USMCHokie Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Sure, when looking just at the numbers, it SEEMS like a better chance, but with so many other outside factors the reality is that it doesn't really make a difference most of the time. I suppose there are outside factors. If everyone you worked with was male, relatively attractive, single, and your age, I'm sure you'd think conditions were favorable for you. But I understand those don't often exist in many work environments.
SJC2008 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Sure, when looking just at the numbers, it SEEMS like a better chance, but with so many other outside factors the reality is that it doesn't really make a difference most of the time. Phoe don't you live in a small town where most people are coupled up anyway? I may be confusing you with someone else. If you lived in a decent size city+ city you'd get a lot more attention I can assure you that.
Phoe Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Phoe don't you live in a small town where most people are coupled up anyway? I may be confusing you with someone else. If you lived in a decent size city+ city you'd get a lot more attention I can assure you that. I do live in a small town, most people got married and had kids straight out of high school, which was not the life for me at all! I did live in a medium sized city (Santa Barbara) for a few years and still struggled to get dates. More reason for me to believe that even when the numbers SEEM great (large city, plenty of single people), other variables get in the way.
Southern Cal Dude Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I do live in a small town, most people got married and had kids straight out of high school, which was not the life for me at all! I did live in a medium sized city (Santa Barbara) for a few years and still struggled to get dates. More reason for me to believe that even when the numbers SEEM great (large city, plenty of single people), other variables get in the way. I think you would have more success in the southern part of the state. I'm in Carson and I think it's more ideal. Warmer weather, more things to do, more social atmosphere.
Phoe Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I think you would have more success in the southern part of the state. I'm in Carson and I think it's more ideal. Warmer weather, more things to do, more social atmosphere. I am in so cal now small town but reasonably close (1-2 hours) to any nice destination
SJC2008 Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I do live in a small town, most people got married and had kids straight out of high school, which was not the life for me at all! I did live in a medium sized city (Santa Barbara) for a few years and still struggled to get dates. More reason for me to believe that even when the numbers SEEM great (large city, plenty of single people), other variables get in the way. Well you could always take the midnight train to get annnywhere! 2
Star Gazer Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I think you would have more success in the southern part of the state. I'm in Carson and I think it's more ideal. Warmer weather, more things to do, more social atmosphere. Carson, ideal? Umm, no. You border Compton. You need to move 8-10 miles west.
Phoe Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Well you could always take the midnight train to get annnywhere! XD dammit now its stuck in my head hahaha! 2
Star Gazer Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 XD dammit now its stuck in my head hahaha! A singer in a smokey room... 2
USMCHokie Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I am in so cal now small town but reasonably close (1-2 hours) to any nice destination This has never been a consolation for me...
Southern Cal Dude Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Carson, ideal? Umm, no. You border Compton. You need to move 8-10 miles west. More ideal than Santa Barbara. Northern Carson borders Compton. I'm further south. I'm over 5 miles from Compton.
Phoe Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 This has never been a consolation for me... haha, i know what you mean. I did manage to have a day at the beach last week though, only a 2 hour drive. Not something that can be done too often, but was woooooonderful nonetheless!
Author one goal Posted July 6, 2013 Author Posted July 6, 2013 I think that's the other problem is that I live in St. Louis which is too big of a city to compete in. Too many young people and too many guys hence why I cant find anyone.
Phoe Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I think that's the other problem is that I live in St. Louis which is too big of a city to compete in. Too many young people and too many guys hence why I cant find anyone. stands to reason with there being so many wayward people in this big ol city that there are decent women out there in your same position, can't quite find anyone either, a whole bunch of wrong place/wrong time, and the big problem is that your paths aren't crossing currently. But they're out there...
SuperGeek Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 If that is you in your avatar, I'm guessing you won't be single for long. The girl in the picture is extremely pretty. Timing seems to be a huge blocker for me :/ I've met some really interesting people but the time just wasn't right. stands to reason with there being so many wayward people in this big ol city that there are decent women out there in your same position, can't quite find anyone either, a whole bunch of wrong place/wrong time, and the big problem is that your paths aren't crossing currently. But they're out there...
truth_seeker Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Hey everyone. Anyways at the gym I see tons of hotties of course as I've posted about in the past. Well there is this really hot looking young lady who works at the gym. Anyways my only interaction with her is when I walk in to scan my card at the desk to check in and she says "hi" to you. I don't talk much to her because I'm way too shy and if you come off as a creeper they could revoke your membership for harassment you know. Anyways I'll be moving probably early next year when I graduate because I'm tired of this town and want to move back to FL. So how up until then can I say hi to her when I check in without looking as shy? She also sometimes says "bye" when you walkout the door too. Like I said asking her out really is out of the question because don't want to get kicked out but how do you get her to take interest? Whenever I'm on the treadmill and she's walking around I'm always checking her out but I never get caught. Not a big deal because schools starts up at the end of next month so hopefully more girls I can talk to, but every semester at school I never find anyone and the few girls I do talk to brush me off. You're going to have to bite the bullet and talk to her. Scary, I know, but if you want to have any chance with this girl, you're going to have to step up. Gym crushes are the worst. They distract you from your workout!
