youcanever Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 My ex broke up with me 6 weeks ago. I did NC for 3 weeks and then she called, we talked but it was a talk like she was just letting her feelings go. Told me she will send my stuff back (been 2 weeks and she still haven't done it) but at the end I was so hurt by her talk that I told her not to contact me again. I don't want to be her friend, I want to be her boyfriend. Anyway, 2 weeks past and now I'm sitting on couch watching TV, and I suddenly start to cry to nonsense things. While I cry my ex doesn't come to my mind but I cry and can't stop it. What is that? Why is this happening? Also I'm a guy, and we have 5 months relationship and it has been almost 6 weeks after break up and I am still not over her. Is this normal? What is wrong with me?
Exitleft Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 My ex broke up with me 6 weeks ago. I did NC for 3 weeks and then she called, we talked but it was a talk like she was just letting her feelings go. Told me she will send my stuff back (been 2 weeks and she still haven't done it) but at the end I was so hurt by her talk that I told her not to contact me again. I don't want to be her friend, I want to be her boyfriend. Anyway, 2 weeks past and now I'm sitting on couch watching TV, and I suddenly start to cry to nonsense things. While I cry my ex doesn't come to my mind but I cry and can't stop it. What is that? Why is this happening? Also I'm a guy, and we have 5 months relationship and it has been almost 6 weeks after break up and I am still not over her. Is this normal? What is wrong with me? It's normal Let it out, it doesn't matter. It sounds like sooner or later you will get tired of it and pick yourself up again. Just don't let it depress you too long, get active and speak to someone you trust. I know it may not help much, we're all in the same boat. But I think it sounds like you're doing well with maintaining NC, keep it up.
Author youcanever Posted July 4, 2013 Author Posted July 4, 2013 It's normal Let it out, it doesn't matter. It sounds like sooner or later you will get tired of it and pick yourself up again. Just don't let it depress you too long, get active and speak to someone you trust. I know it may not help much, we're all in the same boat. But I think it sounds like you're doing well with maintaining NC, keep it up. Yes,when we broke up she told me not to write her and I kept that promise for 3 weeks and as I said she called. Now after the call it has been 2 weeks again. I have some urges to write her time to time but it is not that strong as first weeks. It is getting less and less. I have 2 fears.. 1) I'm really scared to run by her on the street one day. Because I lost some weight and I'm still not over her. I don't want her to see me and think like she is the winner. 2) Seriously, there are lots of girls on the planet. Yes she was sooo selfish and so independent and so dominant but I know she never cheated on me or I'm pretty sure she is not even talking to other guys now. I feel like I did lots of things wrong too and it was all my fault for breaking up. I know it is not true but I feel like this and I feel like I lost a perfect girl. WTF is that? While we were talking on the phone 2 weeks ago, I felt nothing towards her. NOTHING.. I even wanted to hang up the phone. After the talk I was depressed and back to square one, crying, thinking of her.. And now second week I got my **** together, started gym again and started dance class.. Now I'm almost starting the 3rd week. I'm not crying over her but the idea of she will make a guy so happy one day is killing me. And I feel like I lost the perfect girl (which I know she wasn't because she was sooo selfish, it hurt a lot in past ).. Just wanted to vent.
Exitleft Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 Yes,when we broke up she told me not to write her and I kept that promise for 3 weeks and as I said she called. Now after the call it has been 2 weeks again. I have some urges to write her time to time but it is not that strong as first weeks. It is getting less and less. I have 2 fears.. 1) I'm really scared to run by her on the street one day. Because I lost some weight and I'm still not over her. I don't want her to see me and think like she is the winner. 2) Seriously, there are lots of girls on the planet. Yes she was sooo selfish and so independent and so dominant but I know she never cheated on me or I'm pretty sure she is not even talking to other guys now. I feel like I did lots of things wrong too and it was all my fault for breaking up. I know it is not true but I feel like this and I feel like I lost a perfect girl. WTF is that? While we were talking on the phone 2 weeks ago, I felt nothing towards her. NOTHING.. I even wanted to hang up the phone. After the talk I was depressed and back to square one, crying, thinking of her.. And now second week I got my **** together, started gym again and started dance class.. Now I'm almost starting the 3rd week. I'm not crying over her but the idea of she will make a guy so happy one day is killing me. And I feel like I lost the perfect girl (which I know she wasn't because she was sooo selfish, it hurt a lot in past ).. Just wanted to vent. I understand, to me everything sounds perfectly normal and you actually sound very composed to be honest. It is great that you are back at the gym and at your dance classes, this doesn't have to have you isolating yourself and it's better if it doesn't. I know how you feel about thinking of her with someone else. But if she is difficult to be with and she is hurtful, think of it as she'll be someone else's problem now Keep doing what you are doing, sounds like you are doing it right. Hope you feel better. And if you do see her, ''walk on by'' so to speak. There is really no winner in these situations. You can see on these forums about the partner who moves on quickly to rebound often they wish they had what they used to just as quickly.
