CARL45 Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 I recently went out on a date with a woman. When had funny a lot of laughs, touching and rapport. At the end she told me that she felt bad because she didn't have any free time because she was studying for the bar. I asked her if she had the weekend and she said no. We decided to meet up the next month and chat over text. Something told me I had made a really bad decision. It was confirmed by a friend that explained to me that i failed this woman's test. He said if she was really that into you she would be able to have another date. He said no one can study 24/7. The funny thing is this has happened to me before. I was dating a business woman who said she couldn't date because she had training and I would have to wait until she's free and I said sure. Now I feel with every time I date I learn something new. Anyone with any advice?
KatZee Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 I honestly don't see how this is a "test." Are you aware just how labor intensive, how hard, and how dedicated you need to be in studying for the bar exam? It's a BRUTAL test, one that the majority will.not.pass. Since she doesn't even know you, you're damn right studying comes before more dates with you. She was straight up with you. She agreed to a date, and then was honest by saying she's currently studying for the bar. I know tons of people who have studied for the bar and they pretty much had no lives up until the day of the test. Your friend sounds like an idiot. I'd stay away from him for relationship "advice." She already agreed to keep in contact and that she will be able to go out again once this is over. So be understanding, let her study for this exam, let her do well, and proceed when it's over. 1
KathyM Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 I'm going to have to disagree with the poster above. Although some people are extremely busy and don't have much time for dating, if they are interested, they will make time and find some way to see you, even if it is just for an hour to meet up somewhere, or go for a cup of coffee or whathaveyou once or twice a week. She may not have a lot of time for dating, but if she's interested she will make the time to see you in some way. Making an excuse that she cannot see you at all because of studying or work or other business is just a blow off because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings and come right out and say she's not interested in dating you. 2
white Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 If they wanted to make the time they could. That's a rule, unfortunately. When you ask and they say they have no time or can't come up with a time or they're super busy right now, that's a no. They're letting you down more gently than saying "no go away". Even if they are incredibly busy if they want to meet you they will. Couple hours or less can be found in anyones week.
Imported Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 I honestly don't see how this is a "test." Are you aware just how labor intensive, how hard, and how dedicated you need to be in studying for the bar exam? It's a BRUTAL test, one that the majority will.not.pass. Since she doesn't even know you, you're damn right studying comes before more dates with you. She was straight up with you. She agreed to a date, and then was honest by saying she's currently studying for the bar. I know tons of people who have studied for the bar and they pretty much had no lives up until the day of the test. She had enough time to go out with someone she knew even less than before. Now that she met him, she is far too busy. She is not being straight up. What makes more sense: 1) She had enough time to go out with the OP that one night, but suddenly for the foreseeable future, she can't see him at all...well....maybe next month, she'll text him about it then....yeah. Or 2) She had enough time to go out with OP, was not interested and made a lame excuse. She won't text him next month and if he bothers to text her, she will have another excuse. If another guy presents himself to her during these times when she is so extremely busy, she'll probably have time enough to go out on a date with them.
Mrlonelyone Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 I'm going to disagree. I went on an online date with a woman and kinda liked her earlier this month. She was into me and wanted to set up a second date on the first date. I really truly could not go on another date until a week and a half latter because I was preparing to defend my MS thesis.
white Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 A week and a half is not a month+, and nobody is preparing to defend their MS thesis every day forever.
JustJana Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 There was a guy I liked once who I agreed to go out with even though I left on assignment for 6 weeks right after. He thought I wasn't interested because I couldn't go out again til I got back even though I told him why and when I'd be free. Guess now I understand why he felt that way. I went the first time because I DID like him & didn't want to wait to see if there was something there til I got back. 1
crude Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 I'm not quite so quick to say she's not interested at all. Give it one more try. Something like you stopping by for 20 minutes to give her a relaxing massage before she gets back to studying. If she says no to that, then it's certain she doesn't want you. People sometimes generalize that someone who says they don't have time really do but just aren't into you. Tell that to a medical intern who works 30 hour shifts.
Southern Cal Dude Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 No one is that busy, not even doctors. If someone is that interested, they'll make time, even if it's for only 5 minutes.
Joaquin Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 Let her contact you next. But don't hold your breath.
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