Phoe Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 If that is you in your avatar, I'm guessing you won't be single for long. The girl in the picture is extremely pretty. Timing seems to be a huge blocker for me :/ I've met some really interesting people but the time just wasn't right. I appreciate the compliment but can't really believe that I'll find anyone soon. I don't get approached much. Was single for 6 years until this Spring, dated a guy who was only interested in having a girlfriend so his friends would quit bugging him about being single (his friends are all married with children) - naturally things ended rather quickly and I went back to the singledom I've been subjected to since 2007
Southern Cal Dude Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I appreciate the compliment but can't really believe that I'll find anyone soon. I don't get approached much. Was single for 6 years until this Spring, dated a guy who was only interested in having a girlfriend so his friends would quit bugging him about being single (his friends are all married with children) - naturally things ended rather quickly and I went back to the singledom I've been subjected to since 2007 You have to put yourself in situations where you'll be approached. Or approach yourself.
Phoe Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 You have to put yourself in situations where you'll be approached. Or approach yourself. What's a "situation where I'll get approached"? I go about my life doing things, in normal places, where humans generally are, lol. All my approaches end in rejection so I probably need to learn how to be better at approaching/initiating. I haven't tried in about 3 years but there's a guy at my work who I am kind of interested in. It's probably a horrible idea though..
Southern Cal Dude Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 What's a "situation where I'll get approached"? I go about my life doing things, in normal places, where humans generally are, lol. All my approaches end in rejection so I probably need to learn how to be better at approaching/initiating. I haven't tried in about 3 years but there's a guy at my work who I am kind of interested in. It's probably a horrible idea though.. You have to get out there. Go out with friends. Go to a bar, bowling, dance class, park, anywhere. And you're already psyching yourself out. You're looking for a reason for it not to work so you don't have to do it. I suggest reading up on Arden Leigh. She's a female PUA in New York. She's not like the male ones. I've found her strategy to be blunt, honest, and accurate. And believe me, you're better looking than she is.
Phoe Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 You have to get out there. Go out with friends. Go to a bar, bowling, dance class, park, anywhere. And you're already psyching yourself out. You're looking for a reason for it not to work so you don't have to do it. I suggest reading up on Arden Leigh. She's a female PUA in New York. She's not like the male ones. I've found her strategy to be blunt, honest, and accurate. And believe me, you're better looking than she is. I do go out and do things I'm not a recluse!! lol I'd say 3-4 times a week I'm out and about doing things, either with people or also on my own. I'm psyching myself out because 1) pursuing a guy at work might be trouble. 2) I already know he likes a girl in a different department, even though she wants nothing to do with him.
Southern Cal Dude Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 I do go out and do things I'm not a recluse!! lol I'd say 3-4 times a week I'm out and about doing things, either with people or also on my own. I'm psyching myself out because 1) pursuing a guy at work might be trouble. 2) I already know he likes a girl in a different department, even though she wants nothing to do with him. Well yeah, you don't dip your pen in company ink. There's other guys out there. Like I would tell any guy; you just have to suck it up and go for it.
Phoe Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 Well yeah, you don't dip your pen in company ink. There's other guys out there. Like I would tell any guy; you just have to suck it up and go for it. It's definitely been a thought in my mind, but the sting of rejection still stops me. I know once I build up more nerve I'll be able to approach a guy but the situation needs to be right. Getting rejected SUCKS!
Author one goal Posted July 6, 2013 Author Posted July 6, 2013 I hate being around so many hot girls like the gym and at school knowing I have no shot at them or ever getting to nail them.
truth_seeker Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 It's definitely been a thought in my mind, but the sting of rejection still stops me. I know once I build up more nerve I'll be able to approach a guy but the situation needs to be right. Getting rejected SUCKS! I find it hard to believe that you're getting rejected. Attractive women have their choice of men. Is there something you're not telling us? 1
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