youaremysunshine Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 Hi Guys, I about to go away to work at a camp for two months, leaving my boyfriend behind about 6 hours away. It was very last minute. I applied for this job on a whim. It's well paying and includes room and board which is good because I moved out of my apartment recently anticipating moving in with a friend but she ended up bailing! My boyfriend has kinda hinted I could just live with with him permanently but I really don't think we are ready. We have been dating 7 months and it's pretty much been rocky from the start. Almost broke up a million times, even this month! but I am crazy about him and he is very attached to me and refuses to let me go. Literally the day before I decided to leave he told me he loves for the first time, after being VERY secretive about his feelings. I dunno... has anyone had an experience with leaving a shaky relationship behind on short notice and returning to it? we both want to try to make it work.
Author youaremysunshine Posted July 4, 2013 Author Posted July 4, 2013 also we haven't spoke in person since this was decided today, and I'm leaving Friday. Any advice on how we should discuss this?
SJC2008 Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 (edited) Hi Guys, I about to go away to work at a camp for two months, leaving my boyfriend behind about 6 hours away. It was very last minute. I applied for this job on a whim. It's well paying and includes room and board which is good because I moved out of my apartment recently anticipating moving in with a friend but she ended up bailing! My boyfriend has kinda hinted I could just live with with him permanently but I really don't think we are ready. We have been dating 7 months and it's pretty much been rocky from the start. ***Almost broke up a million times, even this month! but I am crazy about him***and he is very attached to me and refuses to let me go. Literally the day before I decided to leave he told me he loves for the first time, after being VERY secretive about his feelings. I dunno... has anyone had an experience with leaving a shaky relationship behind on short notice and returning to it? we both want to try to make it work. Mayberry keeps looking better and better. Time to go bake some pies... Edited July 4, 2013 by SJC2008 1
SJC2008 Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 (edited) Do explain Read the bold and think hard. It's all in good fun btw so don't take it personal. Edited July 4, 2013 by SJC2008 spelling
Author youaremysunshine Posted July 4, 2013 Author Posted July 4, 2013 Not taking it personal but I have never seen the Andy griffith show. Essentially this guy is Finaly treating me the way I want to be treated, expressing his feelings for me and is ready to commit at last and now I'm bailing on him. I feel bad for putting him thorough that.
veggirl Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 you'd be insane to move in with a guy you have been with only 7 months...all of which have been rocky. this job is a great opportunity to see if you guys really do want to make it work, how you both respond to 2 mos of separation will tell you a lot. are you worried your relationship won't survive it? 1
soccerrprp Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 The moving in is not the problem after 7-months, BUT the constant fighting that has been occurring. You are certainly not ready to move in together. He finally tells you that he loves after having been closed off. Hmmmm. Maybe he sees that he's losing his hold, so a desperate confession to keep you to him. The time away is good. Yeah, see how this time goes and spend some time thinking things through. A good time for him, too. Relationships like yours don't last. If it was contentious while dating, it will be while living together and likely while married. Have fun at the camp. Good luck! 1
Mrlonelyone Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 The moving in is not the problem after 7-months, BUT the constant fighting that has been occurring. You are certainly not ready to move in together. He finally tells you that he loves after having been closed off. Hmmmm. Maybe he sees that he's losing his hold, so a desperate confession to keep you to him. The time away is good. Yeah, see how this time goes and spend some time thinking things through. A good time for him, too. Relationships like yours don't last. If it was contentious while dating, it will be while living together and likely while married. Have fun at the camp. Good luck! As a rule the first couple years of any relationship are the best most magical most chemical years of that relationship. Even if there are a couple of bumps and a couple months of separation and distance here and there. That time period is what gets you through to real difficulties to come. What you describe isn't a couple of bumps. You describe constant fighting and almost breaking up etc. Moving in will not make things better. there will just be that much more to fight over. You sound young, take our advice, go on the camping job and if you come back and still feel like moving in with him do it. Note: It is a bad sign that you would move in with him when you have no option. Some men prey on women in that kind of position. Domestic abuse often starts that way.
Balzac Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 behind about 6 hours away. You'll have days off and that distance is perfect for him to travel for a visit - stay in a hotel. You've not revealed if the camp is coed. I hope you have a great experience.
justwhoiam Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 I about to go away to work at a camp for two months, leaving my boyfriend behind about 6 hours away. Is this all? 2 months away from each other? I don't think it can qualify as a LDR. As it's just very temporary. Once you're back, you live in the same area, right? It's well paying and includes room and board How much well paying if you don't mind sharing? has anyone had an experience with leaving a shaky relationship behind on short notice and returning to it? Hmm. I was in the very early stages of dating him and he left on vacation for 2 weeks. There were no cell phones back then. He sent me a postcard and came back with a ring. I didn't understand though, does leaving for this season job mean that you break up with him? If he's your boyfriend, you could leave and still be his girlfriend. That would be normal. But I guess you wanted to take a chance and leave him. It's inbetween the lines, because you didn't say it. So please be clear, because otherwise we're left at guessing. Or do you want a 2-month break and then be back? If you really love him, you should use this time away to test the relationship, as others suggested.
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