achristine Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 Hi All, Hope someone can give me some advice. I was with my live in boyfriend for a year and a half. For the most part it was wonderful (we were inseparable) but when we got in arguments they were intense and I would find myself saying mean things just to hurt my bf. he warned me before he couldn't take the hurtful words but I begged him and said I would stop so he stayed with me. Our last argument occurred about a month and a half ago and he broke up with me the next day. He said he was scarred from all the words I said and couldn't do it anymore. He moved out the following week. I was nothing but supportive and helped him move, etc. Even though I wish I didn't I begged and pleaded for him back for the last month, I did not realize what I had till it was gone and I would never say those hurtful words knowing how much they hurt him. I thought I was making headway last week but after he came over for dinner he said he is calloused and he just doesn't see us as compatible. I am very confused because the week before he told me to just give him some time to pick himself up and then we can give it a try. Now this week he is saying he can't do it. What caused this change of heart in a few days? Did he say this because I'm moving things along to fast and he feel pressured or did he really make up his mind that he will never want to be with me again? I have started no contact and have not talked to him in 4 days. Do you think this will make him change his mind? He still says he loves me and that he "wouldn't rule out being with me in the long term" Will time heal all this wounds my hurtful words caused him? I really want a second chance, for nothing more then to show him I can be loving and respectful Any help on this is appreciated, I feel lost
soccerrprp Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 Hi All, Hope someone can give me some advice. I was with my live in boyfriend for a year and a half. For the most part it was wonderful (we were inseparable) but when we got in arguments they were intense and I would find myself saying mean things just to hurt my bf. he warned me before he couldn't take the hurtful words but I begged him and said I would stop so he stayed with me. Our last argument occurred about a month and a half ago and he broke up with me the next day. He said he was scarred from all the words I said and couldn't do it anymore. He moved out the following week. I was nothing but supportive and helped him move, etc. Even though I wish I didn't I begged and pleaded for him back for the last month, I did not realize what I had till it was gone and I would never say those hurtful words knowing how much they hurt him. I thought I was making headway last week but after he came over for dinner he said he is calloused and he just doesn't see us as compatible. I am very confused because the week before he told me to just give him some time to pick himself up and then we can give it a try. Now this week he is saying he can't do it. What caused this change of heart in a few days? Did he say this because I'm moving things along to fast and he feel pressured or did he really make up his mind that he will never want to be with me again? I have started no contact and have not talked to him in 4 days. Do you think this will make him change his mind? He still says he loves me and that he "wouldn't rule out being with me in the long term" Will time heal all this wounds my hurtful words caused him? I really want a second chance, for nothing more then to show him I can be loving and respectful Any help on this is appreciated, I feel lost achristine, I can't answer for your ex, but you knowing what you did wrong and having taken the steps to seek help to help avoid such events from ever happening again are two different things. It sounds like you have anger issues and that is clearly dangerous and unnerving for him or anyone. What steps have you taken to help guarantee or show him that you are working on yourself? If I were your ex, I wouldn't come back. I've said this before, but people's personalities DO NOT change at its core. And if it does, not for long.
SimonSerenade Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 If you treated him like that then you don't deserve him and he really has no reason to come back, you messed up, improve for yourself now, you've done all you possibly could to win him back, if he's a dumb ass he'll return and if your not a dumb ass you'll treat him right and get some help for your issues, other than that, leave him be, move on, find another nice guy and don't mess that one up.
Chi townD Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 Sorry, but your words mean nothing to him right now. In fact, your words are what got you in this mess in the first place! So! What I strongly recommend you do is get yourself into individual counseling, you need to get a handle on your temper. Anger management classes. You need to read self help books on anger. He needs to SEE you doing something about it rather than HEARING you making promises that he's unsure you can keep. Your actions will speak louder than your words. This is NOT a guarantee that he will come back. It's just a chance. However, what you learn from the books and classes and counseling sessions will help you in future relationships.
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