How should a man dress to be "datable"?

[DannyMason]

When guys here complain about not being able to get dates female posters generally advise him to start dressing well. That sounds like good advice to me and I'd like a fashion makeover. My wardrobe is pretty much empty following a >100 lb weight loss stint and I need to restock. Problem is, I have no fashion sense at all. I bought the AskMen's Style Bible but was left with more questions than answers. So, ladies of Love Shack, I've brought those questions to you.

 

The big one: How should a man dress to be the kind of guy you'd like to go out with?

 

Littler ones:

 

Is it true that women judge a man based on his shoes?

 

What's the deal with coordinating clothing color to your skin and hair? I hear conflicting opinions as to whether I should be going for contrast with my light skin hair, and eyes or for lighter colors that "agree" with them.

 

I'm a 6'4" (1.93 m) weigh 203 lbs (92 kg), have light brown hair, pale skin, and blue eyes if any of that affects how you think I should dress.

[Els]

Odd way of phrasing your question, IMO. I don't think there's a specific way you NEED to dress to be 'dateable', but it can certainly help.

 

I don't generally care much about fashion, neither mine nor my partner's, so I'm sure the other ladies will be of much more help. But I think the most important point to some ladies, is not so much color, but rather appropriateness for the venue and effort. Have you ever seen guys schlepping in for a dinner date with a baggy tee and shorts and trainers? Some women might dig that look, but to many, it'll look like the guy couldn't be bothered to even try to look decent for them, and that'll be a turn-off.

 

I find you generally can't go wrong with a fitted neutral-colored shirt, dark colored slacks (or jeans if you have good ones) and semi-formal shoes. This is of course assuming appropriate venues, don't take that advice literally for the beach or something.

[Sarabi]

When guys here complain about not being able to get dates female posters generally advise him to start dressing well. That sounds like good advice to me and I'd like a fashion makeover. My wardrobe is pretty much empty following a >100 lb weight loss stint and I need to restock. Problem is, I have no fashion sense at all. I bought the AskMen's Style Bible but was left with more questions than answers. So, ladies of Love Shack, I've brought those questions to you.

 

Hello...well done on the weight loss! such a massive achievement. You should be proud of yourself!!! Honestly! WELL DONE!!!

 

The big one: How should a man dress to be the kind of guy you'd like to go out with?

Suppose it depends on the date...although I can hardly give advice to be honest

Just don't dress like a chav (you know what a chav is?)

 

Littler ones:

 

Is it true that women judge a man based on his shoes?

I never have...what is the deal with that?

In terms of size? Shoe type and how it matches the outfit? What..? I mean...I wouldn't expect someone to wear trainers with a suit. If this is what you mean.

 

What's the deal with coordinating clothing color to your skin and hair? I hear conflicting opinions as to whether I should be going for contrast with my light skin hair, and eyes or for lighter colors that "agree" with them.

 

I'm a 6'4" (1.93 m) weigh 203 lbs (92 kg), have light brown hair, pale skin, and blue eyes if any of that affects how you think I should dress.

I told you I can't give constructive advice because OMG...you sound too fabulous!!! you will be taller than me when I wear HEELS!!! This is brilliant.

How can someone of your description seriously be worrying about what to wear on a date!? if they're not already queuing up for you, I am sure they will be after you sort your wardrobe out

Happy shopping

[Southern Cal Dude]

Basically, wear clothes that fit. You're more than likely wearing clothes that are a size too big. With fair skin, do not wear white. Black is fine, but not white. Bright colors are fine. Studies have also shown wearing red is best for a male.

[USMCHokie]

The big one: How should a man dress to be the kind of guy you'd like to go out with?

 

First you have to figure out the kind of girl you want to go out with.

 

Is it true that women judge a man based on his shoes?

 

Yes. Buy the best quality shoes you can afford. One pair of good shoes are better than 5 pairs of crap.

 

What's the deal with coordinating clothing color to your skin and hair? I hear conflicting opinions as to whether I should be going for contrast with my light skin hair, and eyes or for lighter colors that "agree" with them.

 

I'm a 6'4" (1.93 m) weigh 203 lbs (92 kg), have light brown hair, pale skin, and blue eyes if any of that affects how you think I should dress.

 

Based on the above, you have low contrast tones, so you're better off going with a darker, more monochromatic color scheme with the clothes. Avoid lighter colors (e.g., whites, pastels), and avoid highly contrasting colored clothing that will draw attention away from your face.

[Pyro]

Classic masculine

[Ryan R.]

Generally, you definitely want to wear clothes that fit. Baggy clothes are a no-no for most women.

