Girl shows interest first, thinks that i am not interested, won't take my calls

[Billhouseman]

I took 3 weeks to call her. Yes, i know that i am an idiot. Additionally, i didn't necessarily show strong interest when i first met her.

 

Part of it was me being stupid, and part of it was due to unusual circumstances.

 

The hard part is convincing her that i actually like her. She thinks that "I'm not really into her". I get the feeling that she only thinks that i'm contacting her for sex or because she rejected me (wanting what you can't have).

 

I've been sending her texts (she has never responded).

 

 

What's the most effective way to turn this situation around? How can i convince her that i actually like her, and that i wouldn't leave her eventually? I know that she likes me or at least liked me, but i can't seem to get anywhere.

 

 

Here's my 3 ideas:

 

Use someone else's phone to try to call her, but i don't know how to convince her.

Get someone else to call her and try to explain what happened.

Send her a long text explaining everything and asking for her back.

 

 

The problem is that she may not believe me or if i overdo it, it makes me look like a weirdo.

[clia]

Idea 4: Stop contacting her and leave her alone.

 

Honestly, if she is not responding to you, you will only make it worse by continuing to try to contact her. If you waited three weeks to call her, she likely moved on in the interim.

[Billhouseman]

There's more details. This wasn't just your normal interaction. She REALLY liked me a lot. When i called her, it was clear that she was emotional and waiting for my call.

 

She liked me a lot. That's why i'm trying to pursue this. Potential for an amazing relationship. I love her too.

[Southern Cal Dude]

Dude you waited 3 weeks. That's damn near a month. Even 3 days is pushing it a bit. 3 weeks, she took it as you weren't interested. She moved on.

[clia]

There's more details. This wasn't just your normal interaction. She REALLY liked me a lot. When i called her, it was clear that she was emotional and waiting for my call.

 

She liked me a lot. That's why i'm trying to pursue this. Potential for an amazing relationship. I love her too.

 

That was three weeks ago. A lot can change in three weeks.

[NYC-BigKat]

I took 3 weeks to call her. Yes, i know that i am an idiot. Additionally, i didn't necessarily show strong interest when i first met her.

 

Part of it was me being stupid, and part of it was due to unusual circumstances.

 

The hard part is convincing her that i actually like her. She thinks that "I'm not really into her". I get the feeling that she only thinks that i'm contacting her for sex or because she rejected me (wanting what you can't have).

 

I've been sending her texts (she has never responded).

 

 

What's the most effective way to turn this situation around? How can i convince her that i actually like her, and that i wouldn't leave her eventually? I know that she likes me or at least liked me, but i can't seem to get anywhere.

 

 

Here's my 3 ideas:

 

Use someone else's phone to try to call her, but i don't know how to convince her.

Get someone else to call her and try to explain what happened.

Send her a long text explaining everything and asking for her back.

 

 

The problem is that she may not believe me or if i overdo it, it makes me look like a weirdo.

 

You'r not the only weirdo u know. I've done stupid things too .

[Eddie Edirol]

She'll probably never believe you, because 3 weeks is the precedent that you set.

 

Also you dont know if she is seeing someone else. She could be with that guy right now. She has it in her mind that she doesnt want to hear from you, so contacting her isnt going to change her mind. She doesnt want to be your second choice, which is reality she was, you werent that interested at first. She wants someone who is genuinely interested right away, and she should.

[Billhouseman]

That was three weeks ago. A lot can change in three weeks.

 

 

When i called her, (after the three weeks) it was clear that she pining for me. She was all emotional on the phone. But i guess she got angry and decided that i wasn't into her and that i'd always treat her like crap or something.

 

So are you guys telling me that there's no way to get her back?

 

Ladies, what could a guy do to win you back in this sort of situation?

[Billhouseman]

So no one out there has some grand and crazy idea that i can do to get her back?

 

I guess that you're right. She won't believe me. I have no idea how to get around that. Anyone with some good ideas?

 

There has to be a way to do this. There has to be someone out there who has done this or can think of a great way to do this. Thanks, everyone.

[lop98]

I vote for an email, not short nor long, just sincere and open.

 

Were these 3 weeks recently? this is usually the time of the year, right before summer, where people are busy, I don't think it's a big deal. Why did you wait that long if you were interested anyway? were you scared? or actually busy?, I'd let her know what you've been up to, but casually, don't write too much about it because it makes you sound too apologetic, I for one can't stand it when guys apologize without even knowing you, it makes me think they're the types that do the stupid action + apology combo all the time.

 

And ask her out at the end... firm and briefly.

[Billhouseman]

i don't have her email. Just her phone number.

 

Yes, i was scared. She is very attractive.

 

Unfortunately, i have already sent her a bunch of apologetic texts and told her i'd wait at a starbucks one night. she didn't show.

 

i'm thinking the best way is to try and talk to her directly. maybe use someone else's number, but there's too many variables.

 

I'm thinking another text where i change up how i talk to her and explain what happened (so far i just apologized, told her i really liked her and set up the starbucks appt).

 

I should try to have a girl call her.

[lop98]

Oh...

 

Using someone else's phone would creep me out to be honest. And if she didn't show at Starbucks, that's very telling. How many texts have you sent her? maybe you're coming off as a little too desperate and that's stopping her despite being attracted to you, maybe the attraction is even wearing off due to that. I'd send her a last one, tell her you're available for whenever she feels like going out with you, brief, no more apologies or begging and then move on. She'll contact you if she wants to, trust me.

[Billhouseman]

One last detail, she may think that i am some kind of player-- perhaps a little disrespectful to women. Not sure if that changes any advice given here, but thought that it might be useful-- especially the "he's just not that into you" part.

[Lansing]

She is probably laughing with her friends about the lengths you are going to contact her... the whole "I will be waiting at Starbucks" is just too funny.

 

Sorry, I know you think she is pining over you but I think she probably things you are creepy! Do you seriously get women and are a player??

 

If you are so good with women then time to use your energy on someone new.

[Billhouseman]

And what about having a female friend call her and explain how much heartbreak that i am going through? Would it help to come from someone else?

[Billhouseman]

She is probably laughing with her friends about the lengths you are going to contact her... the whole "I will be waiting at Starbucks" is just too funny.

 

Sorry, I know you think she is pining over you but I think she probably things you are creepy! Do you seriously get women and are a player??

 

If you are so good with women then time to use your energy on someone new.

 

I don't doubt that she thinks me texting her is creepy. But what was i supposed to do?

 

Obviously if it was just some normal interaction it wouldn't cause this kind of reaction in me. i'd give up. We had a special night together. The way she acted and some of the things she said i just can't stop thinking about. She was rejecting several guys while we were hanging out that night.

[lop98]

And what about having a female friend call her and explain how much heartbreak that i am going through? Would it help to come from someone else?

I would officially never want to date you just for that... having someone else call for you and calling rejection heartbreak.

 

Seriously, just forget it until you hear from her. Any more moves will kill the remaining chances to start something with her.

[Billhouseman]

I would officially never want to date you just for that... having someone else call for you and calling rejection heartbreak.

 

Seriously, just forget it until you hear from her. Any more moves will kill the remaining chances to start something with her.

 

Thanks for the advice lop98. Having someone else call was just a potential thought, perhaps other people see that differently.

 

As far as rejection=heartbreak, i only follow her cues. This situation really is a lot different than your average interaction--i'd never ever in a million years feel this way about 99% of women. This girl was different and i don't think that she just opens herself to just anyone like that. You really can't judge a specific situation without knowing the details of what happened.