crissy2157 Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 My ex and I just ended our engagement and relationship a few days ago. We met almost three years ago for a few hours through a mutual friend (that I was dating at the time). That relationship didn't last long, and this guy Geoff and I started talking through facebook a bit later. We started texting, then talking on the phone, and just a few weeks later, we began a long distance relationship (we live about 6 hours apart). It was amazing at first...he became my best friend, my confidant, and so much more. We both fell in love very fast and very deep. Then everything suddenly started falling apart. We were both going through very stressful situations with our home lives, and after nearly 3 months of being together, he ended things. We tried staying friends, which ended on a bad note because neither of us knew how to handle what was going on between us. So we stopped talking for about 5 months. I still thought about him on a near-daily basis. Which I thought I was crazy for. I didn't understand it at the time; all I knew was this man I really only knew through a phone had gotten under my skin, broken down all the walls I had up, and stayed there. I'd never felt anything like that before, even in person, so I reached out to him. I sent him a long message through text one night, explaining how I still felt, and amazingly, he responded in the exact same way. We talked for the next 3 months or so as "friends" (I use friends loosely here, since we've never really been "just friends"), and started talking about restarting things in January of this year. But...he was still afraid of what I represented to him. And just before February, he shut down, started ignoring me, and refused to acknowledge my existence. We had planned on me coming to see him for a few days around Valentine's day, and he told me not to. I was devastated, to say the least. Just as I was telling myself I needed to get over it and move on, he contacted me at the end of that month. We talked on the phone for the next couple weeks, and he explained to me how scared he had been of pursuing a relationship with me. He apologized. A lot. And when we got back together in the middle of March, we both thought "this is it, we're going to move on and be past all the drama." But we weren't. Towards the end of April, I found out some things he had done in January and February that really affected me. I won't go into detail, but they caused as to argue, badly, for a couple weeks. He understood they would take time for me to fully get over, but I was willing to work through them with him. I forgave him, but I was still hurt. It was hard for me to let go, and I know I overreacted several times when I was feeling down. However, we got through. Things were looking great. He asked me to marry him in May, about 3 weeks before I was going to come see him in person. I know it seems like everything went very fast, and maybe it did, which might be part of the problem, but we both felt we were "meant to be", or however you want to phrase that. So I said yes. I ended up going to see him earlier than planned, on May 25, for just 2 or 3 days. I ended up staying a week, and my god, it was amazing and wonderful and I just knew this is how it's supposed to be. And when I left, he came back with me on an impulse. I introduced him to my 20 month old daughter, and they were so good together. He immediately fell in love with her the second she saw him and reached out to hug him. After a few days, I took him back to his hometown. I stayed a few more days, and then things got bad. We fought again, horribly, off and on for nearly three days. But we finally both calmed down, talked rationally about what was wrong, and our last night together was perfect. We spent nearly two weeks with each other altogether. Things were good when I left. We spoke on the phone the night I got back home. We had an argument because I was very stressed out and angry about home situations, and I unjustly took it out on him. I apologized for doing so, and he apologized for taking it personally and reacting badly. We were fine for a couple days, then argued again. This pattern repeated for the next week. The last day, he told me he couldn't do this anymore, that the good didn't outweigh the bad. I told him I knew he was wrong, and that he shouldn't just throw it all away, but he had already decided. I knew why I'd been reacting badly to things, and why we'd been so at odds lately. I found out I'm pregnant. I had suspicions while I was there, because I was late, which has not happened to me in 11 years (except for when I was pregnant with my daughter). Which, I admit, caused me to freak out. I know that's why we argued my last couple of days with him. And the reason behind the fighting since I got back. And the very day I was about to tell him, he ended our relationship. I did end up telling him that same day anyway, and it took me awhile to convince him that it wasn't some ploy to get him back. I know it may sound a bit clichéd, but I believe this man is my soulmate, and he thinks I am his as well. I never believed in what I called fairy tale BS before I met him. We've both been in love before, but neither of us had experienced anything like how we felt for each other. And honestly, it terrified us both at first. I think it still scares him. We had a lot of baggage to work through, and we had finally reached that point, before this last week and a half or so happened. I don't know what to do in regards to him and I... we are still talking, as friends. I don't think either of us can cut the other out completely. Nor do we want to. I'm just very confused. And I think he is as well. To anyone who read all of that, thank you very much... What would you do in a situation like this?
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