Wambo Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 A few months ago I'd asked for advice relating to a friendship at work. I believed a friend of mine had been using me as emotional infidelity. Sadly our friendship been going on for a few years. I don't know if the EI had started from the very begininning and if it was intentional. The sad fact is I liked her a lot and worst of all I put too much trust in her. The first attempt of NC was a massive disaster. She wouldn't leave me alone even when I was blanking her. The 1st NC also confirmed our friendship has many elements of an emotional affair. However the 2nd NC was a success because I had sent her a nice telling off. She backed off and gave me room to go cold turkey. We are talking again after asking her side of the story. While I wasn't convinced by her series of events but I felt it would be best to give her a chance. Since then she had been very cautious towards me. We do talk from time to time but I try to keep it maybe once or twice a week. However today I did some background checks on her and her boyfriend. I had used social media for my investigation and came across some alarming information. Her boyfriend is aprox 20 twenty years older than her and one of his children is just seven years younger than her. The biggest upset is they moved in together and I wasn't aware of it. What became more obivious is the series of lies she had been telling me. Playing down her relationship and keeping me attached to her. What I can't understand is why she allowed me to get so close and why she been using me? In my opinion anyone who been in an affair is to understand the situation. Is it accidential or the cheater using you on purpose. Do some background digging and find out what actually going on.
happy stillmore Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 I'm guessing here because I may not really know the situation. She may not be connected totally with her older boyfriend. She is looking for someone to provide a home but may not be emotionally attached to him. You seem to be closer to her age and may be able to relate better. She is a cake-eater. She wants the older man to physically care for her while she has you to emotionally care for her. She wants the best of both worlds. She is lying outright to you. I would not trust her for anything.
Author Wambo Posted July 5, 2013 Author Posted July 5, 2013 I'm guessing here because I may not really know the situation. She may not be connected totally with her older boyfriend. She is looking for someone to provide a home but may not be emotionally attached to him. You seem to be closer to her age and may be able to relate better. She is a cake-eater. She wants the older man to physically care for her while she has you to emotionally care for her. She wants the best of both worlds. She is lying outright to you. I would not trust her for anything. I'm not sure what is going on? She haven't been honest to me and it's obivious she is keeping me on the side but in the dark. I just couldn't believe the cheek of her progressing her relationship by moving in together. At the sametime she tried to win me back. I just want to know what is going through her mind. What are the causes of her being unfaithful? A while ago in my first attempt of NC, she and her boyfriend had a minor split. During this process her boyfriend threatened to rehome his dog(which she cared for) and she posted this on Facebook. She asked her friends for assisstance and asked them to check animal shelters. The matter is made worst because it's effecting my work performance and my top superiors want me to come clean. They want to know what causing my loopy performance and they know I'm witholding information. When it comes to my performance review I will have to put down in little words as possible about this emotional infidelity. My review is going to be appalling but this way they know why I'm conflicted. I will need to inform the woman about the causes of her actions and what I'm going to tell my superiors. I will also need to ask her to come clean and very likely have to end the friendship. Going NC is going to be a breeze because she really did p***ed me off with all these lies and betrayals. I find anger so much easiser to handle compared to drowning myself in self pity.
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