Author youngbutoldsoul Posted July 5, 2013 Author Posted July 5, 2013 He has told you blatantly that he does not want to be with you. False hope does not change the truth. Sending this letter will make you look more pitiful in his eyes and reinforce why he doesn't want to be with you. No man wants to be with a woman who would lower herself to sending a letter when he has so obviously conveyed he does not want to be with you. Frankly, it's beneath you to send this letter. It's beneath you to beg. No one should have to beg someone to be with them. This is all very painful. Everyone here has been through this, but sending this letter is going to hurt you so much worse. Listen to most of the posters who are saying move on, and don't send this letter. Do you know why we say this? Because we have done similarly foolish things in the past and are now embarrassed by our actions. You can only control your actions. If he wants to walk away, he has free will to do so. It's just a part of life that everyone has to go through, usually multiple times. Heartbreak is always a possibility if you open up to someone, and clinging to this false hope will not bring him back. Thank you so much. I realize that I shouldn't be having false hope. I think the toughest part for me is remembering how much of an emotional/sensitive guy he is and I thought writing a letter would push the right buttons for him....and open up his eyes to see our relationship as something meaningful overall....
Simon Phoenix Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 Thank you so much. I realize that I shouldn't be having false hope. I think the toughest part for me is remembering how much of an emotional/sensitive guy he is and I thought writing a letter would push the right buttons for him....and open up his eyes to see our relationship as something meaningful overall.... Yeah, that won't happen. It's up to them and them only to change their minds -- there's nothing you can do to trigger it. The only thing you can do is reinforce why they broke up with you in the first place. 1
Author youngbutoldsoul Posted July 14, 2013 Author Posted July 14, 2013 HELP me I'm having a moment of weakness. While I understand for the most part that I SHOULD NOT send this letter, one of the last things my ex told one of his friends was that he accepted he doesn't belong with me because he didn't feel like I really appreciated him. I guess the only argument I have for wanting to send it is so that he could understand things from my perspective and realize I did try my hardest to appreciate him....What do you guys think?
JDPT Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 HELP me I'm having a moment of weakness. While I understand for the most part that I SHOULD NOT send this letter, one of the last things my ex told one of his friends was that he accepted he doesn't belong with me because he didn't feel like I really appreciated him. I guess the only argument I have for wanting to send it is so that he could understand things from my perspective and realize I did try my hardest to appreciate him....What do you guys think? You will have tons of unanswered questions and weak moments, remain in control get through the moment, that's all it is a weak moment nothing more nothing less, you will feel better afterwards. Keep busy with something, go for a walk, go to the gym, don't drink, call someone who will give you objective advise. Simply keep yourself busy and you will get through this weak moment. I felt just like you yesterday, I had such a rough day that I for some ridiculous reason started contemplating the thought of a contact, luckily I managed to contact someone who talked some sense into me and it felt much better afterwards. 1
Author youngbutoldsoul Posted July 14, 2013 Author Posted July 14, 2013 Don't listen to these self improvement drones. They always tell you to go work out and get a degree and buy a Chanel dress and blah blah blah. Your problems will just get worse if you attract more men, trust me. The hottest women actually have the MOST problems. You have to understand that men want ONE thing from women and NOTHING else. And most men will dump you even if you're as hot as Demi Lovato. Men are fickle and they get tired of the same woman day after day, year after year. Just stay single and pour yourself into a career and never think about men again. So you're saying love/relationships are pointless?
flitzanu Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 HELP me I'm having a moment of weakness. While I understand for the most part that I SHOULD NOT send this letter, one of the last things my ex told one of his friends was that he accepted he doesn't belong with me because he didn't feel like I really appreciated him. I guess the only argument I have for wanting to send it is so that he could understand things from my perspective and realize I did try my hardest to appreciate him....What do you guys think? so you now need to prove to him that you're a decent human being and that you are worthy of him even looking down from his pedestal at you?
Author youngbutoldsoul Posted July 14, 2013 Author Posted July 14, 2013 so you now need to prove to him that you're a decent human being and that you are worthy of him even looking down from his pedestal at you? I understand us dumpees tend to put the dumper on a pedestal. However, I feel like I'm realistic in the sense that I know my faults and I understand I could have done more/better prior to the breakup or even prevent it from happening. The arguments made him feel under-appreciated and I'm upset that it's too late to explain to him
flitzanu Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 but it's ok for him to act better than you and to treat you badly, as long as you worship, er, make him feel appreciated? shouldn't the respect levels be equal?
JDPT Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 Us dumpees tend to for some reason idolize our exs. I'm at the stage where I feel as if my ex was perfection, if she was perfection then why were there moments when she made me feel miserable, disregarded, unappreciated and perhaps taken for granted? Our exes were not perfect as beautiful, educated, kind hearted as we will like to view them as, they were simply not. Respect and love is a two way street. In my situation I was used and stepped all over sadly by the only woman I truly loved but that's all in the past, live and learn, lick your wounds and move on which is the best and only thing you can do.
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