Author youcanever Posted July 4, 2013 Author Posted July 4, 2013 I understand, to me everything sounds perfectly normal and you actually sound very composed to be honest. It is great that you are back at the gym and at your dance classes, this doesn't have to have you isolating yourself and it's better if it doesn't. I know how you feel about thinking of her with someone else. But if she is difficult to be with and she is hurtful, think of it as she'll be someone else's problem now Keep doing what you are doing, sounds like you are doing it right. Hope you feel better. And if you do see her, ''walk on by'' so to speak. There is really no winner in these situations. You can see on these forums about the partner who moves on quickly to rebound often they wish they had what they used to just as quickly. Yes, physical chemistry was great between us and sex was amazing too, but on the other hand she was making me so tired with her selfishness and domination. I hated that always. When I think she will make a guy happy, I'm not jealous of emotional support, I'm jealous only for physical relaxation. You know what is funny? Yes break up hurt me, and made me live in hell for couple of weeks and I still sometime desire of her but my mind is sooooo relaxed and I am so focused only on myself and to beautiful girls out on the street. I don't want her back. She is just like a bad habit or an addiction to me. Hope this will pass. Anyway, you are right, getting yourself together takes time. I even think that if I did so fast by starting the dance course, maybe I needed more time to heal.
Exitleft Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 Yes, physical chemistry was great between us and sex was amazing too, but on the other hand she was making me so tired with her selfishness and domination. I hated that always. When I think she will make a guy happy, I'm not jealous of emotional support, I'm jealous only for physical relaxation. You know what is funny? Yes break up hurt me, and made me live in hell for couple of weeks and I still sometime desire of her but my mind is sooooo relaxed and I am so focused only on myself and to beautiful girls out on the street. I don't want her back. She is just like a bad habit or an addiction to me. Hope this will pass. Anyway, you are right, getting yourself together takes time. I even think that if I did so fast by starting the dance course, maybe I needed more time to heal. There you go, you know you don't want her back. You will have physical chemistry with another woman. You might even meet one at the gym or your dance classes, someone that has something in common with you. It is not fun at all to be with someone who is selfish and it is draining and bad for your own self worth. Give yourself a little while longer and don't be afraid to cry if you want to. You already know you do not want her back so that is a very good start in my opinion.
Author youcanever Posted July 4, 2013 Author Posted July 4, 2013 There you go, you know you don't want her back. You will have physical chemistry with another woman. You might even meet one at the gym or your dance classes, someone that has something in common with you. It is not fun at all to be with someone who is selfish and it is draining and bad for your own self worth. Give yourself a little while longer and don't be afraid to cry if you want to. You already know you do not want her back so that is a very good start in my opinion. Exactly. She was draining my self respect, and then I started to become a guy who is weak and run after her. I asked about this to her that; if she was like that in her previous relationship too. She said yes. And I asked they never argued? She said no. I said wow, we argue a lot and you have 1 year relationship with him and never argued? How come? And she said, well he was agreing with everything I say.. And that bumped me. I can't have a relationship with her because I can't say yes to everything and only please her. Even at sex, she was having what she wants, she was deciding when to do it. That sucked. Yes, she was social, sings jazz songs, dances, studies, works, very good but her personality is no good for me. SHe should find a guy who will obey her. And I should find a girl who is equal as I am. Yes, since my mind is clear that I don't want her back it is easier to moving on. But as I said the urges to wanting her and the pain of thinking of her with somebody else is killing me. But, bad feelings are leaving me alone. And as I now my only fear is to run by her one day on the street. She is so beautiful and cute. I don't want to see her 1
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