NGC1300 Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 A girl at work is kind of coming on to me, but I'm really not interested. I try to be friendly, but I'm afraid it just reinforces her attempts. I hate this, as it feels awkward. I feel like there will have to be a point where I have to basically decline her propositions, and I feel like I'll have to use an excuse.
Ursa Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 Yes. That is awkward for almost everybody who has normal empathy levels. It happens, however. Just try not to hurt her, be unkind to her or draw it out so that she ends up embarrassed. I personally feel it is better to be clear about your boundaries and the limits of your affections, rather than making excuses, but I am a pretty direct person so YMMV. 1
todreaminblue Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 i think it shows a level of maturity and respect to decline gracefully but honestly.....it stings for sure, but to me, it is far more hurtful fro someone to be led on a chase ...it is an awkward situation to be in and i feel needs to be dealt with sooner rather than later.......deb
Author NGC1300 Posted July 7, 2013 Author Posted July 7, 2013 I mean I hope I'm not wrong about the whole situation. She knows I work out, and since she does as well, she suggested "working out" together. I really have no interest in this, as we don't even do the same types of exercises. She said she works out at 4:30AM and when I said "absolutely not", she was even willing to change her workout time, leaving me to believe she might want something else??? I just don't have the capacity to view women, attractive or not, as "friends". Is this bad and/or wrong of me?
thefooloftheyear Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 i think it shows a level of maturity and respect to decline gracefully but honestly.....it stings for sure, but to me, it is far more hurtful fro someone to be led on a chase ...it is an awkward situation to be in and i feel needs to be dealt with sooner rather than later.......deb Well said.. Its always better to be direct and polite...Many people will let the flirting and attention go on just "bask in the attention" because it boosts their ego. All that serves to do is give the person on the other end false hope. It lacks compassion and is hurtful.. TFY
whichwayisup Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 A girl at work is kind of coming on to me, but I'm really not interested. I try to be friendly, but I'm afraid it just reinforces her attempts. I hate this, as it feels awkward. I feel like there will have to be a point where I have to basically decline her propositions, and I feel like I'll have to use an excuse. Just come right out and tell her that you don't date co-workers, or that you are seeing someone.. Or just be completely honest, "I'm not interested in you that way." Be professional, be nice but don't engage in personal conversations with her (meaning, don't ask how she is, how her weekend was etc..etc..).
Ursa Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 I just don't have the capacity to view women, attractive or not, as "friends". Is this bad and/or wrong of me? Your use of the quotation marks here is a bit confusing. Do you mean you don't enjoy pretending to be friendly with someone you don't really like, whether they're attractive or not? That's understandable. Or do you mean you don't have the capacity to ever view women as friends? If you just can't ever imagine being friends with a woman, then yes, you have some issues.
Author NGC1300 Posted July 7, 2013 Author Posted July 7, 2013 If you just can't ever imagine being friends with a woman, then yes, you have some issues. I have issues, but I knew this already. I value my time and honestly view friends as a burden, male or female.
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