 

I don't know how old you are, but I'm almost 22 and my wardrobe consists of the following:

 

Jeans (Diesel, Tommy Hilfiger)

Long Sleeve Shirts (Ralph Lauren, assorted other brands)

Short Sleeve Shirts (Acropolis, Banana Republic, Superdry, various others)

Sneakers (Vans, Nikes, Superdry)

Boots (Timberlands, some others)

Hooded Sweatshirts (various)

Khaki (in Khaki and Black) Pants (various)

Shorts (Canterbury of New Zealand, various, I try to avoid shorts with millions of pockets)

Polos (Ralph Lauren, Lacoste)

A watch (I have several different brands: Rolex, G Shock, Fossil, Links of London)

 

I also have a couple of suits and sports coats. I don't really "dress up" that much but I certainly don't look underdressed. You can find some great clothes at low prices at Marshalls (don't know if there's one around you).

[tbf]

Straight leg or loose skinny jeans with a tapered button down short sleeve shirt. Ray Bans, a good haircut with movement and if you can carry them off, canvas shoes with no socks, for the summer.

[Lani]

Ha! I have been on a little rant this week about men wearing the wrong thing.

I had a guy wear white trainers, a football jersey and a cap to a night time date on Sunday. THAT is not appropriate. It's like no effort was made.

 

At the end of the day, you should wear what you like. Because it's you. Just make sure you make an effort and wear clothes that fit you. Make the most of your new body!

Keeping up with new styles is important, but only wear the things you like, not just because they are fashionable. Just don't continue wearing the same clothes for years on end.

Years ago I hired a personal shopper just for fun, to see what they would say. They actually gave me some really good tips on what would suit my body shape and what colours are best. It might be worth investing in if you're really keen.

[hppr]

Shoes and sunglasses make a big difference. I like doc martens, redwings and gargoyles (they have a mil and LE discount which is pretty good). Being tall the boots will make you even more imposing but I'd wear them anyways.

[DannyMason]

Odd way of phrasing your question, IMO. I don't think there's a specific way you NEED to dress to be 'dateable', but it can certainly help.

 

I don't generally care much about fashion, neither mine nor my partner's, so I'm sure the other ladies will be of much more help. But I think the most important point to some ladies, is not so much color, but rather appropriateness for the venue and effort. Have you ever seen guys schlepping in for a dinner date with a baggy tee and shorts and trainers? Some women might dig that look, but to many, it'll look like the guy couldn't be bothered to even try to look decent for them, and that'll be a turn-off.

 

I find you generally can't go wrong with a fitted neutral-colored shirt, dark colored slacks (or jeans if you have good ones) and semi-formal shoes. This is of course assuming appropriate venues, don't take that advice literally for the beach or something.

 

Thanks, Els. It's nice to know that for some girls there's not too much pressure.

[Els]

Thanks, Els. It's nice to know that for some girls there's not too much pressure.

 

Oh, there's 'pressure'. Just not to dress well.

[Legatus]

@DannyMason I hope you won't mind a bit of hijacking the thread but I've got a question greatly related to yours.

 

Since I got my new job 2 years ago, when I have to obey formal dress code I have been dressing quite formally outside work as well. I always wanted to have a job where I can put on a suit (or semi-formal, tie not needed) and having the opportunity to do it - well I do it with smile on my face.

 

However I do dress like that outside work. Sometimes I do wear dark-blue, straight-leg jeans with a nice shirt just to not over-dress myself..

 

I've been told that I am "only" 25 and should be dressing a bit more "freely" and casually. I do that sometimes, but my primary outfit when going out to see friends, dinner, date, even movie or theatre is always at least semi-formal. Would you say it's an exaggeration of some kind?

 

 

@DannyMason congratulations on your weight loss, it's pretty impressive! I hope, with advice of LS Ladies you'll transform yourself nicely!

[DannyMason]

Hello...well done on the weight loss! such a massive achievement. You should be proud of yourself!!! Honestly! WELL DONE!!!

 

You're a sweetie.

 

Suppose it depends on the date...although I can hardly give advice to be honest

 

Well, I'm mainly interested in how to dress to leave a favorable impression that would make her more inclined to date me in he first place. Obviously there's only so much clothing can do in that regard, but I'd like to maximize my chances.

 

Just don't dress like a chav (you know what a chav is?)

 

I got the gist of it.

 

I never have...what is the deal with that?

In terms of size? Shoe type and how it matches the outfit? What..? I mean...I wouldn't expect someone to wear trainers with a suit. If this is what you mean.

 

I'll take this as an answer in is own right.

 

I told you I can't give constructive advice because OMG...you sound too fabulous!!! you will be taller than me when I wear HEELS!!! This is brilliant.

How can someone of your description seriously be worrying about what to wear on a date!? if they're not already queuing up for you, I am sure they will be after you sort your wardrobe out

Happy shopping

 

You're flattering me. How tall are you, by the way?

