Vilu Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 (edited) Before anything, I am from Brazil, so sorry about my english. I will be honest, I am not in a very good position right now. To make long story short, my ex broke up with me about 4 months ago but I did not feel bad at the beginning since he still acted like wanted me back, and it actually seemed like he did, he asked me to be back togehter two times, then break it again... Thing is, after a month of no contact he started to flirt with me again and we agreed to meet. That day we talked for hours! and said wanted to work on the relationship.. BUT! he never contacted me after that day, I did sent him a couple of texts and he made short replies, and then after another 10 days he just changed his facebook status to in a relationship with a girl of his work... SO I unfriended him on facebook and all my social networks and just sent him a text message saying I wished him the best in his life and that I wanted him to be happy and that I was very thankful for the momments we got to share. (he answered saying we will always be friends, will never forget me and wished the best for me too) And then never contacted him again. He broke up with this girl about 2 or 3 weeks ago not sure, I wasnt stalking or anything, just a friend told me but she did not know when they broke up either. I thought I would feel better after this because I thought he would contact me but he did not! Now I am thinking well maybe he hasnt because he doesn´t want to know anything about me or maybe he thinks I hate him because I deleted him or just completly forgot about me. He still has a profile picture that I made for him (is an avatar) and hasn´t unliked a diet care facebook page I made. So, I am starting to feel like I should contact him just acting cool, not talk about anything heavy... but I am not sure about this, my friends tell me if something is meant to happen, he should be the one to contact me first since he started everything. Just some other details: we dated for two and a half years, lived together during 4 months, I am 24 and he is 25 and he (and his parents) said I am the best gf he has ever had. Has anyone has gone through no contact or similar situtation? what are your opinions? Edited July 4, 2013 by Vilu
Simon Phoenix Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 I agree with your friends, you should not contact him. And quite frankly, you aren't in any position to get him back. You are still in emotional turmoil due to the break up. You need to continue to stay away and you need to work on yourself -- not sit around waiting for him to contact you. In other words, you chasing him is a crappy idea.
Author Vilu Posted July 4, 2013 Author Posted July 4, 2013 Simon thank you for your feedback. I was thinking about how emotional I am right now and yes, days I hate him, others I feel sad as hell and others feel happy. And it sounds not so pretty me "chasing him" but you are right, all I am doing is a chase. Today I was thinking that to me, he was really really worthy and could have a lifetime at his side BUT if he did not see the worth in me, then why would I be after him! would sound like I am trying to prove I am worthy.... hurts but I think is the truth
Author Vilu Posted July 4, 2013 Author Posted July 4, 2013 Since I obviously want him back, I think I have been paranoid feeling that I might have been the one who closed the doors for us for deleting him from my facebook friends. If it was him doing it I would feel different. I am trying to work on myself and improve whatever my part was on bringing this relationship down, but it hurts to think that I might be the one who closed the door for any future reconciliation. I wonder if there are people that even if they unfriended their exs on facebook if one of them wanted to make a move would find another way (a text or an email) =S
Simon Phoenix Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 Since I obviously want him back, I think I have been paranoid feeling that I might have been the one who closed the doors for us for deleting him from my facebook friends. If it was him doing it I would feel different. I am trying to work on myself and improve whatever my part was on bringing this relationship down, but it hurts to think that I might be the one who closed the door for any future reconciliation. I wonder if there are people that even if they unfriended their exs on facebook if one of them wanted to make a move would find another way (a text or an email) =S He closed the door by breaking up with you. If he wanted to reconcile he wouldn't let the fact that you blocked him on Facebook stop him. 2
Author Vilu Posted July 8, 2013 Author Posted July 8, 2013 An update! Thank You guys for your advice. You actually were right, he did contact me yesterday. He has 2 fb accounts I used to be friend on both, anyways, he sent me a lot of messages from both accounts apologyzing for not being in contact all this time and saying he would like to know if I want to be friends. I answered polite and just started a random conversation, the thing is, he sent me a friend request with the account he does not use as much, and second he even tried to flatter me in some ways. I am taking a biiiiig distance with this contact he made, like I said, I am starting a very random short conversation.... but still... what do you think?
Author Vilu Posted July 8, 2013 Author Posted July 8, 2013 I GOT TIRED! I am tired of being after this person, during our entire relationship he seemed to be a very caring person and a total gentleman. When I found he was in another relationship (in the cowardy way he did by only changing his facebook status) a friend fo HIM told me he actually liked 3 girls!! not only the one he started this relationship with. I thought he was lying but today, I did something I normally dont do, I stalked his stupid fb profile. I found he was flirting a lot with this girl that I suspect he likes since long ago, I saw some flattering comments from him in some of her pictures in the same exactly dates he was flirting with me! (the month I said I got confused because of his flirting) I am really really mad, how I was so stupid to offer him my friendship! I dont know how to tell him I dont wanna be friends now that I already acted as if everything was okay ...
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