zpargo87 Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 Hi I recently started a job and have met this girl who I have a huge amount in common with. I am attracted to her too. We spoke alot on the first day and got on really well. She asked me for my number before joining up with me when we went for lunch. Now it turns out she works on a different floor to me so I don't see her. I texted her (not flirtatious) the other morning and got a reply at about 6pm the same day (Hmm I'm thinking maybe not interested). I would like to speak to her at lunch in the canteen say but its really awkward as there has been someone from her team there. I'm not going to ask her out straight up as I will look desperate. I would like to get to know her more and hopefully get some indication from her that she might be interested before doing anything else. What do people think?
dalex Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 Ask her out, dudes ask out chicks all the time, its not like its out of the norm. Anyhow she doesn't seem to keen since she took that long to respond, girls are usually glued to their phones.
Author zpargo87 Posted July 4, 2013 Author Posted July 4, 2013 Ask her out, dudes ask out chicks all the time, its not like its out of the norm. Anyhow she doesn't seem to keen since she took that long to respond, girls are usually glued to their phones. Thanks for reply. Yeah I'm thinking as she took too long to reply I would prefer to test the water a bit by joining her for lunch just at work to get an idea of her interest. Also when she text me first time round I responded 7 hours later as I didn't realize I had received a text. I'm generally the kind of person that only asks a girl out if I have a fairly strong conviction that she'll yes.
SuperGeek Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 (edited) If she took a long time to respond, that's a sign right there she's not interested. You also WORK with her. Why date someone you work with? Recipe for disaster, unless it's a temp job and you know you're going to quit soon. Edited July 4, 2013 by SuperGeek
Author zpargo87 Posted July 4, 2013 Author Posted July 4, 2013 If she took a long time to respond, that's a sign right there she's not interested. You also WORK with her. Why date someone you work with? Recipe for disaster, unless it's a temp job and you know you're going to quit soon. She works on the top floor, I work on the bottom and only time we are ever likely to see each other is at lunch time in the canteen. It is a temp job and I may leave sooner than expected. I just spoke to her at lunch time for a hour today and the conversation wasn't exactly one way and she didn't seem like she wanted to get away. She kept playing with her hair, not sure how I should interpret that. But yeah I do agree when you say if she doesn't respond for a long time then she's not interested. But I'm getting the impression she's interested when I actually speak to her. As I have so much in common with her I am thinking twice about just cutting off my pursuit.
dalex Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 (edited) Girls are very friendly in general, and men are terrible at distinguishing flirting from friendliness. Girls play with their hair all the time it could mean anything, it doesn't mean jack if she looks at you. Just like Dave Chappelle said on one of his skits, "just because I dress like a police officer doesn't mean I am one." The hardest part is over, and that is the introduction. Either you ask or you don't. If you ask, life will continue as usual. I've asked out girls in the same class, and nothing bad happened. All what they do is act uninterested to prevent leading you on. Just pick up your phone, call her, and if she doesn't respond leave a voice message that says that she should call you back. If the woman doesn't call back then she definitely isn't interested. When you do get in contact, create a bit of small talk of how she's been, and whatever happened that day, and then you proceed to ask if she would like to go on a date with you. If she says no, thats the end of the story, all your stress will be relieved, and no more contemplating of whether she likes or not. If she says yes, ask what days, and hours she is available, and where you are planning to take her. For the first date, I just recommend a simple outing for coffee, or anything that is relatively inexpensive, and simple. Onward you will keep in touch through date details through text messaging. It's easier said than done, your heart will be beating like crazy, your stomach will feel weird, and you will be on the verge of passing out. Don't take it seriously, just smile through it, for some crazy reason, smiling works very well, and it makes situations more light hearted. Remember you are a man that has emotional, and sexual needs, that deserves to have them satisfied. It doesn't make you a bad person for expressing it, as long as you don't act inappropriate and foul. All these bitchy little women complaining about men approaching, have no idea how hard we work to get what we want in terms of relationships, so their opinion is completely irrelevant. Edited July 4, 2013 by dalex
Author zpargo87 Posted July 4, 2013 Author Posted July 4, 2013 Just pick up your phone, call her, and if she doesn't respond leave a voice message that says that she should call you back. If the woman doesn't call back then she definitely isn't interested. When you do get in contact, create a bit of small talk of how she's been, and whatever happened that day, and then you proceed to ask if she would like to go on a date with you. If she says no, thats the end of the story, all your stress will be relieved, and no more contemplating of whether she likes or not. If she says yes, ask what days, and hours she is available, and where you are planning to take her. For the first date, I just recommend a simple outing for coffee, or anything that is relatively inexpensive, and simple. Onward you will keep in touch through date details through text messaging. Many thanks that's really useful advice. It has started to interfere with my emotions over last few days as I go through the what ifs and doubts. So best to get it over with quickly I think. Seems like coffee is the best bet at the moment.
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