDreamer Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 I have been texting with this guy for a year now. And we are planing on meeting one another one of these days. I am a senior student, and I have 8 months to go until I finish my Bachelor's degree. Well I'm keeping it secret about visiting him next March, this plan is processed and I am doing it on my own. He told me that he would wait for me to get there, and he wouldn't date because he didn't want anything in-between us when we meet. I am totally in love with this guy, a stranger that I've never met. He is not my type, not at all, but he has my heart. Because those months of beautiful times texting and calling. I love him with all my heart. He is very nice guy, well I wish he was this guy in real person. I really can't wait to finish school to get to meet him. I am dying to meet him, and I am doing my best at classes, to be my best self. I am counting down, 8 months is not too long to wait, and I know time will fly pass by so fast as it always does. I will be 22, (total adult) when we meet. I am so excited, wondering what it would be, or how it would feel. Guys!! 8 months for me to go. Please wish me luck ... Thank you
HeavenOrHell Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 I would seriously rethink all this, I'm concerned about you, in another thread you said >He honestly answered me when I asked him if he was still into his ex. He told me that he was still in love with her, but he hated her, and if she came back begging him to be with her again, he wouldn't go back. I read him and I know he is so much still in love with her. But he told me that he loved me, this is complicated and kind of confusing situation. I got hurt that time I heard the true, but I didn't tell him. My friends told me not to worry about his past, because that is the past. They said I should focus on how he feels for me, but I can't. I am so sensitive, and that is my weakness. How can he really love me when he is in love with his ex? I don't know what he is thinking, or what he is feeling. I want to figure it out, but I don't want to ask him. It bugs me so much to know that those 5 years didn't heal him at all. Those 5 years didn't remove her out of his heart at all. I just want to know why ... I can't get myself the best answer, so I need someone who can help me. Anybody please, if anyone of you used to face this situation like I do, please help me. I need the advices. It haunts me... < I think for your own sanity you should walk away from him...and hopefully in time you'll meet someone nearer to your own age/maturity. I have been texting with this guy for a year now. And we are planing on meeting one another one of these days. I am a senior student, and I have 8 months to go until I finish my Bachelor's degree. Well I'm keeping it secret about visiting him next March, this plan is processed and I am doing it on my own. He told me that he would wait for me to get there, and he wouldn't date because he didn't want anything in-between us when we meet. I am totally in love with this guy, a stranger that I've never met. He is not my type, not at all, but he has my heart. Because those months of beautiful times texting and calling. I love him with all my heart. He is very nice guy, well I wish he was this guy in real person. I really can't wait to finish school to get to meet him. I am dying to meet him, and I am doing my best at classes, to be my best self. I am counting down, 8 months is not too long to wait, and I know time will fly pass by so fast as it always does. I will be 22, (total adult) when we meet. I am so excited, wondering what it would be, or how it would feel. Guys!! 8 months for me to go. Please wish me luck ... Thank you 1
HeavenOrHell Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 And this> met him online a year ago, we admitted to each other that we were in love with each other, we text everyday. He is a nice person, and he makes me happy like a sunshine to me. I am 21 and he is 35, he completely changed my dating vision forever. ... but this is what I am going to ask you guys for the advice ... I have this girl as a friend of mine, she is 16 and we are so close. I was the person who introduced my guy and my friend together, because I wanted them to be friends, I mainly wanted my friend to like my guy tho, because she didn't think I should date a 35yold guy I met online at the first place, so well I made them friends and they are friends now... BUT the thing is I started to be jealous because they are texting each other a lot, my guy started to send my friend his pictures, and when she was sad he was there to comfort her. My friend and I were in trouble recently, and she just quitted texting me for like 2days, then she came back. She came back, and told me that she missed me a lot, and apologised to me for texting my guy. She said, that day she was sad, and she couldn't text me, so she texted him. She told me that he said sweet things to her, but it was not that way. She showed me their conversations, she said she needed hug and he said "huuuug" back!!! ... I kinda know from deep inside that they are just friends, but I just can't stop thinking about this. I might be thinking too much as who I am a really thoughtful person. My guy is my friend's father's age, so I'm sure that he isn't flirting with her, he would be nuts to flirt with a girl who is 20 years younger, and I think I know him enough. But I doubt it, do I really know him at all? he is just a guy I met online, maybe the way he texts was an illusion. Anybody please give me advice, I'm so blind, I don't know what to do, or how to handle it. I stopped texting both of them right now because I need a space, but I have been sad all the time ...< You need to walk as far away as possible from him. 1