[Gunny376]

First you have to figure out the kind of girl you want to go out with.

 

 

 

Yes. Buy the best quality shoes you can afford. One pair of good shoes are better than 5 pairs of crap.

 

 

 

Based on the above, you have low contrast tones, so you're better off going with a darker, more monochromatic color scheme with the clothes. Avoid lighter colors (e.g., whites, pastels), and avoid highly contrasting colored clothing that will draw attention away from your face.

 

It starts with basic hygiene, and paying attention to the details. Clean and trim fingernails, trimmed stylish haircut (By someone who knows what tha' Hell their doing) trimmed eyebrows, nose hair, ear hair (if that applies). Just good basic grooming, washing your hair, using a conditioner, clean and trim toenails. Women pay attention to the small details.

 

Women by nature of being women, have about a 20% greater range of peripheral vision than men. (Ref: "Why Men Don't Have A Clue, And Women Need Another Pair Of Shoes") So they pay more attention to the little things about you. There's also the consideration of "body language" in which most human communication is 'non-verbal' and takes place within about the first minute or so. That makes up about 70% or better of the way women size you up within the first minute or so. Its a 'Pass or Fail" with no accurate answer.

[Gunny376]

Pheromones DO play a factor into the equation. Your typical woman has about 10,000 more olfactory cells in their noses than do men. So smell, odor, pheromones, cologne do play a factor into the equation. So choose a cologne carefully ~ its best to ask around among the women you're trying to attract. You don't want to go with the 'cheap' China-Mart imitation knock-off's stuff.

 

But you also don't want to 'bath in it" People do have allegeries to such. You don't want it to be over-whelming.

 

Skin color does have a factor in it ~ usually the darker the better, but there are just some things you can't over-come. One of Mrs Gunny's nieces was raised in the Southwest. It was either dark-skin men or turn gay? Now she is forever more attracted to dark-skinned men. It is what it is.

[Gunny376]

Don't go cheap on the clothes, wear the best that you can afford. But the important thing is that they're clean and maintained! Pressed, ironed, looking like you care about your apperance. It shows that you will take care of them, and be attentive to them and their needs as a potential lover.

[GravityMan]

It's really not that hard for a guy to dress in a nice-looking presentable way. In fact I think it's quite easy.

 

Some men just lazy or clueless about it.

 

- Wear clothes that fit. This is important. Don't wear sizes too big. Form-fitting without being too tight. Too-tight clothes feel uncomfortable and others will notice that (e.g. you're constantly adjusting this and tugging that.) Form-fitting clothes that have a relaxed cut are good. Jeans that are overly skinny may make some people wonder which way you swing.

 

- Depending on your build, it may be difficult to find jeans, pants and ESPECIALLY shirts off-the-rack that fit you perfectly. Most off-the-rack garments (at least in the U.S.) are geared towards average builds or bigger. Thin guys will have a harder time..."slim-fit" outfits help but still aren't perfect. Find a good, reasonably priced tailor to alter your shirts. They should fit well at the neck, look right at the ends of the shoulders, long sleeved shirts' sleeves should end at or just above your wrist, and the shirt should not be too long (otherwise they may "balloon" a bit just above the waist when you tuck them into your pants.)

 

- Wear good-quality fabrics and brands. Discerning eyes will notice. That means do not buy your clothes at Wal-Mart. It also means do not break the bank and shop exclusively at Nordstrom's or Saks Fifth Avenue, either. Be smart about it...you can wear very nice-looking clothes at reasonable prices.

 

- It is probably a good idea to avoid 100% polyester.

 

- It is probably a good idea to avoid patterns that look too feminine.

 

- Wear a good-quality belt. A black belt with a silver buckle is a decent bet, but be willing to explore other options if it works well with your shirt and pants.

 

- Keep your clothes clean and pressed. Find a RELIABLE dry cleaners for those outfits that can be dry cleaned.

 

- It is important to wear outfits that you genuinely like. People who dress nice tend to feel a bit more self-confident, but if you aren't comfortable with what you wear, then there will be no confidence boost.

 

- Try to wear clothes that complement your skin tone, eye color, hair style/color and even your personality. Avoid shirt colors that are too close to your skin color.

 

- Neutral or classic colors are always a good idea. However, you risk coming across as a bit too "samey" or boring if you only wear neutral colors all the time. Consider experimenting a bit with different shirt colors or patterns without being too "loud" about it (unless you have a flamboyant personality). Stick to black, brown, tan, olive, navy or gray for pants, though.

 

- Shoes are important. Have multiple types of shoes in your wardrobe depending on the occasion. Formal dress shoes, casual dress shoes, sneakers, flip-flops. The dress shoes (style and color) should complement the rest of your outfit. If they're the shiny kind...get them shined every now and then.

