irc333 Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 Some are on the side of the coin, that if there's no initial spark or attraction RIGHT on the first meet.....they wont' even consider a FIRST date with them. While others will "give it a shot" "He seemed nice, sweet, and stable....so I agreed to a date with him". Reason I ask is, I think that's what motivates women to date me....it's usually the stable ones that are a bit on the rational side that doesn't necessarily have to go "ga-ga" on the first meet. The one that recently is going out with me is this way it seems.
Emilia Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 it's usually the stable ones that are a bit on the rational side that doesn't necessarily have to go "ga-ga" on the first meet. or she feels it but doesn't show it 2
Appleness Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 IMHO, the reasons/ criteria is different between online versus having met in person. For online, I read profiles and look at pictures. I look at what he writes as for as what motivates him (his goals) and what his usual activities are (do I see myself with someone who does these things). The pictures are more for the purpose of whether he took time to post a decent picture as opposed to a self-portrait in his bathroom mirror. In person, I look at how he interacts with other people. He could be a bit shy and reserved but is he kind? Does he have good manners? How do other people react to him? That sort of thing. Personally, I want someone who will take me seriously and actually likes woman. If a guy can't be bothered to post anything more than the generic " I like sports, beer, and a good woman" comment, how can we tel you apart from the other 100 guys who post the same thing? What separates you from the pack? Even if he said " I like watching sports, drinking and brewing my own beer, and a good woman who isn't afraid to eat some good BBQ" at least that gives you something to work with. Don't post pictures of body parts (even if you have great abs) and don't show drunk pictures. In social situations, always be on your best behavior and be approachable. Basically, the rules are the same for men and woman. Whatever you think will attract you to a woman on the first impression, those same things usually go for guys, I guess.
RedRobin Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 He has been previously vetted in some way through friends/family/work as someone who is trustworthy and relationship oriented... and I can imagine being in a relationship with him. Otherwise, the answer is no... or I give him some reason why I'm not ready to date at the moment.
KatZee Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 When the guy I'm currently seeing asked me out on a first date, I agreed based on his looks. He was cute to me, we had a great night talking, dancing, laughing... when he asked me out an hour later I said yes. Any guy that's able to cut loose with me, have a great time, get up and dance out of no where... you can get a date with me. It's what's happening on those subsequent dates which keeps me coming back for more. Are we clicking? If he being respectful of me? Are the conversations good? It's the subsequent dates where I'm really analyzing him. Body language, how he interacts with other people, his hygiene, is he self absorbed or is he trying to learn about me?
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 I'm interested in him, could be for a myriad of reasons.
tbf Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 Reason I ask is, I think that's what motivates women to date me....it's usually the stable ones that are a bit on the rational side that doesn't necessarily have to go "ga-ga" on the first meet.I see what you did there. Does anyone else? There has to be chemistry or no date. 1
todreaminblue Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 i think a a passionate nature carries over well......that holds a certain kind of assertive confidence without being cocky ...intellectually minded a bit of depth to swim in...an openness and an ability to converse so it isnt me holding the conversation up by myself..then i can relax a bit...so ill know that first date is going to be easier and not so stilted...and yes to stability.....prmotes the feeling of safeness...deb
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 I went through a stage where I didn't have much criteria. As long as you didn't seem like a crazy person. I met a lot of interesting men, it was kind of fun saying yes to people I would normally say no too, I had a few pleasant surprises! Lol Now, it would be based on how comfortable I feel. Make me laugh, come off as endearing, and generally be an honest good person an ill go on a first date. I never guarantee things going farther than that though.
Author irc333 Posted July 5, 2013 Author Posted July 5, 2013 I see what you did there. Does anyone else? There has to be chemistry or no date. Obviously, no one saw what I did here...sorry to say, you're reading too much into it.
shexy Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 If it's someone from OLD, I'll agree to a date if it's someone that I've talked on the phone with enough to get a taste of what his personality and sense of humor is like. I"m not hung up on looks, and most OLD dating pix guys post are horrible, so as long as they don't look like a serial killer or skuzz bucket, I'll go out with them to see what happens. If it's someone I meet IRL, it's the same thing, there has to be a great personality and a good sense of humor. I don't need to immediately feel like I want to rip someone's clothes off, but attraction and chemistry are important in a relationship. So if I feel absolutely no attraction at all, I still might go out with them once or twice to see if attraction develops.
ThanhL Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 There must be a little spark for me to go on the first date with a guy. The spark can come from his look, his sense of humor, his nice personality, his stability... or it could be his nice background sometimes. The last guy I dated with was interesting to me during our email exchange (met him on a dating site) because he looked good in his photos, he seemed to be truthful in his words and had a very strong character which made me want to see if I could conquer his heart.
Phoe Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 If a guy has proper hygiene and appears to take care of himself that's all I ask of in the looks department. As long as he seems kind and genuine in his request I will happily agree. I've only turned down 2 guys and one was only because I was already seeing someone. The guy who seriously turned me off to receive the rejection played games and tried to "trick" me into a date by saying his friend wanted to date me (to find out if I was available), then said he'd come along just to hang out, then switched it up to say that it would just be me and him and his "friend" wouldn't be there and that he was trying to "get with me" it was just SUCH this really convoluted mess of a situation that really bugged me. Had he just outright asked me if I'd like to have dinner he would've been fine.
tbf Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 Obviously, no one saw what I did here...sorry to say, you're reading too much into it.So if someone doesn't want to date you, they're more likely unstable and irrational?
TheZebra Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 1. There has to be some spark, meaning, something about him that draws me to him. This can't be quantified by words. I've felt that spark from guys who were barely my height and bald, so it's clearly not just physical attraction. 2. I have to know enough about him that I see going out on a date as something promising. So if I JUST met the guy and all I know is his name... that spark has to be REALLY strong for me to say yes. If I've hung out with the guy before and already don't see a future with him (maybe we don't line up with life goals, or I can't see myself marrying him, etc), then no amount of spark will make me say yes since I know the relationship likely won't work out. EDIT: OP, being stable and rational is nice, but from the 'stable and rational' guys I've seen in OLD, they're all very mechanical and boring and choose to speak in higher language just because they can (when simpler words will do just fine).
ThanhL Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 EDIT: OP, being stable and rational is nice, but from the 'stable and rational' guys I've seen in OLD, they're all very mechanical and boring and choose to speak in higher language just because they can (when simpler words will do just fine). I agree. Those guys usually set up too many standards for girls which narrows their search range.
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