LittleTiger Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 Guys!! 8 months for me to go. Please wish me luck ... Thank you Sorry, but I can't wish you luck. You are 21 years old! You should not be putting your life on hold for a 35 year old man you have never met. You have no idea if he is actually the person he says he is and you are clearly naïve enough for him to take advantage. Even if he does turn out to be as 'nice' as you think he is, what happens if you get there and there is zero chemistry? Who are you keeping the visit secret from? Not your friends and family I hope!!! If you are planning to meet someone who is basically a stranger - no matter how well you think you know him - it is absolutely ESSENTIAL that you tell your family and friends exactly where you are going and when, and with whom - they need his personal details (full name, address, phone numbers) and details of his family too. Have you had any contact with members of his family? I have a very bad feeling about this - you come across as way too innocent for my liking and I suspect you are walking into something that you are not equipped to handle. Please think again!!! 1
HeavenOrHell Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 Very good point! I thought she meant she was going to surprise him with with the visit, didn't occur to me she might be keeping it from her family/friends-very bad idea and potentially dangerous. PLEASE think very carefully and rationally about what you are doing OP. Sorry, but I can't wish you luck. You are 21 years old! You should not be putting your life on hold for a 35 year old man you have never met. You have no idea if he is actually the person he says he is and you are clearly naïve enough for him to take advantage. Even if he does turn out to be as 'nice' as you think he is, what happens if you get there and there is zero chemistry? Who are you keeping the visit secret from? Not your friends and family I hope!!! If you are planning to meet someone who is basically a stranger - no matter how well you think you know him - it is absolutely ESSENTIAL that you tell your family and friends exactly where you are going and when, and with whom - they need his personal details (full name, address, phone numbers) and details of his family too. Have you had any contact with members of his family? I have a very bad feeling about this - you come across as way too innocent for my liking and I suspect you are walking into something that you are not equipped to handle. Please think again!!! 1
Carenth Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 I have to agree with everyone else in that I can not wish you luck with this. As there are many things that are very off and I find rather concerning. I think you are very naive in the ways of the world. Too trusting and I'm worried you may be walking into something you don't expect. You seem to have basically disregarded anything negative you have found to keep up this fantasy man you have built in your head. Which is just going to end in massive hurt feelings and resentment when you do meet him and it's not a fairy tail like you had planned. From what you have written in other threads there is a plenty of red flags with this guy and I believe he is just taking advantage of you. Hell he doesn't even have to do anything you are offering yourself up to him without a second thought. For goodness sake make sure you tell your friends and family about where you are going... 2
Phantom888 Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 Oh no... you are into him too deeply, and nothing anyone says would deter you. Im sorry. You are gonna have to learn this the hard way, but it breaks my heart to know that a nice young girl is getting herself into a mess. This man is not good for you. Think about it. What would make a normal 35 year old man attracted to a 21 year old girl? You are barely an adult. You don't really know him without spending time with him. I know this from personal experience. I married my penpal (from across the world away) when I was 23. We had written each other and talked on the phone for almost 3 years. She ended up being NOTHING what she claimed to be. I wish I had been more clear-headed, but I had to learn it on my own, just like you will. The age difference wasn't even a factor for us...she was only 3 years older. You have a man who likes young girls, and whom you really don't know. Statistically speaking, your chances of having a successful relationship with him is close to zero. If money is tight, you should just save yourself from this trip. I wish you well.
CA2TN4Love Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 I agree. Under no circumstances should you meet a stranger without telling someone where you're going and who you're seeing. I met an online friend in person and my mom insisted that I provide his vital information (name, address, phone number, license plate number, vehicle description, etc.), and I was 37 years old! But I did it because we do not live in a safe society, enclosed in a bubble. People can be evil. None of the women that have been raped or murdered by someone they met online ever predicted that outcome. Don't be blind to the possibilities! In regards to your relationship, be very careful with your heart. If you are questioning his motives, there is probably a very valid reason. You are young and trusting. You do not have the life lessons that some of us do. You don't even have the life lessons that your SO does, so please don't take the advice given above lightly. These are people that have "been there, done that" and can provide you valuable insight. You haven't even met this guy in person. He may very well be a kind and loving man; however, he may also be a total creep (texting and comforting your 16 year old friend would creep me out!). Just keep in mind that he may not be everything he's portraying. It wouldn't be the first time someone portrayed themselves online as someone they're not. Just keep that in the back of your mind. It could help spare you a broken heart.
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