Talulah Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 My story is a bit different. I am currently an English teacher abroad, my ex and I met while working at our last job. At first, we weren't impressed with each other but we spent lots of time together (we lived right next door to each other as well) we hooked up one night and got together. There was an understanding that we would both be leaving at the end of the year. The relationship itself was good, it could have been better. He went hot and cold on me, this was ok since we were both leaving anyway. Then, I fell in love with him. I clearly remember one night, him walking into my room and it was amazing. Around April (we started dating in August), I had some issues with my contract at work, I got a better offer and they wouldn't let me go, we spent all week together and he freaked out on me and told me that we practically live together and that he has never lived with anyone before and that it wasn't my fault and it was totally his. I backed away. Then he told me that he would be moving to another country for work, he was afraid to tell me, but I was happy for him, I did cry a bit but I was ok with it. We then were still friends and then he changed. He became an ass the last month, especially the last two weeks. I was so hurt, he told me that he felt guilty for hurting me and I cried a lot. During the relationship he told me that he did not much about girls and that he wanted to change. Then one day he got mad and told me that he would change for anybody but me. While he was in this country he slept around a lot (like other people who come here do) and he thinks that he might have gotten a girl pregnant(who had an abortion). During the last week, I gave him a gift (because we all had to do it for work), and some pictures of him and his sports team, him and my cat. He came to our school on his last day, then I walked him out and I asked him when we would see each other again, he said that he didn't know. He told me to call him the day after (I was going to the capital city for a doctor's appointment) so we could hang out. And that was it. Funny thing is later that last day, he called me to ask if he could come into my apartment to fix a box which he desperately needed to send. He knows the code to it. Yet about two months before he changed the code to his door to get much more needed privacy. I never played that game and did not changed mine. And no matter how much distance he tried to put between us, he still needed me. I never called him that day, it's been 5 of NC. He is currently on vacation in Southeast Asia. I'm not expecting him to miss me, I'd like to know that he still cares. Maybe he doesn't, it's hard but I miss him like hell. He was my best friend, he does keep in touch with 2 of his exes, and to everyone else is a pretty likeable guy, well except for being mean the last couple of weeks. He is a great guy. I just feel like I've lost my best friend. Cheers
Appleness Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 I know it sounds cliche but these things do happen for a reason. Sometimes conflicts arise so you can see their true colors. I know you think highly of him but he sounds like a mess (based on what you wrote). You're an educator. You have a responsibility to set an example because you have students who look up to you. I don't care if you say that no one ever pays attention. There is ALWAYS that one person who pays attention and sees you falling apart. This guy is not worth it. He sounds very irresponsible. One of our biggest flaws as women is that we care too much and fall in love too easily. Take your power back and control how you react to this. Be the stronger one and move on. You're not losing your best friend. He's not dead. He made a choice to go on vacation while leaving you to suffer. Hang in there and keep posting. You deserve better. 2
Author Talulah Posted July 5, 2013 Author Posted July 5, 2013 Thank you Appleness! I am hanging in there. I have just let go of it and let him contact me if he ever wants to. What I regret is what I read with guys like him is that they gain respect if you end it with them first. He even told me in the end, maybe I won't miss him. Sucks. He was hoping that I would stop caring, so he wouldn't have to feel bad. I am on Day 6 of NC and I am actually getting over it! I feel a bit scared though that I am getting over it so fast. Is that bad? Does it mean that I did not really love him?
LimeBlue Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 I am in a somewhat similar situation - except there was never any romantic relationship in my case. It was only friendship with the difference of me being the female of the species and him being the male of the species. He out right ended our friendship a few days ago and I am left reeling. What hurts is that I feel he does not give a damn and has not given it another thought. He was the only person on the planet I could talk to about anything, and now it is gone. I will not make contact as I am not the sort of person to go running after anyone (be it friend, lover, co worker, whatever), so this is it and I am left devastated.
Author Talulah Posted July 8, 2013 Author Posted July 8, 2013 I am in a somewhat similar situation - except there was never any romantic relationship in my case. It was only friendship with the difference of me being the female of the species and him being the male of the species. He out right ended our friendship a few days ago and I am left reeling. What hurts is that I feel he does not give a damn and has not given it another thought. He was the only person on the planet I could talk to about anything, and now it is gone. I will not make contact as I am not the sort of person to go running after anyone (be it friend, lover, co worker, whatever), so this is it and I am left devastated. Hi Limeblue, sorry I meant to read your story a long time ago. Losing my best friend was difficult. Being that I am abroad, I meet a lot of people here so, I have been spending a lot of time with my co-worker. But yesterday, it was extremely difficult. I felt a horrible void when I was coming back home. It seems still that if I don't talk to him at the end of the day, nothing is o.k. And the pain was very raw and real. My only consolation is that I hope that he feels this void as well. I think that losing a friend is worse than losing a love. I miss him terribly. I hope that you are doing alright.
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