 

- Know the occasion and dress as appropriate. Don't wear slacks and a button-down to a picnic...that's overdressing. Don't wear cargo shorts and a polo to a nice upscale restuarant...that's tacky and sloppy...and you may get dirty looks from other patrons and staff...and your date may feel embarrassed to be with you.

 

- The above may seem like a lot of info to digest. However, arguably the most important thing (up there with "fit", "occasion-appropriate" and "wear clothes that you like") is to not try too hard. You want to look nice and well-put-together but at the same time you don't want to look like you spent 20-30 minutes deciding what to wear and getting dressed.

 

Keep in mind that women's taste can vary significantly (including some women who don't much care how a guy dresses at all). There are women who believe that men should never ever wear jeans or shorts. Some other women believe that any guy who wears a suit and tie is automatically metrosexual or gay. Others still prefer the biker look or the hippy look. All the more reason why it's best to simply dress well for yourself and not to impress women. Have some pride in your appearance. The right women will take notice.

[DannyMason]

Oh, there's 'pressure'. Just not to dress well.

 

Dammit, Els, I almost felt like I could relax and let my guard down a little!

 

 

[DannyMason]

First you have to figure out the kind of girl you want to go out with.

 

Female science nerd, ideally.

 

Yes. Buy the best quality shoes you can afford. One pair of good shoes are better than 5 pairs of crap.

 

You're the first person in this thread to affirm that women really do judge based on shoes. Interestingly, while I keep hearing that from guys, none of the women have said that they actually care about shoes. I still intend to get some new ones though, probably just a black pair and a brown pair.

 

Based on the above, you have low contrast tones, so you're better off going with a darker, more monochromatic color scheme with the clothes. Avoid lighter colors (e.g., whites, pastels), and avoid highly contrasting colored clothing that will draw attention away from your face.

 

See, here's where I get confused. I've heard similar advice to what you just gave, but in the post above yours Southern Cal Dude gave some contradictory advice, like that I could pull off bright colors.

[DannyMason]

Classic masculine

 

I've seen this phrase around here before but I'm kinda missing out on the joke. What's the story?

[DannyMason]

Generally, you definitely want to wear clothes that fit.

 

Generally.

 

I don't know how old you are...

 

25 for the time being.

 

Jeans (Diesel, Tommy Hilfiger)

Long Sleeve Shirts (Ralph Lauren, assorted other brands)

Short Sleeve Shirts (Acropolis, Banana Republic, Superdry, various others)

Sneakers (Vans, Nikes, Superdry)

Boots (Timberlands, some others)

Hooded Sweatshirts (various)

Khaki (in Khaki and Black) Pants (various)

Shorts (Canterbury of New Zealand, various, I try to avoid shorts with millions of pockets)

Polos (Ralph Lauren, Lacoste)

A watch (I have several different brands: Rolex, G Shock, Fossil, Links of London)

 

Thanks! I'll look into these brands and their selections.

 

You can find some great clothes at low prices at Marshalls (don't know if there's one around you).

 

I'm sure I can find one somewhere.

[Southern Cal Dude]

See, here's where I get confused. I've heard similar advice to what you just gave, but in the post above yours Southern Cal Dude gave some contradictory advice, like that I could pull off bright colors.

 

 

You'll be fine with bright colors. White is what you need to avoid.

[DannyMason]

Straight leg or loose skinny jeans with a tapered button down short sleeve shirt. Ray Bans, a good haircut with movement and if you can carry them off, canvas shoes with no socks, for the summer.

 

You have interestingly specific ideas on how a guy should dress there, TBF. But the specific points are what makes it helpful. What do you mean when you say the haircut should have movement? I googled "haircut with movement" but the search results didn't help.

[DannyMason]

@DannyMason I hope you won't mind a bit of hijacking the thread but I've got a question greatly related to yours.

 

Since I got my new job 2 years ago, when I have to obey formal dress code I have been dressing quite formally outside work as well. I always wanted to have a job where I can put on a suit (or semi-formal, tie not needed) and having the opportunity to do it - well I do it with smile on my face.

 

However I do dress like that outside work. Sometimes I do wear dark-blue, straight-leg jeans with a nice shirt just to not over-dress myself..

 

I've been told that I am "only" 25 and should be dressing a bit more "freely" and casually. I do that sometimes, but my primary outfit when going out to see friends, dinner, date, even movie or theatre is always at least semi-formal. Would you say it's an exaggeration of some kind?

 

 

@DannyMason congratulations on your weight loss, it's pretty impressive! I hope, with advice of LS Ladies you'll transform yourself nicely!

 

Sure, hijack away. I never meant for this thread to only be about my own specific case. If anyone out there has a comment to make about dressing to be datable, chime in!