tom_in_england Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 Hello everyone! I have never posted on here before but I am a long time reader of the forum so I'm hoping to get some of the helpful advice that everyone else seems to get! I met a girl around christmas last year while I was at a work christmas party in london (for the record, I am 23, she is 26). Nothing happened between us other than a lovely chat and we exchanged numbers. For one reason and another, we didnt meet again until April, but have been talking on the phone and texting almost everyday since we first met last year, so I feel I know her really well. We have met up a few times in the past 2 months, and I think I have really really fallen for her. I have never felt so strongly for a girl before, let alone someone I have only met a handfull of times. But this is where my problems lie. I have never been a very confident person, and partly as a result of this I have never had much of a relationship with a girl before. And this is what I adore about the girl in question.... on the surface she is a really confident, bubbly person, but I have gotten to know that underneath, she is very unsure about herself, very self conscious and quite nervous about things. and this is what I absolutely love about her. She is so perfect for me, and I am quite sure that she may feel the same. Now, over the past 2 weeks she has been really unusually quiet. I havent seen her and she hasn't been calling as much as usual. I was getting quite confused and really down about this until I found out that something had happened to do with her ex that has caused her to have a bit of a break down. She called me last week and was crying on the phone, I really felt bad for her. She doesn't want to tell me the exact details, but something awfull that her ex did to her that had happened in the past has all been brought back up. Now if this wasn't enough, last night she told me that she had been thinking alot recently and has decided to apply for a job in austrailia! she said she needs a new start and the sooner she leaves england the better. This has devastated me, to the point of tears. I never cry at anything, but the thought that I am going to lose her is breaking my heart. I think she must know how I feel for her, but I can't tell her straight because I feel so selfish. She is doing it for her own good and who am I to beg her not to do it. She won't be leaving for about 6 months which at least gives me time with her, but I'm thinking that the more I spend time with her, the harder it is going to be. I really dont know what to do to cope with this because I have never felt like this for someone before, let alone knowing I am going to lose that person. Any advice on what I should do I would be very happy to hear. Thank you.
soccerrprp Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 I'm no expert on the subject of love, tom, but I wager what you have is a crush, not real love. You have only met a few times and not for that long at all. And you are very young. If you decide to get closer or continue with the relationship as is you are setting yourself up for some serious hurt as you seem to be aware. You are also correct that if you begin to pour your heart out after she has already revealed her plans to move on and start new, that this would be selfish on your part. It would be. I would say to you that b/c she does not have the same feelings for you as you do for her, let her go. Don't confuse her anymore than she may be. It's tough, but I think, in this case, you should ween yourself off and be friendly if you can handle that. Good luck.
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